BPD Chat

[kellygirl601]

Does anyone know of a chat room for parents of adult children with BPD?  I have no one to talk to about the day to day stuff. My daughter is now 21 and I've all but given up. I recently found out that her behaviors are so much worse than I though and I am devasted. It is so hard to function with all of this going on. My therapist said it's ok to be sad but you don't have to live a sad life. I know what she means but it's not working for me. I can't be anything but sad when I know how my daughter is living her life.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[madmom]

Kellygirl---I know exactly how your are feeling, the past four years have been really rough for me also.  Like you, I keep finding out more and more that distresses me about my daughter.  Just when I think there is a little hope, I am crushed again.  I have found this site to be extremely helpful, and am working on using the tools and resources I have found here and my life is the better for it.  I don't have any good advice, just know that you are not alone.  I am sorry for your pain and lost dreams.

[kellygirl601]

Thank you so much. I am desperately trying to get her residential treatment. I hit one brick wall after another. I always felt like if I only had the money to send her to a really good facility. Then I see famous people who have the money to go anywhere they want yet they still did not recover... .   I can't live my life knowing what's going on with her. I don't have friends to discuss it with. Those that do know me are tired of it I can tell.

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, kellygirl601... .How are things going today? Are you feeling any better? Does your daughter have any professionals in her life treating her who might be able to give you guidance on RTCs? Does she have any Insurance at all to cover it?

I'm curious what resources you have access to, and what you've been told?

I'm sorry your daughter has proven to be more troubled than you had thought; what has happened lately to make things so difficult for you?

I don't know of any BPD Chat Rooms, but we are here 24/7, and would like to help. Tell us more about your situation, so we can listen 

[kellygirl601]

Rapt Reader -

Where do I start?  It seems like my daughter always had issues, I just thought she was different from her older sister.  In 4th grade she really struggled emotionally and I found something that treats children.  In 6th grade it had gotten so bad I let her take antidepressants.  In 9th grade she had her first hospitalization.  It has been hell for her since then and we are right there along for the ride.  She has had over 20 hospitalizations.  She has tried to do so many things, jobs, college, hair school etc. and is not able to do them.  When she was med compliant, I feel it was better.  While in hair school she moved out with friends and just forgot to take meds and then just didn't take them.  She has been on SSI.  She is back home and we finally got her back to her old psychiatrist that she like and did the best with.  He had left the group and couldn't take patients with him.  My therapist is with the same group and knowing what I was going through, she told me where to find him 

She just saw him this week and is back on a med regimen.  YAY!

[Rapt Reader]

Thanks for filling in the blanks, kellygirl601 

Your story sounds so much like many of the others on this Board, and you are probably already finding some comfort and insights by reading the other threads over here... .

You say that she has been on SSI; is she still covered? If so, wouldn't it cover some sort of Residential Treatment Center, or even a Dual Diagnosis Center/Program? If she has mental health issues combined with some other co-morbid diagnosis (Suicidal Ideations, Substance Abuse/Addiction, Social Anxiety, ADD, OCD, etc.), then a Dual Diagnosis Program would prove beneficial. Something like that treats the mental health issues as a priority, and the negative behaviors as co-morbid.

After 2 hospitalizations in a Psyche Ward for Suicidal Ideations, and 2 stays in a "normal" Rehab for a Heroin Addiction, my own BPD son (37) was finally admitted to a Dual Diagnosis Program where he was diagnosed with BPD, early last year. He is covered by SSD (Social Security Disability), not SSI, but it is still part of Medicaid and it covered his 21-day stay at the DDx Program, besides all of his other stays at Psyche Wards and Rehabs prior to that.

Now, he's 18 months clean and sober (yaaaay!), and in recovery from all of his many diagnoses and attending ongoing treatments. It amazes me how the proper diagnoses and treatments (and the information here regarding the communication tools and techniques, and my learning and consistently using them) can make such a difference in someone's life!

I'm so happy to hear that you found the right Therapist, and that she's getting back on the meds that are helping her. My own son is on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds (and a thyroid med for a Hyperactive Thyroid that was diagnosed at age 20), and without them he does have a hard time just being alive. I'm not sure if a DDx Program would be recommended for your daughter, but maybe it could be discussed with her Therapist if she needs further help or treatment? Does her Therapist use DBT in her treatment? My son found that to be integral to his recovery and understanding of his troubles... .