Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
July 10, 2025, 03:53:00 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
99
Could it be BPD
BPDFamily.com Production
Listening to shame
Brené Brown, PhD
What is BPD?
Blasé Aguirre, MD
What BPD recovery looks like
Documentary
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: I must be nuts  (Read 718 times)
co.jo
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 110


« on: June 08, 2014, 12:50:38 AM »

Today I will be flying across the country  at a cost of $1500 plus for flight and hotel, to watch my daughter graduate from university. I do not expect to speak to her as she is n/c, so it is a huge amount of money for her 5 seconds on stage. Still, I thought it over, and decided it felt far worse not to go than to go. I will return home the next day. I will text her after the ceremony, and just congratulate her and let her know I was there, but I am sure she still won't see me.

Gee, she is still costing me money even when she isn't speaking to me! Anyway, I hope it will be ok. It feels right for me to go. Wish me luck!
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
InnerSpin

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2014, 02:38:33 AM »

Good luck, co-jo. I'm new here, but can imagine the turbulent past you've had with her. I think you're doing the right thing. It's something that will matter more in the future than now. BTW you're not nuts!
Logged
femom

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 42


« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2014, 08:52:39 AM »

Congratulations and you are NOT nuts for going to see your daughter's graduation.  I can only imagine the journey to arrive at this point and this moment has as much meaning for you as it does for your daughter.  Celebrate her achievement because it belongs to you too!
Logged
Someday . . .
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married, 36 years
Posts: 136



« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2014, 12:29:51 PM »

I just wanted to let you know that you are in good company!  I have been 'nuts' on many occasions.

I tend to feel, that if I DON'T go, that's its a bigger 'wrench' thrown into our relationship than if I do go . . .I have been there and done that. 

May you enjoy the trip . . in whatever way you can!
Logged
pessim-optimist
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 2537



« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2014, 12:58:58 PM »

Congratulations co.jo! It is wonderful that you decided to do this - you say that it feels worse not to go than to go - that's the important part and reason.

Congrats to your daughter, I hope today is going well for you. 
Logged
peaceplease
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 2300



« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2014, 08:12:31 PM »

co.jo,


I do not think you are nuts.  You would feel worse not to go, than to go is the only right decision.  I hope all goes well for you!

peaceplease
Logged
tristesse
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 410


Let your Beauty Unfold.


« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2014, 07:28:27 AM »

I would also go, you are far from being nuts. Congratulations to the graduate as well, that is quite an accomplishment.

Good Luck to you.
Logged

lever.
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 717


« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2014, 04:02:24 PM »

You're far from nuts co-jo. I imagine that your emotions will be mixed but in the future she will be aware that you made the effort.

Logged
Joey2008

*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17


« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2014, 05:56:06 PM »

I'm very new at this, but I don't think you're nuts at all. If she won't let you do it for her, then doing it for yourself makes sense to me. Safe travels. I hope all goes well.
Logged
PaulaJeanne
***
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: married
Posts: 106



WWW
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2014, 12:59:30 PM »

Not nuts co.jo, I would do the same thing. No matter what goes on I try to always take the high road & show my unconditional love. My thought process is even tho there's NC, you're demonstrating what a true parental love looks like. It means your door is open. One day maybe she'll walk through that door, or walk in your shoes and realize that what you did out of love by stuffing aside your own pride to witness her accomplishment.
Logged
scudrunner

*
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 24



« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2014, 10:51:54 AM »

I don't think you're nuts; you're a  parent.  Good luck.   
Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
MammaMia
*******
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1098



« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2014, 12:22:24 PM »

cojo

If at all possible, find a way to your dd know you are at the graduation even if you do not speak to her.  Just the fact that you are there may open new doors. Do not get in her face, just make her aware you are physically there.   

Take pride in knowing you are an awesome parent and you love her, even from a distance.  Do this for you.  Even if she does not respond, you have done the right thing.

God bless you and keep you safe on your journey.




Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!