Big hoopla over signing closing papers-- home stretch, I hope

[atcrossroads]

Hi all,

Last time I posted it was seeking advice about filing harassment charges against my husband after the closing (he is buying house from me).  Although I still feel ambivalent and really want to let him go in peace after the closing, I am 99% sure I will file the show cause for harassment.

My newest issue is his closing.  It was to be before the first of May, which would have benefited him because he wouldn't have had to pay the big mortgage one more month.  He's apparently had a real struggle with refi, and it's taken him nearly 90 days to get it together.  It's to happen tomorrow.  My lawyer has banned him from coming on property of his law office and he will no longer speak to my husband on the phone.  My husband's been through a couple of attorneys and "represents" himself (which means I'm paying through the nose because my attorney is having to do all necessary paperwork, including an amendment to my husband's closing, etc.  This burns me because it's so flipping unfair).  At any rate, he's been so abusive and harassing to my attorney and his office that he will be arrested if he so much as pulls into the parking lot.

So, my lawyer and I discussed the closing papers and thought it would be prudent for me to get the papers from my husband and look over them with my attorney to make sure everything is ok.  His paralegal could then notarize my signature and I would get papers back to husband.   SEPARATELY.  I had zero thoughts of us sitting down signing all this together.  ZERO.

I let my husband know via email that I would be signing at lawyer's office.  This sets off a completely irrational string of emails and calls.  My husband then "schedules" the closing to take place at MY attorney's office at a certain time.  WTH?  I tried to explain we did not need to sign together; that's where I was signing, not WE.  My attorney is not doing his closing; he has used him enough.  My husband claims we must sign together and we were welcome to call police to supervise.  (!)  Um, no, we just won't meet there, jerk.

Finally my lawyer chimed in and reminded husband he's not to be on premises; furthermore, he would be in court most of day and not even in office during the time my husband scheduled the meeting.  He let him have it for being so brazen to use his office for signing -- of course not even asking if that suited either of us and conveniently forgetting he's not allowed there because he's been such and a$$. 

Husband comes back that we do have to sign together, blah, blah.  Many emails later it comes out that we do NOT have to sign together, just the same day, but there is additional charge to sign separately.  He informs me if we sign separately I have to cover that fee. What?  Do I?  It's HIS closing?  Why do I have to pay because I feel 100% uncomfortable with the thought of being anywhere near him.

He, of course, is accusing me of blocking his closing, threatening a show cause (for what?), even claiming I'm blackmailing him (which makes zero sense).

My lawyer is utterly sick of him.  He has name called him, treated his staff like dirt, attempted to intimidate him in public, etc.  Attorney said he takes the cake for the most difficult litigant he's had to deal with in 20 years of practice. 

-I do NOT want to be at some 2 hour closing (that's how long mine took) with my crazy stb ex husband.  It's his closing, not mine.  I just want to sign the necessary spot and get my equity.

-It will not take place at my attorney's.

-Am I responsible to pay the fee because I want to sign separately?

-Should I just cave it and say let's meet at public library with closing agent and do it together to get it over with?  If so, should I bring someone with me?  A friend?  I don't want to pay attorney if not needed.

-Do I actually need my attorney to look over the paperwork?  Probably not, I guess.

Once again, something simple could not possibly be messier.  I envisioned him doing his closing, getting the paperwork to me, me going to get it signed/notarized, and getting paperwork back to him.  Is that unheard of?  The divorce has been hell and in no way amicable.  He thinks I am the anti-Christ and should burn in hell.  Why would he think it's proper to gather around a table with just him and a closing agent?

Again, I'd be ever so grateful for any wisdom or advice.  I need to let him know today where/when etc. to sign.

[livednlearned]

I'm so sorry.

It really sucks when disordered people represent themselves.

If I were you, I would pay the additional fee to file separately. Avoid being in the same place for 2 hours.

But be sure that a lawyer does look over the paperwork. I had to hire a real estate attorney because my regular family law attorney said she is not experienced and didn't want to mess up such a big transaction. You want to be sure that everything is handled perfectly, and if your ex is representing himself, who knows what he might've overlooked (never in your favor).

Can you work through the closing agent? Have your ex sign papers, and then you sign papers? When I did the signing, the closing company came to me. They had someone whose job was to run around town getting signatures.

[ForeverDad]

You're also on the deed?  Don't hand over the quit claim to him, make sure it only goes to the closing attorney with strict instructions it is only to be filed if the closing is successful.   If ex gets the quit claim filed and then fails to close... . then much of your leverage for compliance is *gone*.

I'm not a lawyer but I've been around here enough to know that leverage means a lot when trying to get compliance to court orders.  A court order often isn't enough to prompt better behaviors and sometimes a judge is reluctant to enforce an order, at least not quickly.

[atcrossroads]

Thanks to both of you!     A friend sent me a screenshot just now of a post he put on FB saying he had closed on the house; I'm going to have to trust it went through.  The closing did seem a little fishy to me -- mine was so organized and thorough, and this closing agent just seemed clueless.  I don't think I signed a 'quit claim' -- I signed something that said we were separated, blah, blah.  Maybe it was the quit claim?  I asked the closing agent, "Now what am I signing here?" and he said, "I don't know?  That's legal stuff."  No ___! 

My husband forwarded the HUD to my attorney, and he looked over it and gave me go ahead to meet with him.  I felt safe in the library, and like I said on other thread, we didn't have to interact, thank goodness.  I guess the house part will truly be over when I receive my portion of the equity.

I appreciate your wisdom and advice VERY much.  Closing in on being ALL done soon!