What did you lose?

[Narellan]

Ive really enjoyed reading these posts

Especially  the 3some story with ronnie mac hahahahahaha

Its good to laugh sometimes in the face of everything were going through... .

[GhostDad]

Ive lost (so far) my;

4 children

Every friend (but one)

In laws

Home

Every thing inside the house

Reputation

Freedom (jailed briefly)

Dignity

Basically, I give up. I've called an attorney and instructed him to file for the divorce and to push it through, whatever the cost, whatever I must sign off on. I simply want out at any cost. I want it over with. This past year has absolutely consumed every facet of my being. And it's done nothing but take and not moved even an inch forward.

The kids will one day be old enough to self determine. And when that day comes for them, I'll be here if they choose to see me.

The continued pursuit by my soon to be ex-BPDw, in aggressively seeking to have me criminally charged over technical violations of protective orders, is just simply too much risk to bear.

Until my children are removed from any and all orders of protection, I simply will not engage in any form of contact with them. It's been 9 months since the torrent of allegations were first unleashed.

Since that time, nothing has been proven. And yet, I'm treated like a criminal. She's effectively dehumanized me by smearing me to all whom I know.

So congratulations. You've won. I've fooled everyone for twenty four years only to be found out just 3 months after asking for a divorce. Sometimes it amazes me that I got away with it for so long!

And now, I'll simply walk away. Never to be heard from again. My inventory of what's left is just enough to start over. My health, career. Maybe I'll love again one day. Maybe even children again. I'd really love that, although I doubt it will ever happen. Right now, I just love solitude. Nobody to accommodate. I really like that.

Thanks for listening. I apologize for the length, but I'm devastated.

[Narellan]

Ghost dad. My boys are just now realising how bad their dads behaviour is. They couldn't see it when they were living with it. But now they ask me why I stayed for so long. They are fiercely protective of me. They love both of us, but are so glad they only spend a couple of nights a fortnight with him.

Can you write your kids a letter of your love for them, and that what you are doing by staying away is for them. To make life easier for them. Without bagging her, let them see from your heart how much you love them.

During the divorce proceedings you can ask for access to them if you want to be in their life at this stage. She may push for supervised access, but that might be better for you than nothing? I really feel your pain.

[kba1969]

GhostDad, hang in there!  Your doing the right thing!  I filed for divorce in my marriage back in 2007.  My daughter was 2.  We set up a parenting schedule right in the beginning of the divorce in which I had my daughter from Sunday night til Friday every week.  We made it clear to my x that she would need to work and get a job (get her feet on the ground).  During the beginning of the divorce she accused me of hitting her and I was arrested.  I can still remember standing in front of the judge in handcuffs and ankle shackles.  I thought there was no chance in the divorce.

     That was almost 7 years ago and $175,000 later!  I live in my marital home with my daughter, she sees her mom on three weekends per month.  My x wife has nothing, she spent the $100,000 I gave her and lives in a hotel! 

     I would recommend keeping contact with your kids and do it through supervised visitation, it protects YOU.  Things will improve and your kids will see the big picture some day.  My daughter is 9 and figured it out, you should see how good she feels when she comes home on Sundays.  Her home is here with me and she sees her mothers disfunction.  Take care of you, stay strong and the rest will work itself out

[Mutt]

This thread has reached its 4-page limit. This is a worthwhile topic, and you are welcome to start a new thread if you'd like.