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Author Topic: Advice on how to respond to this text..  (Read 650 times)
Narellan
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« on: April 30, 2014, 08:35:00 PM »

After ending my friendship on Saturday with my best friend of 20 years who is now looking like being my replacement, I received this text from her after 5 days NC.

I'm worried you might feel the urge to share my secrets now that our friendship means nothing to you. Please don't. Think about all the heartache it will cause to everyone. I will take your secrets to the grave unless of course you share mine. I miss our friendship. It's been a tuff week.

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Banshee
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« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2014, 08:39:30 PM »

Excerpt
I'm worried you might feel the urge to share my secrets now that our friendship means nothing to you. Please don't. Think about all the heartache it will cause to everyone. I will take your secrets to the grave unless of course you share mine. I miss our friendship. It's been a tuff week.

I'm not good with words and I know someone  will post what i'm thinking , but it sounds ewwww to me.
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Cardinals in Flight
formerly NurseRatchet
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« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2014, 08:40:25 PM »

Knee jerk reaction to me? It's a desperate manipulative plea, and honestly? Threatening to out your secrets if you spill hers? Who,does that?  Good riddance!  I know you're hurting but this doesn't sound very friendly to me.

(())

CiF

Oh and do not respond
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Hurtbeyondrepair27
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Relationship status: single (1 month)
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« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2014, 08:41:35 PM »

Listen to me beautiful girl. She is trying to manipulate and guilt you. Ignore her! Seriously? If she REALLY knew you

she would know you wouldn't be trying to cause unnecessary drama and hurt her. She isn't worth it... you're a much better

person.

She's projecting... I really wouldn't be surprised if SHE is doing that.

Not to mention, she is so far from trustworthy. She should have thought about losing you BEFORE

she decided to jump on your ex's pony.

Screw her dude. She's probably just gonna make your life a living hell if you respond... it will not only

give her ammo... but your ex ammo as well.

Ignore the B* IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! It's a trap!
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Banshee
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« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2014, 08:43:59 PM »

Excerpt
Listen to me beautiful girl. She is trying to manipulate and guilt you. Ignore her! Seriously? If she REALLY knew you

she would know you wouldn't be trying to cause unnecessary drama and hurt her. She isn't worth it... you're a much better

person.

She's projecting... I really wouldn't be surprised if SHE is doing that.

Not to mention, she is so far from trustworthy. She should have thought about losing you BEFORE

she decided to jump on your ex's pony.

Screw her dude. She's probably just gonna make your life a living hell if you respond... it will not only

give her ammo... but your ex ammo as well.

Ignore the B* IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! It's a trap!

Doing the right thing (click to insert in post) I knew someone would say what I couldn't put into words! Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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AwakenedOne
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« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2014, 08:52:47 PM »

Narellan,

I'd say don't respond. Nothing to gain by replying back to what she said to you. Just let her sweat it out... . Still I wouldn't reveal her secrets either. Just continue to take the high road. Good job on doing that so far btw.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

AO
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Narellan
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Posts: 1080



« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2014, 09:08:56 PM »

Everyone said don't respond! I couldn't just ignore it, that's me so I sent a brief one line:

"I have no intentions of sharing your secrets"

And yes good riddance. I thought a no reply might tip her over the edge and have her agreeing with my ex BPD and painting me black also . That's probably already happening and it's beyond my control. But I still need to be dignified. By the way, she has nothing on me, the whole thing made me laugh, but also think " you F#cking two faced b___ only concerned for yourself. I can see her clearly now. It's all about her. She hasn't sat back and taken stick and thought " gee I'm really not living right I need to make changes" some people are so clueless. How can it not have entered her F#cked little head that I am aware of her backstabbing and betrayal with my ex BPD? My god when karma comes about she's going to take one hell of a ride straight to hell. 

But I'm at peace with it all today. It's feeling like water off a ducks back. I'm so relieved to be rid of her, and him.

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patientandclear
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« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2014, 09:38:49 PM »

Perfect response.

I've been meaning to post on one of your threads that I hope you realize this this with your friend is going to be awfully short lived.  It's an obvious crutch for your ex.  Your friend is losing a long term friendship for a very momentary flash in the plan.  The fact thatthey are supporting each other on FB in the face of your NC ... . sheesh.  You're still the main character and you aren't even playing.

I'm sure both of them will reach out to you repeatedly.  The more you can turn your focus and attention elsewhere, build serenity and confidence that you're content with how you've shown up in all of this, the better.

You're a class act Narellan.
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Narellan
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Posts: 1080



« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2014, 09:49:52 PM »

  than you so much p.a.c.  Your post really did my heart good. And yes I know you're right, they will both try to come back. My ex BPD told me recently that he'd really raised the bar being with me. I was flattered. Today I just realise how much I was lowering mine. Funny how thing you've been told alter with hindsight.

I really thank you for your message. I'm having a bit of a rough day after the text. It's put them back in my headspace again. I'm going to go NC with her now too. Alls been said and done. Thank you for saying " I'm a class act" . amazing how complete strangers can see my worth more than the people I thought loved me.
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rg1976
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« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2014, 10:44:34 PM »

You could say: "But... . I've already written so much, and I've purchased the domain and everything."
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