I Really need some help

[AimingforMastery]

This whole experience really is exhausting. I feel so emotionally numb and fried. Last night I started to reminisce of the good times. I miss her charm, her child like mannerisms. Just laying with her.

Funny because I hated her every single day we hung out. I just have that feeling of you don't know what you had until it's gone syndrome. But I know that can't be true. I know exactly what I had. And I despised it.

Stay with the last four words. Why? Because someone who is ill can't give you what you need or deserve... .

[zenwexler]

This entire thread became really powerful. I'm blown Way by everything being stated and it's all stuff that I really need to hear. There was always something missing. I did always want more. She never gave me true love except for very small doses. She had me running in circles. She won't ever be happy. She's incapable of mature healthy love. I do miss just having someone because lets face it life is better shared. And she has no true perception of love considering she's been in "love" with four guys in three years.

I just wish I could begin to truly let her go. For good. I still think about her, fantasize about her, and hope for her. Pretty funny considering she drove me absolutely insane and has continuously proven herself to be incapable of pretty much any aspect of life. And I say that from an honest place, not a bitter broken heart. She was capable of such little things. It makes me feel bad for her. Which is why I think I hold on. It's like my baby niece. She's so young, unintelligent, needy, and weak. It's almost cute. But rather then except that she's becomes bratty, mean manipulative, overbearing, exhausting, mean, abusive is tiring. It's hard being a father to soneone you are dating. W

Especially  when they fight you every step of the way. I want a partner. An equal.

[enlighten me]

Zenwexler

You have to understand that you are going cold turkey. This is why NC works best. The less contact you have the quicker the healing process.

Use logic, distraction and anything that will give you a positive lift.

You need to use everything that you can to get over the addiction and it is an addiction.

Get angry use the anger to see how bad it was. Don't wallow in self pity but think F you your not worth it. I wasted all that time and money that I could have used for something meaningful.

Your body is reacting on a chemical level to this so use positive chemicals your body produces to counter it. Play loud music that makes you happy. Sing to it even if your tone deaf like me it helps. Just avoid songs that remind you of them. Put on the F you songs.

Go out and exercise. Not to make you look good to them but for you.

Plan a project or even start one.

At all costs avoid alcohol or other drugs. No-one wants to be the sorry drunk wallowing in self pity and it will only drag out the healing process.

Trust me I have been through it twice. You will feel better. It may take a while but one day you will wake up and not think about them the whole day. Eventually you will look at a picture of them and think "really, She wasn't actually that hot". The veil will be lifted and you can get on with your life without them.