if FORCED to communicate, how to act?

[Infern0]

There are some unresolved issues which may cause a face to face to occur.  I'm also suspect she will use this as an attempt to recycle.

I cannot get out of this meeting.  I don't want to be rude or set her off.  I've been told that acting like you have no emotion and dealing only in facts is the best attack. 

What to do?

[Rise]

In my experience the biggest thing is making sure you stay focused on your business. You're there for a purpose, and reengaging with her isn't it. Stick to your business. If she tries to engage, just politely redirect back to the purpose at hand. "I'm glad you're doing well, but right now I'd really like to focus on _____." Get in, stay focused, get out. That's your goal.

Also, don't focus on her. Things are going to be much more stressful if you're constantly worried about setting her off. Don't be rude or go out of your way to provoke her. Be a decent human. But if she doesn't like that you don't want to engage on a personal level, and chooses to go off, that's on her. It's not your responsibility to make sure she feels okay.

Be aware that on the chance that she does disregulate, or absolutely refuses to deal with what you need to deal with, you DON'T have to deal with it. You and your well being come first. You can always leave and try again later.

I know it can seem scary, but you're a stronger person now. You can deal with it. Seeing someone face to face in no way means you have to engage. This is in your control.

[goldylamont]

i just have a general rule that i won't initiate any contact with my ex whatsoever. and i would respond to her accordingly if she chose to talk to me first. if she was cordial, i would reflect this with detachment. if she was negative, i would deflect and try and defuse, then give space (not necessarily leave). each situation is different, but at least with my ex she is egotistical enough so her play is to act like she's the happiest most balanced person ever. i ran into her recently and she introduced herself to everyone and completely ignored me, i ignored her and things were fine. i'm dead set on not playing into her games so i'll avoid a conflict simply by giving no reason for one to occur. and if she were to step way out of line where it was obvious i feel confident i could put her in her place without getting too riled up. one thing to keep in mind is that for people other than you or her, it's really not a big deal. they don't really care much at all they have their own problems. so what may feel overly weird or anxious for you isn't such a big deal for anyone else. rehearse ignoring her. rehearse a cool and calm response if she forces you to engage. be cool, like the Fonz 

[Mutt]

What's the back story Infern0? Why do you have to meet with her? Is it something to do with work or legal matters?