hermit , waif information

[ajr5679]

I am looking for information on what a waif , hermit are like .

my ex knows she has BPD.

I am someone that need to put my puzzle together because I am so tired of picking people to share my life with that have BPD. my mother and three ex girlfriends. all have been diagnosed with BPD , but my last one was the worst. she sent three of her girlfriends to the mental ward and she laughs about it . I could go into crazy stories and I can relate to mot of your stories.

she would tell me that she could just look at me somedays and hate me . I would asked her why? and she would say I have no idea .

everything was about her needs not mine .

she broke up with me for no reason she just said that it felt like she was trapped.

she would send all of her time in the garden because she said it made her stop thinking.

she would take ambian because she could not sleep and it would get her high.

she wanted me to date other girls because she said that could not give me everything I needed. ( so I did )

she would never tell me anything was bothering her she would just go spend money

she never paid any bills but would tell me she was going to.

she got a high from going shopping.

she was always running from one relationship to another. and then back to the old relationship. in the last six years she went from (Fake names) brad to sara ,to brad ,sara ,brad ,sara then ,me back to sara, me sara,me sara and now to another poor girl. she told me that running and moving gave her a high.

she has two kids neither has she been able to raise . she would paint them black just like relationships.

when she needed extra money she would sleep with a old guy for cash.

nothing is her fault but she blames everything on everybody else.

she cant remember anything.

I only seen her rage when she was moving on. but she would control everything. when she was moving on to another person she would be horrible her face would even change.

I am in therapy and my therapist says that everything they do is all about emotions.

i come on here just to know i am not crazy. and the lies i started to believe them . 

[Mutt]

You experienced much trauma in your r/s and I'm so sorry for your pain ajr5679   From what you described so far it's indicative with Queen. Control and narcissism is a part of Queen. Here's more information on Waif, Hermit, Queen and Witch.

Borderline Personality Disorder can manifest itself in mutliple ways. In her book, Understanding The Borderline Mother, Dr. Christine Lawson describes four role types which BPD is exemplified by:

~the Waif,

~the Hermit,

~the Queen, and

~the Witch.

The Queen is controlling, the Witch is sadistic, the Hermit is fearful, and the Waif is helpless.  Each requires a different approach. Don't let the Queen get the upper hand; be wary even of accepting gifts because it engenders expectations. Don't internalize the Hermit's fears or become limited by them. Don't allow yourself to be alone with the Witch; maintain distance for your own emotional and physical safety. And with the Waif, don't get pulled into her crises and sense of victimization; "pay attention to your own tendencies to want to rescue her, which just feeds the dynamic.

BPD BEHAVIORS: Waif, Hermit, Queen, and Witch

[ajr5679]

thank you so much for responding. i will look up queen.

[OutOfEgypt]

My ex could be all of these and switch between them in a moment.

Keep up with your T.  It does help.  That "repetition compulsion" and need to punish ourselves keeps us finding these bad relationships and situations, but it can be overcome and worked through.