Being Happy

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I started actively working on the little things that people do to be happy over a year ago and overall I can see a general improvement in my overall way I look at the world.  It is not tied to a relationship, job or any single thing - it is a way I am choosing to see the world.

One of the key things for me was my daily gratitude list.

So, many here know I love Super Soul Sunday - this week was about happiness... . specifically, 21 days of actions that change your attitude.  This is data driven research on actionable steps that can improve your happiness.

Who wants to step up and try it - I started this week on the first part of the actions. 

Here is the link to the show:

www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Shawn-Achor-on-the-Secret-of-Happy-People

Thoughts, Comments, any takers on taking happiness into your own hands?

Peace,

SB

[seeking balance]

I started actively working on the little things that people do to be happy over a year ago and overall I can see a general improvement in my overall way I look at the world.  It is not tied to a relationship, job or any single thing - it is a way I am choosing to see the world.

One of the key things for me was my daily gratitude list.

So, many here know I love Super Soul Sunday - this week was about happiness... . specifically, 21 days of actions that change your attitude.  This is data driven research on actionable steps that can improve your happiness.

Who wants to step up and try it - I started this week on the first part of the actions. 

Here is the link to the show:

www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Oprah-and-Shawn-Achor-on-the-Secret-of-Happy-People

Thoughts, Comments, any takers on taking happiness into your own hands?

Peace,

SB

[Stjarna]

I have long been a student of Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, and other spiritual thinkers/teachers who subscribe to a "new thought" way of looking at things, the power of our intentions, the law of attraction, living in the present moment, etc.  Gratitude is a wonderfully simple yet profound way to instantly change our perceptions in the present moment.  Being grateful for the steps on the journey ultimately leads to a place where you can look back and say, "Those were happy times."  In other words, happiness isn't the endpoint, the destination... . it's our perception of the journey that defines whether we are happy people or not.

Someone posted a quote from Lonesome Dove on Facebook today, and it struck me as true:  "Lorie, darlin, life in San Francisco, you see, is still just life.  If you want any one thing too badly, it's likely to turn out to be a disappointment. The only healthy way to live life is to learn to like all the little everyday things, like a sip of good whiskey in the evening, a soft bed, a glass of buttermilk, or a feisty gentleman like myself -- Gus."

"If you want any one thing too badly... . " speaks to the notion of attachment to an outcome, and I guess the point I am trying to reach is the place where you embrace the whole journey, the entire rollercoaster, the ups and the downs as being essential parts of our existence.  There is peace in that total acceptance.   I'm still in the infantile stages of learning to savor the journey and be grateful, but I have come light years from the scared and lonely teenager that I was, oh 41 or 42 years ago!

[Cumulus]

Hi seeking balance. Thought provoking question. Made me wonder is gratitude the same as happiness? It is a similar feeling. Made me wonder why do we pursue happiness as a goal? The very moment we catch it, it can be snatched away. To me happiness would best be explained as loving my God and feeling that love returned, loving myself as I am, and loving the people in my life and being in good relationship with them. Yet it is a rare day when I feel good with all three at the same time, yet I can still feel happiness. I think too, that happiness and hope are inextricably tied, lose one and you lose the other, have one and you have the other.

Have you watched the TED talk on happiness? I believe someone here posted it, was it you?  The researcher  took two opposite circumstances, one winning the lottery and the other being paralyzed, and compared the people having those events. Without surprise initially the lottery winners were the happiest, however within a year both described the same levels of happiness.

One thing of which I am certain is that material goods in no way create sustainable happiness.

Thanks for the thought of the day

[seeking balance]

Thanks for joining in Cumulus & Stjarna

I have been reading the same things for years and yes, I have watched that TED talk (I watch a new talk most nights actually).

This research is very specific and with results that are not determined by brain chemistry or genetics - change can still occur.  Gratitude and happiness are not the same, but the act of gratitude helps us see life in a way that we can recognize the simple things, ie seem happier rather than bleak.

There are 2 parts to this interview - this one suggests in 21 days there are measurable changes based on research by doing these 3 things (the other ones will be talked about next week).

1. when you wake up in the morning, 3 things to be grateful for.

2. thank you notes or calls to someone each day

3.  visualizing pleasure (a vacation, something that made you happy - the brain doesn't recognize a difference between visualizing it or doing it apparently)

Simple things - I am doing them - why not?  It cannot hurt me and if it does work, wow!

[dontknow2]

Hi SB,

Timing of your post is interesting. My art therapist had me do a meditation and it ended thoughts of being joy/happiness. Then, she asked me to draw whatever came to mind. In the picture, I had people jumping, riding bikes, playing with a ball, and holding balloons. I used to love watching my kids be in heavenly joy with balloons. They are teenagers now and not interested in doing anything anymore.

So, I decided to get some balloons of different color and walk around my neighborhood by myself... . we'll see how far I get  . I've gotta start breaking patterns using out of the box tools, stop letting financial/head problems get in my way, and just try whatever.

I'll let you know how it goes.

dontknow2

[corraline]

cool,  seeking balance !

having the willingness to set an intention for happiness in your life sounds great and inspiring.

there is another project that focuses on gratitude.  its a 42 day project called go gratitude.

im going to check out the link you provided !

thanks 

[dontknow2]

Update on balloon adventure... . attempt to wake up my childlike joy.

I got 10 helium balloons in rainbow colors and walked around the neighborhood (7 blocks or so) holding them. I found the most joy going to the store, picking out the balloons, and talking to my boys about it as I am holding the balloons.

In regards to the walk itself, I realized walking around with 1 balloon would have been better. I went a little overboard with 10 (cheap rate ).

In addition to trying to wake up my childlike joy, it increased my self-awareness. It reminded me one, the answers I most seek are in me. It was another chance for me to confirm... . When I get a new idea, it will take a number of tries to get it to "click". When the click happens sometimes just in my head, I am likely to just want to try something new. This may be a reflection of my satisfaction; not the opposite as it may seem. This might be a signature move of mine in life activities. I'll be monitoring this.   

Thanks SB.

[Red Sky]

My latest project in trying to be grateful for the good things in life was a thing that has been going around social media called 100 Happy Days, which involved posting a picture of one thing that made you happy every day for 100 days. I'm at day 92 though I have forgotten on a couple of days.

Has it helped? Sort of. I've certainly gone through the time listing to myself the things which make me happy, far more than the one thing a day that I've posted. I am more grateful for the little things. When I sit down with a cup of tea I take a second to think that it's a nice thing to do. At the same time it's quite often hard to find tangible things to photograph, and I'm not sure some of my Facebook friends don't think I'm frightfully smug

[Lucky Jim]

Hey SB, You might like to check out a book, The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor, which covers similar ground.  My view is that one can never have Too Much Happiness, so all these techniques and approaches have merit and are worth exploring.  LuckyJim

[seeking balance]

Hey SB, You might like to check out a book, The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor, which covers similar ground.  My view is that one can never have Too Much Happiness, so all these techniques and approaches have merit and are worth exploring.  LuckyJim

LJ - the video link is with Oprah and Shawn 

[seeking balance]

Update on balloon adventure... . attempt to wake up my childlike joy.

I got 10 helium balloons in rainbow colors and walked around the neighborhood (7 blocks or so) holding them. I found the most joy going to the store, picking out the balloons, and talking to my boys about it as I am holding the balloons.

In regards to the walk itself, I realized walking around with 1 balloon would have been better. I went a little overboard with 10 (cheap rate ).

In addition to trying to wake up my childlike joy, it increased my self-awareness. It reminded me one, the answers I most seek are in me. It was another chance for me to confirm... . When I get a new idea, it will take a number of tries to get it to "click". When the click happens sometimes just in my head, I am likely to just want to try something new. This may be a reflection of my satisfaction; not the opposite as it may seem. This might be a signature move of mine in life activities. I'll be monitoring this.   

Thanks SB.

Thanks so much for sharing - childlike joy - Brene' Brown talks about this being important for wholehearted living too - how awesome you are doing it!  Keep updating us 

[seeking balance]

My latest project in trying to be grateful for the good things in life was a thing that has been going around social media called 100 Happy Days, which involved posting a picture of one thing that made you happy every day for 100 days. I'm at day 92 though I have forgotten on a couple of days.

Has it helped? Sort of. I've certainly gone through the time listing to myself the things which make me happy, far more than the one thing a day that I've posted. I am more grateful for the little things. When I sit down with a cup of tea I take a second to think that it's a nice thing to do. At the same time it's quite often hard to find tangible things to photograph, and I'm not sure some of my Facebook friends don't think I'm frightfully smug

Good stuff Redsky - I notice the little stuff now too.

[seeking balance]

So, I watched part 2 and I want to take the time to watch both back/to/back - it felt more fragmented and not sure I absorbed it all the second time.

one thing that I am realizing is that life still has disappointments or stress, balancing this with my overall happier mood, is interesting to observe in myself.  I can tell a difference.

[Lucky Jim]

one thing that I am realizing is that life still has disappointments or stress, balancing this with my overall happier mood, is interesting to observe in myself.  I can tell a difference.

Hello again, SB.  I agree w/you.  I view stress and downswings as all part of the healing process.  Getting divorced from my BPDexW, of course, did not magically cause all of my problems to disappear, particularly because my life was in shambles after 16 years of BPD drama and turmoil.  Yet my worst day is still better than life in the throes of marriage to a pwBPD, and somehow I welcome the work that remains to be done.

LuckyJim

[myself]

and somehow I welcome the work that remains to be done.

That's such a great way to see it! Acceptance all around.

As someone who is somewhere in the middle lately, there are times it seems bland and empty. When I see it as it's because I've been clearing the way from what was to what will be, I look forward to the increase of happiness to come. There's already some.