Do not break NC. Here's another example.

[blissful_camper]

I'm 14 months out of my r/s.  My ex contacted me recently, and I felt that I was in a place where I could speak with him.  Our conversations were pleasant, and real, and we just sort of caught up.  He expressed that he enjoyed our talks.  Neither of us brought up romantic reconciliation (I don't want that), but we discussed keeping in touch and we both agreed that we'd like that.   

He was out of town recently, and the last time that we spoke, he said he would contact me yesterday or today at the latest.  Late this afternoon, I sent him a quick email that simply said that I hoped he had arrived home safely.  The email he sent back was this:  "Yes I did... .please have no further contact with me via telephone or emails. Thank you"

Can somebody explain this to me?  (I have no idea what transpired between our pleasant conversation last week, and this email)

Initially I was hurt.  When I sat with that, I realized that it wasn't so much about him, though.  The hurt was along the lines of how can anyone treat another person this way?  I've learned a valuable lesson.  Stay NC, and don't let them back into your life. 

[Infared]

I am going to guess that he has new supply.  Last time he contacted you was on his terms and perhaps he did not think about the repercussions  of YOU getting in touch with HIM? It must be awkward for him to have you making contact. He had complete control when he contacted you and he got what he wanted. PwBPD are very controlling and extremely self-centered. One thing you can be sure of... .he is not losing any sleep over worrying about your feelings!

[blissful_camper]

I am going to guess that he has new supply.  Last time he contacted you was on his terms and perhaps he did not think about the repercussions  of YOU getting in touch with HIM? It must be awkward for him to have you making contact. He had complete control when he contacted you and he got what he wanted. PwBPD are very controlling and extremely self-centered. One thing you can be sure of... .he is not losing any sleep over worrying about your feelings!

I'm guessing you're right about supply.   There was a replacement, of course, but I didn't ask about that area of his life during our recent conversations.  Perhaps they'd had a falling out, or he was in between supply.  I have no idea.  I wasn't interested in discussing that with him.  Yes, I agree.  It was a control thing, and no, he's not worried about my feelings.  He's not worried about anyone's feelings, but his own.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hey Bliss-

To me what you got was confirmation that someone with a personality disorder is unreliable, incapable of considering your feelings, and incapable of perceiving the effect his actions have on you.  Best to just leave that chaos to its implosion and get on with your own bliss, starting with making the interaction confirmation of what you already knew and nothing else.  Take care of you!

[blissful_camper]

Hey Bliss-

To me what you got was confirmation that someone with a personality disorder is unreliable, incapable of considering your feelings, and incapable of perceiving the effect his actions have on you.  Best to just leave that chaos to its implosion and get on with your own bliss, starting with making the interaction confirmation of what you already knew and nothing else.  Take care of you!

Yes, you're so right.  Thank you for this.   

[drummerboy]

Thanks for posting this bliss. I'm sorry that another human could treat you so horribly and hope that you don't let it get you down

I've been wondering what I'd do if my ex contacted me and your post just confirms to me that I should totally ignore any contact.

They are so self absorbed its scary

Hugs to you

[blissful_camper]

Thanks for posting this bliss. I'm sorry that another human could treat you so horribly and hope that you don't let it get you down

I've been wondering what I'd do if my ex contacted me and your post just confirms to me that I should totally ignore any contact.

They are so self absorbed its scary

Hugs to you

Thanks Bauie!  It's so not worth it.  What kinda has me upset this evening, is that it's so easy to leave things on a pleasant note.  It feels good to be kind to others.  That cold, callous behavior is something that I've never completely understood.  And I'm glad that I don't.  Thanks for your kind words.

[AG]

Thanks for posting this bliss. I'm sorry that another human could treat you so horribly and hope that you don't let it get you down

I've been wondering what I'd do if my ex contacted me and your post just confirms to me that I should totally ignore any contact.

They are so self absorbed its scary

Hugs to you

Thanks Bauie!  It's so not worth it.  What kinda has me upset this evening, is that it's so easy to leave things on a pleasant note.  It feels good to be kind to others.  That cold, callous behavior is something that I've never completely understood.  And I'm glad that I don't.  Thanks for your kind words.

Same thing happened to me I got some half ass apology about things that transpired and then the next day I was raged at and told off to say the least. I even said thru the email exchange ok well can you please stop calling from random application made phone numbers becuz i can tell its you. She then said I was a stalker for figuring out it was her calling me and hanging up over and over again. Dont regret the contact sometimes we need a swift metaphorical kick in the tail as a reminder of who they really are. I know when it happened to me I was like what the heck then shortly after I was saying to myself oh now I remember u. Your the same raging lunatic in victims clothing. You just needed a quick reminder that they are exactly who they are and have not changed. Its sad to say but I had lots of hope but I honestly dont think there is much hope for them only for us. It is what it is.

[drummerboy]

I get it that they have a serious mental illness, but its not like they don't know how to act like a human being, they are experts at that in the idealisation stage.

Yes, it is so easy for normal humans to leave on a pleasant note. All my ex needed to say is something like "I really can't come to terms with our age difference but I've enjoyed our time together" But she went from total adoration to ST/NC in a matter of days. Yep, their callous behaviour is unfathomable especially because you know they can act nicely when it suits them. This is where we get the idea that they know exactly what they are doing, as if they aim to inflict maximum pain.

Thanks to everyone here, but especially Rifka, it's all about me now, me getting over it, me getting better, me learning about myself, me becoming a better person. That's what we need to dwell on, not on these sad people.

Thanks for posting this bliss. I'm sorry that another human could treat you so horribly and hope that you don't let it get you down

I've been wondering what I'd do if my ex contacted me and your post just confirms to me that I should totally ignore any contact.

They are so self absorbed its scary

Hugs to you

Thanks Bauie!  It's so not worth it.  What kinda has me upset this evening, is that it's so easy to leave things on a pleasant note.  It feels good to be kind to others.  That cold, callous behavior is something that I've never completely understood.  And I'm glad that I don't.  Thanks for your kind words.

[Infared]

Hey Bliss-

To me what you got was confirmation that someone with a personality disorder is unreliable, incapable of considering your feelings, and incapable of perceiving the effect his actions have on you.  Best to just leave that chaos to its implosion and get on with your own bliss, starting with making the interaction confirmation of what you already knew and nothing else.  Take care of you!

+1000

That is really seeing things clearly. For me it was so painful to get healthier and then to repeatedly see these truths... .but in seeing the reality of how this person was acting it allowed me to take actions that were helpful for my own well being. Tough stuff because of the deep feelings that I had developed during the idealization phase for my unhealthy partner... It was so hard to put those feelings aside, see the truth and take actions that showed that I love me.

It's confusing and painful, Blissfulcamper. At first it seems counter-intuitive... .but slowly we realize that we are saving ourselves.

[Infern0]

As you can see from my thread, I also had NC broken today. I no longer feel any sadness or sorrow at the hateful words she aims at me. Instead I feel a horrible anger and rage at her. I realize this is not healthy either,  and am going to work on that.

[Infared]

As you can see from my thread, I also had NC broken today. I no longer feel any sadness or sorrow at the hateful words she aims at me. Instead I feel a horrible anger and rage at her. I realize this is not healthy either,  and am going to work on that.

Inferno, that anger is healthy... .many people use that anger to take revenge, or/and get into all kinds of sick interactions with the pwBPD... .and many of us direct that anger on ourselves directly or in the form of depression. None of us do this perfectly and at times we do all of the above... .but if we direct that angry energy  into finding ways to help ourselves see our part in the unhealthy dance we were in with our partner and to get away from the pwBPD... we can find our way out of the fog, learn about ourselves and get better and whole again. it is a journey of self-love and a little (or a lot LOL!) of anger can be a great way to jump start our journey. It's all how we direct it! 

[Infern0]

As you can see from my thread, I also had NC broken today. I no longer feel any sadness or sorrow at the hateful words she aims at me. Instead I feel a horrible anger and rage at her. I realize this is not healthy either,  and am going to work on that.

Inferno, that anger is healthy... .many people use that anger to take revenge, or/and get into all kinds of sick interactions with the pwBPD... .and many of us direct that anger on ourselves directly or in the form of depression. None of us do this perfectly and at times we do all of the above... .but if we direct that angry energy  into finding ways to help ourselves see our part in the unhealthy dance we were in with our partner and to get away from the pwBPD... we can find our way out of the fog, learn about ourselves and get better and whole again. it is a journey of self-love and a little (or a lot LOL!) of anger can be a great way to jump start our journey. It's all how we direct it!  

I didn't reply to her BS,  I can take some comfort in that, I also saw through her gaslighting and manipulation attempts. I did not attempt to explain or plead, I did not give her the dignity of a response.  I am out of fog and thankful for it

[Infared]

As you can see from my thread, I also had NC broken today. I no longer feel any sadness or sorrow at the hateful words she aims at me. Instead I feel a horrible anger and rage at her. I realize this is not healthy either,  and am going to work on that.

Inferno, that anger is healthy... .many people use that anger to take revenge, or/and get into all kinds of sick interactions with the pwBPD... .and many of us direct that anger on ourselves directly or in the form of depression. None of us do this perfectly and at times we do all of the above... .but if we direct that angry energy  into finding ways to help ourselves see our part in the unhealthy dance we were in with our partner and to get away from the pwBPD... we can find our way out of the fog, learn about ourselves and get better and whole again. it is a journey of self-love and a little (or a lot LOL!) of anger can be a great way to jump start our journey. It's all how we direct it!  

I didn't reply to her BS,  I can take some comfort in that, I also saw through her gaslighting and manipulation attempts. I did not attempt to explain or plead, I did not give her the dignity of a response.  I am out of fog and thankful for it

I also found that one of the few things that I had to hold onto was the fact that "I" had acted like an adult with dignity and love... .At times I felt almost stupid for not raging back... .but in the end it allowed me to love me for the way that I behaved, it built self-esteem and helped me move forward. Thank God for that! There wasn't much else to hold onto there for a while.

I identify with your feelings.

[Lion Fire]

thank you for posting this blissful_camper.

I am sorry that you have to feel this discomfort and confusion but I am grateful for the reminder of what will happen should I break NC. This message confirms that my strictly NC policy is the only way for me.

I am under no illusions as to what will happen should I succumb to her patient pressure to reconnect. I know I WILL get sucked in and then tossed around, manipulated, pushed, pulled and then devalued and discarded. That's how she operates.

I'm 78 days NC, a day at a time thank God.

[topknot]

Blissful camper, that has happened to me as well. I filled the "lonesome" spot at that moment,  but then something else came along to break the promise, in your case, calling.  Mine couldn't keep his word - he bummed money from everyone he knew,  promised with assurance he would pay back next week, never paid anyone. I would get theater tickets - would invariably pick a fight, no concern over sticking me with expensive tickets.Before we lived together,  if he said we would get together and some new babe came along, I got cancelled.  Caught him red handed on that one. When it was time to do something he promised me, it was "Oh, honey, I just don't feel like doing that now - would you mind?" (Charming smile and sweet voice) They have no moral compass whatsoever. I always remember when his ex-wife left him, she told him, you are SUCH a piece of s#$t. And now I see why... .

[blissful_camper]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and support.  I feel like an idiot for engaging with him.  I'm more upset with myself, than I am with him.   

[Infared]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and support.  I feel like an idiot for engaging with him.  I'm more upset with myself, than I am with him.  

NOW YOUR ARE TALKIN!      

You loving you is a wonderful thing.

[amigo]

Thank you for this post, and everyone's wise words of reply.

I am contemplating breaking NC, it's his birthday tomorrow and I so want to wish him well, and also I feel like I want that reminder of who he really is, because some days my fantasy version of him persists in my head.

I haven't decided what to do yet, but reading all this prepares me for whatever will happen if I break NC. Thank you BPD family 

[drummerboy]

Don't beat yourself up, we are human, we make mistakes. Your text was sent out of love and kindness because you are a good person, yes it was a mistake but being a kind person is something to celebrate!

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and support.  I feel like an idiot for engaging with him.  I'm more upset with myself, than I am with him.   

[blissful_camper]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and support.  I feel like an idiot for engaging with him.  I'm more upset with myself, than I am with him.  

NOW YOUR ARE TALKIN!      

You loving you is a wonderful thing.

Haha!  I hadn't thought of looking at it that way.  Yay!   You made me smile, and now I'm embracing being upset with myself.  Thank you... .

[blissful_camper]

Don't beat yourself up, we are human, we make mistakes. Your text was sent out of love and kindness because you are a good person, yes it was a mistake but being a kind person is something to celebrate!

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies, and support.  I feel like an idiot for engaging with him.  I'm more upset with myself, than I am with him.   

Thank you for reminding me of that.  I'm no longer accustomed to being treated badly.  On some level, I got used to that in the r/s, and came to expect it.   And now, having been away from it for over a year, it's pretty foreign to me to have someone verbally smack me for showing kindness.  I did something kind for myself today.  I got a new cellphone, with a brand new number.   

[willy45]

You may not see it and it certainly wasn't his intention, but he did you a huge favor. He probably reached out because stuff is not going well with current gf and she likely found out and hence the email.

And good for you for staying clear of romantic talk. That stuff is ridiculous.

You did good!

[blissful_camper]

You may not see it and it certainly wasn't his intention, but he did you a huge favor. He probably reached out because stuff is not going well with current gf and she likely found out and hence the email.

And good for you for staying clear of romantic talk. That stuff is ridiculous.

You did good!

I'm sure seeing it now.  Yes, you are so right, that he did me a huge favor.  I'm truly embracing that today. 

Your take on his actions (why he got in touch, and the email) is what my mother suggested as well.  My mother said to be very glad that I extricated myself, and no longer have to deal with the toxic environment he creates. 

Thank you for validating that I did good.  That means a lot to me.  I can't wait to get my new phone #.  On a symbolic level, it closes the door and will provide peace of mind. Bliss is moving toward the bliss.  I'm ready for it.   

[Caredverymuch]

I'm 14 months out of my r/s.  My ex contacted me recently, and I felt that I was in a place where I could speak with him.  Our conversations were pleasant, and real, and we just sort of caught up.  He expressed that he enjoyed our talks.  Neither of us brought up romantic reconciliation (I don't want that), but we discussed keeping in touch and we both agreed that we'd like that.   

He was out of town recently, and the last time that we spoke, he said he would contact me yesterday or today at the latest.  Late this afternoon, I sent him a quick email that simply said that I hoped he had arrived home safely.  The email he sent back was this:  "Yes I did... .please have no further contact with me via telephone or emails. Thank you"

Can somebody explain this to me?  (I have no idea what transpired between our pleasant conversation last week, and this email)

Initially I was hurt.  When I sat with that, I realized that it wasn't so much about him, though.  The hurt was along the lines of how can anyone treat another person this way?  I've learned a valuable lesson.  Stay NC, and don't let them back into your life. 

Im sorry your adult kindness was met with such,  blissC.  Your post is helping a lot of people here as a result.

The SAME EXACT thing happened to me. Had been long into NC. I was still hurting but getting further along. He did a purposeful ( deemed coincidental) baiting. We spoke. Caught up. He was wonderful. Just so sweet.  It was so reassuring to me. I felt like so much could make sense. We parted.  Both agreed how nice it would be to remain in one another's lives in this mature way. How wonderful it felt to talk again.

We made plans for the next day. I slept like a log and awoke so happily. I had just started a new job and took the next day off. He knew this.  He never called or contacted me.

I was confused as we made plans. I took the day off. When I made contact finally, he was a self serving stranger, acted as if he barely knew me while occupying himself with mundane tasks and said he'd rather I not be in his life again.

ZERO remorse that I had taken time off from my new job while he then mentioned how he felt that he had a cold coming on. I stood there absolutely stunned.

Less than 24 hr prior, I thought I reunited casually with  the man  I used to know.  But, it was really the controlling game player that I met once again.

The man I thought I knew was not real.

I am real. All the time.

The man who did this to me for no kind reason. But personal gain while hurting another.  Who is disordered and mentally ill.  Is the real man. 

Remember that my friends.

PLEASE DO NOT BREAK NC.   THESE PPL ARE INCREDIBLE MANIPULATORS. And they do not care about your feelings.

[blissful_camper]

I'm 14 months out of my r/s.  My ex contacted me recently, and I felt that I was in a place where I could speak with him.  Our conversations were pleasant, and real, and we just sort of caught up.  He expressed that he enjoyed our talks.  Neither of us brought up romantic reconciliation (I don't want that), but we discussed keeping in touch and we both agreed that we'd like that.   

He was out of town recently, and the last time that we spoke, he said he would contact me yesterday or today at the latest.  Late this afternoon, I sent him a quick email that simply said that I hoped he had arrived home safely.  The email he sent back was this:  "Yes I did... .please have no further contact with me via telephone or emails. Thank you"

Can somebody explain this to me?  (I have no idea what transpired between our pleasant conversation last week, and this email)

Initially I was hurt.  When I sat with that, I realized that it wasn't so much about him, though.  The hurt was along the lines of how can anyone treat another person this way?  I've learned a valuable lesson.  Stay NC, and don't let them back into your life. 

Im sorry your adult kindness was met with such,  blissC.  Your post is helping a lot of people here as a result.

The SAME EXACT thing happened to me. Had been long into NC. I was still hurting but getting further along. He did a purposeful ( deemed coincidental) baiting. We spoke. Caught up. He was wonderful. Just so sweet.  It was so reassuring to me. I felt like so much could make sense. We parted.  Both agreed how nice it would be to remain in one another's lives in this mature way. How wonderful it felt to talk again.

We made plans for the next day. I slept like a log and awoke so happily. I had just started a new job and took the next day off. He knew this.  He never called or contacted me.

I was confused as we made plans. I took the day off. When I made contact finally, he was a self serving stranger, acted as if he barely knew me while occupying himself with mundane tasks and said he'd rather I not be in his life again.

ZERO remorse that I had taken time off from my new job while he then mentioned how he felt that he had a cold coming on. I stood there absolutely stunned.

Less than 24 hr prior, I thought I reunited casually with  the man  I used to know.  But, it was really the controlling game player that I met once again.

The man I thought I knew was not real.

I am real. All the time.

The man who did this to me for no kind reason is the real man.

Remember that my friends.

PLEASE DO NOT BREAK NC.   THESE PPL ARE INCREDIBLE MANIPULATORS. And they do not care about your feelings.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Caredverymuch.  I'm sorry that you went through this too.  I'm feeling much better today.    Friends, if you're feeling tempted to break NC, please post to the forum for support.  I sure wish I had in place of accepting his call. 

[Caredverymuch]

I'm 14 months out of my r/s.  My ex contacted me recently, and I felt that I was in a place where I could speak with him.  Our conversations were pleasant, and real, and we just sort of caught up.  He expressed that he enjoyed our talks.  Neither of us brought up romantic reconciliation (I don't want that), but we discussed keeping in touch and we both agreed that we'd like that.   

He was out of town recently, and the last time that we spoke, he said he would contact me yesterday or today at the latest.  Late this afternoon, I sent him a quick email that simply said that I hoped he had arrived home safely.  The email he sent back was this:  "Yes I did... .please have no further contact with me via telephone or emails. Thank you"

Can somebody explain this to me?  (I have no idea what transpired between our pleasant conversation last week, and this email)

Initially I was hurt.  When I sat with that, I realized that it wasn't so much about him, though.  The hurt was along the lines of how can anyone treat another person this way?  I've learned a valuable lesson.  Stay NC, and don't let them back into your life. 

Im sorry your adult kindness was met with such,  blissC.  Your post is helping a lot of people here as a result.

The SAME EXACT thing happened to me. Had been long into NC. I was still hurting but getting further along. He did a purposeful ( deemed coincidental) baiting. We spoke. Caught up. He was wonderful. Just so sweet.  It was so reassuring to me. I felt like so much could make sense. We parted.  Both agreed how nice it would be to remain in one another's lives in this mature way. How wonderful it felt to talk again.

We made plans for the next day. I slept like a log and awoke so happily. I had just started a new job and took the next day off. He knew this.  He never called or contacted me.

I was confused as we made plans. I took the day off. When I made contact finally, he was a self serving stranger, acted as if he barely knew me while occupying himself with mundane tasks and said he'd rather I not be in his life again.

ZERO remorse that I had taken time off from my new job while he then mentioned how he felt that he had a cold coming on. I stood there absolutely stunned.

Less than 24 hr prior, I thought I reunited casually with  the man  I used to know.  But, it was really the controlling game player that I met once again.

The man I thought I knew was not real.

I am real. All the time.

The man who did this to me for no kind reason is the real man.

Remember that my friends.

PLEASE DO NOT BREAK NC.   THESE PPL ARE INCREDIBLE MANIPULATORS. And they do not care about your feelings.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Caredverymuch.  I'm sorry that you went through this too.  I'm feeling much better today.    Friends, if you're feeling tempted to break NC, please post to the forum for support.  I sure wish I had in place of accepting his call. 

BlissC, I was just thinking the very same. Before I found this community, I had such hope. That things would one day reverse. I had no idea about BPD. So none of this made logical sense to me.

I have said this before and I will say it again and  again.  I have  not found ONE example of breaking NC from members on this board that had a favorable outcome. Not one. I would have taken even one and believed I could perhaps have been two.  Had I found it.

And how many members are here on his board?

Going with the odds and educating myself is the only thing that has allowed me to stay strong against baitings or breaking NC.

The disorder always wins.

[toomanytears]

Hey Bliss-

To me what you got was confirmation that someone with a personality disorder is unreliable, incapable of considering your feelings, and incapable of perceiving the effect his actions have on you.  Best to just leave that chaos to its implosion and get on with your own bliss, starting with making the interaction confirmation of what you already knew and nothing else.  Take care of you!

+1000

That is really seeing things clearly. For me it was so painful to get healthier and then to repeatedly see these truths... .but in seeing the reality of how this person was acting it allowed me to take actions that were helpful for my own well being. Tough stuff because of the deep feelings that I had developed during the idealization phase for my unhealthy partner... It was so hard to put those feelings aside, see the truth and take actions that showed that I love me.

It's confusing and painful, Blissfulcamper. At first it seems counter-intuitive... .but slowly we realize that we are saving ourselves.

I opened the lid to a Pandora's box when I sent my stbx BPDh a birthday card. I realise now that I sent him a very confusing message and I should have left well alone. It is so hard because he was my rock and when times are tough I really need the feeling I had when he was supportive. I find it impossible to believe he doesn't care for me anymore but actions speak louder than words... .NC is the only way - no room for guesswork... .

[blissful_camper]

Hey Bliss-

To me what you got was confirmation that someone with a personality disorder is unreliable, incapable of considering your feelings, and incapable of perceiving the effect his actions have on you.  Best to just leave that chaos to its implosion and get on with your own bliss, starting with making the interaction confirmation of what you already knew and nothing else.  Take care of you!

+1000

That is really seeing things clearly. For me it was so painful to get healthier and then to repeatedly see these truths... .but in seeing the reality of how this person was acting it allowed me to take actions that were helpful for my own well being. Tough stuff because of the deep feelings that I had developed during the idealization phase for my unhealthy partner... It was so hard to put those feelings aside, see the truth and take actions that showed that I love me.

It's confusing and painful, Blissfulcamper. At first it seems counter-intuitive... .but slowly we realize that we are saving ourselves.

I opened the lid to a Pandora's box when I sent my stbx BPDh a birthday card. I realise now that I sent him a very confusing message and I should have left well alone. It is so hard because he was my rock and when times are tough I really need the feeling I had when he was supportive. I find it impossible to believe he doesn't care for me anymore but actions speak louder than words... .NC is the only way - no room for guesswork... .

It's okay.  As a member offered me, you did so with love and kindness.  That's a beautiful thing.  You're a kind and loving person. 

It's interesting that you mention the rock thing.  I felt he was my rock too.  But it sounds like my ex's support differed from the support you received from your ex.  My ex's support was intense (he was right there with me) but only for things that were superficial. (I could have handled those things alone) He was not available for the heavier stuff that we all face in life.  (I handled those things alone)

We are our greatest support system.  We're our own best friend.     

[Split black]

I get it that they have a serious mental illness, but its not like they don't know how to act like a human being, they are experts at that in the idealisation stage.

Yes, it is so easy for normal humans to leave on a pleasant note. All my ex needed to say is something like "I really can't come to terms with our age difference but I've enjoyed our time together" But she went from total adoration to ST/NC in a matter of days. Yep, their callous behaviour is unfathomable especially because you know they can act nicely when it suits them. This is where we get the idea that they know exactly what they are doing, as if they aim to inflict maximum pain.

So very true... .Im much older then mine... .   I moved away last month, after over a year and endless recycling's.  She said... ." I love you now that you are gone"  "Im sorry for everything forgive me" "I miss you" "Thank you for all your help"

All these things texted and said after a weekend of sex ( she needed money )  So I called her a week later because things ended on such a sweet note... .what I got was... .   If you come back I dont want to see you ... .you are too stressful.  I forwarded her texts... .she said why are you sending me old texts... I DONT miss you. BYE! 

That last contact was 3 weeks ago or so. Unfortunately I have to back to NY for a week... and Im dreading it. Like the vile of heroin is there waiting... .and I need to not call. ugh.