Why couldn't she understand how much I loved her? Just why?
I just can't convince myself. Most of the times she knew exactly how I was feeling.
But why not love?
I am sorry you hurt so much Alex, detaching is really painful sometimes.
BPD is an attachment disorder, it has nothing to do with love. Unfortunately.
https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a109.htm - this article tends to sum up best what keeps us stuck... . here is one of the 10 False Beliefs that might resonate with you right now.
4) Belief that love can prevail
Once these relationships seriously rupture, they are harder to repair than most – many wounds that existed before the relationship have been opened. Of course you have a lot invested in this relationship and your partner has been an integral part of your dreams and hopes - but there are greater forces at play now.
For you, significant emotional wounds have been inflicted upon an already wounded soul. To revitalize your end of the relationship, you would need to recover from your wounds and emerge as an informed and loving caretaker – it’s not a simple journey. You need compassion and validation to heal - something your partner most likely won’t understand – and you can’t provide for yourself right now
For your partner, there are longstanding and painful fears, trust issues, and resentments that have been triggered. Your partner is coping by blaming much of it on you. For your partner to revitalize their end of the relationship, they would need to understand and face their wounds and emerge very self-aware and mindful. This is likely an even greater challenge than you face.
