Brief history

[golden]

I have an adult son whom I believe has BPD.  Tests have confirmed that he has depression, ocd, and anxiety.  His previous primary doctor believes he has BPD but there has never been an official diagnosis.  He blames everything that is wrong is his life on his parents.  Sure we have made mistakes but he chooses to focus on negative aspects of his childhood and is becoming more angry each time he brings up the subject.  He has been suffering from his symptoms for at least 15 years but in the last 3 years the anger has heightened.  I am going to a therapist and her advise has helped me cope.  I still struggle with his demands and his threats of behavior.  He expects  me to be on call 24/7  and when he can't reach me he gets  highly aggitated.  He is a grown adult not living at home but supported by his parents.  He struggles socially and has only a few friends.  I know he gets lonely but he also rejects my suggestions.  I have been reading "I Hate You-Don't Leave Me  and it has really enlightened me about the behaviors that are apparent with BPD.  I have found many characteristics that are displayed in the behavior of my son and am following the SET communication.  It is so hard emotionally for me.  I would love some support!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[sparrowfarfrom home]

Welcome, golden

You will find support here. I have not been a member long, but everyone here is like the family member you wish you had growing up. Someone to help you up on your feet.  You don't need to explain BPD to anyone here... .we all get it! Not like friends and acquaintances who may not have a clue.

So, join the crowd. Happy to have you here!

[NorthernGirl]

Hello golden and 

I'm am sorry you have had to deal with your son's demands and blaming. I'm sure this has caused a fair amount of drama, heartbreak and guilt. When a child (even an adult child) suffers from BPD, it affects everyone who loves the child. But you've come to the right place for help!

As you read the information here you'll see that there are things you can do. A great place to start is by reading this: What can a parent do?. I also suggest you go to the discussion board: Parenting a Son or Daughter Suffering from BPD board to join with other members who understand what you are going through. As sparrowfarfrom home says, you don't have to explain much here; people will just "get it".

What are some of the behaviours that have you suspecting he is BPD? Have you noticed a difference since you started using SET communications?

Welcome again and please keep posting so we know how we can help.