How m exBPD girlfriend impacted my life for the good and bad of it.

[ynguns2]

I have posted on here before and i have been doing a lot of reading and soul searching thses days and I find that almost every man or woman who has had dated somebody with BPD has al been led down the same path to good and evil.

I ended a relationship in August with my ex who has and been diagnosed with BPD, we started off so good and I really thought "wow I finally met the woman of my dreams" After I would say twom months i could see these changes in her behavior almost as if she would pout if things did not go her way and that is exactly what happened throughout the whole relationship.

We started arguing every week and she was always bringing up how her ex was a doctor and made all kinds of $$$ but was a complete jerk and so on. I started to realize something was wrong and asked her if she was on any medication "she flipped" and said why? I said I was concerned that's all and she said she was taking lexapro and I said ok does it help? and she said it takes the edge off which i can understand but she was not in therapy and could not understand this.

I eventually started to feel down myself and could not understand why either? I have always been a happy go lucky guy but with her I was always defending myself and trying to please her. I started seeing a therapist in jJanuary of 2012 and this woman had told me leave now but i was a fool and stayed only to be left 4oo miles while on a road trip with her and costing me not only $300 for a rent a car but also $1500 for a lawyer after she filed a restraining order out of pure evilness and I am glad judge dismissed it.

I since then stated dating a new woman who was also sweet and kind and after 2 months she is pregnant and things spiraled downhill but thankfully we are working on it together but the thoughts of my ex still haunt me and I have a hard time forgetting about her and the pain she had caused.

[heartandwhole]

Hi ynguns2,

Dealing with the end of a relationship while also managing a new one, with a child coming, is a lot to take on.  It takes time to grieve the loss – and it was a big loss.  I'm glad you are taking time to soul search.

How are things going in T –what is your main focus right now?

Keep posting.  We're here for you.

heartandwhole 

[ynguns2]

Therapy is good I wish I would have listened to the advice given a year ago. I was blind-sighted by my ex for some readon I remember thoughout whole relationship I never really felt wanted or appreciated and I was always trying to please her and by doing so I made myself totally miserable.

My therapist said no matter what I will be fine I hope he is right and will definitely try my hardest to be a great dad to child. I want to work things out with my currnt girlfiend( K ) and try really hard but she does not give an inch towards anything I say or ask of her.

I am keeping cool and standing my ground it's hard because like you said you go from a bad breakup to instant fatherhood and possible family. I am used to being by myself so it will be an adjustment but one needed for sure.