I'm moving out... so scared

[lostinlove75]

I posted in the other room, hoping to work through this... . I have to go.

My husband has chosen to move closer to his next future ex wife. Says he loves the feeling of the "bliss" and how it's brand new. I've gone everything to try and make him see the value in this marriage, even using the tools I found on this site. He inches closer,  then pulls away constantly.  He sobs about screwing up this marriage, then attacks me about stupid, irrelevant things. I can't wait any longer.

So I'm leaving. I managed to get sn apartment.  This is so surreal.  Even when the apartment mgr called me to tell me I got it, I told her I'd let her know in the morning... . There I was, being hopeful again that something would drastically change overnight.

So I move Saturday.  I haven't told him or his kids. I don't know how. Even though he's leaving me, I feel like I'm abandoning them. But I have to go. I am dying on the inside and need to start healing and soon.

I fully expect his BPD to go into overdrive when I leave. I'm expecting "I knew I was too much for you" or "u always had a plan to leave". I'm trying to figure out how to handle that still. He's the one leaving me. His wreckless behavior outside the marriage did this damage. I'm leaving because I tried EVERYTHING.  I know he is torn and still loves me, but he won't work to fix this, and even as I leave, I will still get all the blame... . again. ugh... .

[LettingGo14]

lostinlove75 --

I want to express empathy.  I know this is hard, and that you have arrived at a considered decision.  For me, it helps to write down what I need to do when faced with difficult situations -- identifying as many of the practical variables as I can.

-How are you going to tell him?

-What legal steps, if any, have you taken, or plan to take?

-Are you physically and emotionally safe?

[nolisan]

Good for you! Take care.