So, had a text

[Eric1]

I've been doing ok-ish. I've stopped drinking, which obviously has helped with feeling depressed. Started back at the gym and making a real effort to get out and about. I'm taking my nephew swimming tomorrow & have just comeback from a friends house.

I was thinking about her on the drive home & when I got home, I was running through a scenario of her texting me, but making the text read like it was an accident.

Then, my phone goes. It's a text from her 'hope you're ok x' We haven't spoken for a while, she didn't contact me on my birthday, then she just texts this.

She will be drunk no doubt. My heart is racing & I'm mixed with emotions. I know it's for her own validation. Crazy what a text can make you feel. I'm kind of happy to have received something, even though it's just a breadcrumb.

[amigo]

Hi Eric, I just received a crumb yesterday too. After 3 weeks of ST, my ex texted "How are you". That evolved into a few more texts and then a phone call were he let me know he is busy and just wanted to say hi.

I have to admit, it did feel good for him to break the ST and I felt validated that he was thinking about me and that I didn't break the NC, but he did.

HOWEVER, you can read this in my little narcissism post and other posts I wrote recently, I am certain that this text was ALL about him reaching out to make sure his narcissistic supply was still available and that he really had no interest in how I was actually doing. And once he got the sense that I was game and wanted to indeed meet up with him, he was done. I am almost certain that I will not hear from him again in weeks.

My heart was racing and I had many emotions, like you, but the one that I kept was the one where I smiled and said to myself "how predictable this BPD/NPD behavior is. Thank you for reminding me that you have not changed one bit". So this text actually helped me stay away.

Good for you for going to the gym and hanging out with friends and family. Keep it up. She will only contact you when she needs something. If she really was hoping you are ok, she would have contacted you on your birthday, wouldn't she have?

Hang in there. It will get better, you are on the right path.

[Caredverymuch]

I've been doing ok-ish. I've stopped drinking, which obviously has helped with feeling depressed. Started back at the gym and making a real effort to get out and about. I'm taking my nephew swimming tomorrow & have just comeback from a friends house.

I was thinking about her on the drive home & when I got home, I was running through a scenario of her texting me, but making the text read like it was an accident.

Then, my phone goes. It's a text from her 'hope you're ok x' We haven't spoken for a while, she didn't contact me on my birthday, then she just texts this.

She will be drunk no doubt. My heart is racing & I'm mixed with emotions. I know it's for her own validation. Crazy what a text can make you feel. I'm kind of happy to have received something, even though it's just a breadcrumb.

Eric, I surely understand how you feel. It's so hard not to think about someone we cared so very much about. And learning about BPD and ourselves. Hard work added on top off pure grieving.  And missing.

CONGRATULATIONS on making the choice to no longer self medicate with the drink. You are strong and this takes a great deal of courage. It sounds like it really has helped to lessen your depression.  Keep honoring that hard work, Eric!

I have to echo Amigo on this. I took the breadcrumbs too at one time. but  She will only contact you when she needs something. If she really was hoping you are ok, she would have contacted you on your birthday, wouldn't she have?

Hang in there. It will get better, you are on the right path. You really are! And you have support here. Happy birthday again Eric and next year will be a better one. Keep the strength and enjoy the goodness of your friends and family 

[Eric1]

I replied a couple of hours ago.

All I wrote was 'I'm ok. How are you?x'

Not reply back.

She wins, again.

[amigo]

It's ok, I replied too. She will send something else when she feels like it. When it suits her.

I am in exactly the same position as you.

Consider it a confirmation of what you already now.

[camuse]

Change your number if you can - it was easy for me to do so and feels good knowing my phone can't be made to beep by her. Told everyone who needed to know, so one less power to her - contacting me is pretty difficult now. She'd have to write a letter or turn up on my door, and I can't see her being bothered with either of those options