Breakthrough: Tiny bit of light at the end of a long tunnel

[Parents! Get help here!]

Thank you to all of you here. I would not be where I am today had I not had the support  and advice from the BPD family.

After nearly 2 months had a text conversation with dd and I am so glad that I did what a lot of you suggested.

I took the advice on board. Took the time out for me that I needed to heal myself. Tried to read up on BPD and tried to understand what I needed to do to move forward. I took a step back and looked at how I could change the way I react.

I was a mess when I joined this family in April. I have learned so much and still have a lot to learn from all of you here going through the same experience.

But the good news is the outcome. All the information I gathered here made a big difference to my thinking. It made me reach out to dd yesterday. The result, We had a good text conversation. It was hard to try and remember validation techniques ( I am still learning) but outcome was good.

DD said she is seeing a T and trying to cope. There is hope. I am ecstatic. I know it is a slow long road and I will need to lean on my family here but I know that I will get any help I ask for.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all.

Any further tips on validation would be most appreciated.

[mama62]

Thank you to all of you here. I would not be where I am today had I not had the support  and advice from the BPD family.

After nearly 2 months had a text conversation with dd and I am so glad that I did what a lot of you suggested.

I took the advice on board. Took the time out for me that I needed to heal myself. Tried to read up on BPD and tried to understand what I needed to do to move forward. I took a step back and looked at how I could change the way I react.

I was a mess when I joined this family in April. I have learned so much and still have a lot to learn from all of you here going through the same experience.

But the good news is the outcome. All the information I gathered here made a big difference to my thinking. It made me reach out to dd yesterday. The result, We had a good text conversation. It was hard to try and remember validation techniques ( I am still learning) but outcome was good.

DD said she is seeing a T and trying to cope. There is hope. I am ecstatic. I know it is a slow long road and I will need to lean on my family here but I know that I will get any help I ask for.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all.

Any further tips on validation would be most appreciated.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

   

Such good news! So happy things have improved for you. If you take a look to the right>> >> >> >> >

I would read the links posted there. All of them very helpful. The more you practice validation the easier it is.

[hopeangel]

Oh Mama62 you are doing brilliantly!    I second jellibeans in saying how happy I am for you and       

I also second jellibeans in that the more you read the more it sinks in and you can do it!

If you ever have a specific problem we can give you tips on how to validate your dds feelings about it but it is mainly about realising where she might be coming from (taking into account all the issues the disorder brings about not least self loathing and skewed perceptions) and then communicate this understanding of her feelings back to her so that she knows that you know, then she can begin to relax around you as she will feel that you are both on the same page (at least some of the time).

[mama62]

Thank you jellibeans and hopeangel for all the encouragement.I am sure it will get easier.

[pessim-optimist]

That is wonderful news Mama62!   

It does get easier to use the tools and techniques with time and practice.

Also, we usually get do-overs, so when we mess up, we can do better next time! Knowing that that takes the stress level down for me.