What has made you whole?

[workinprogress]

While I have been researching different subjects on personal strength, I have come across some articles that say being "whole" is more important than being happy.

Being whole may be a bit of a vague concept, but I can relate to it.

Suddenly tonight, I had a recollection of reading that article.  It's interesting in the fact that it didn't have much of an impact on me when I read it.  It was later while I was alone driving, listening to some metal, and feeling a bit strong that it flashed upon me.

I started recalling times of my life when I felt "whole."

For me, the times that I felt whole were when I felt "in touch" with myself.  When I found myself lost in a task and had the feeling that I was satisfied internally.

The times for me when I felt most whole was when I was competing.  Whether it be in sports or sales.  I also recall feeling whole while jogging in my youth.

The last time I felt truly whole was while jogging while in college.  At that time I still held on to my dreams of breaking out of my little town.  I never wanted to attend college, but I did it to appease my parents.  The quality of my spiritual life has declined since.  I have had flashes of wholeness during my sales career.  But nothing like when I was younger.

I think I gave too much of myself away in life.

Now, when I say I felt most whole was while I was competing in sports, I mean that I was a FIERCE competitor.  I didn't cheat or give cheap shots, but I hit hard in football and basketball.  I lost myself in the sport.  At times I just had an awareness about me.  I could sense what was going to happen and correctly anticipate an opponent's next move.

Due to the hard hits I put on opponents I was ejected out of a game once and gotten several warnings from officials.  I did not do this deliberately.  I just became a different person while competing.

In fact, after one high school football game a player from the other team walked up to me, shook my hand, and told me that I delivered a great hit on him.  He told me that his coach suspected that I broke his ribs.  I promptly apologized to him, but he seemed to be proud to be the recipient of such a hit.  .

Other times I felt complete when I was younger was when I was researching words and the origins of words.  I loved their meanings and their roots.  I had an old Oxford Dictionary.  I could read it for hours.  The words came to life for me.

Working out has made me feel alive and whole.

Lastly, my job in sales has satisfied my competitive nature.  I could easily work 12 hours a day and be ready to head back out.  I loved it.  I have actually had competitors approach me (from bigger stronger companies) and try to call a truce with me because I had gained so much ground on them. 

 

I know, at my core I am odd.    Which I can accept and love about myself now.

So, what has made you "whole" in life?

[Blimblam]

Becoming whole has been explored in depth psychology and quite a bit in the jungian traditions of psychology.  It is not a new concept and was the esoteric part of alchemy. Essentially it is an inward journey.  Alchemy describes it as lead which sink to the bottom of the unconcious mind and transforming it into gold.  Basically the ego decends into the unconcious mind.  The first layer being the shadow which is the unconcious reflection of the concious awareness. Then exploring the collective unconcious where universal archetypes exist. Facing ones own inner demons and making the transformation.  Underneath all of these layers is the true self.  

There is an archetype within the unconcious that is the trickster and this archetype will decieve you.  Beware of the trickster. The trickster is a shape shifter and takes many forms.  The process of individuation is one of great suffering. It is worth it though.

The trickster is all around you. He takes many forms in our everyday lives.  Essentially we are for the most part oblivious. 

[Perfidy]

Good morning WIP, hope you are well and have a glorious day in front of you. As is the nature of wholeness in term as of human existence, we are whole upon birth. We are whole and complete. We need nothing to complete us. We loose touch with our wholeness as we develop desire and hatred through our ignorance. We develop unrealistic fantasy and illusion through our hatred and desire born out of lack of understanding the true nature of our self. Peace and kindness to you my friend.

[Changingman]

I love these posts, wow Blimblam you are doing some deep reading. What are you reading?

[heartandwhole]

Hi workinprogress,

What a great question and reflection, thanks for sharing what makes you feel whole. I resonate with the statement that being whole is more important than feeling happy.  For me, happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, being whole is a fact of my true nature.  In other words I am whole and always have been. 

But, in this world of "me" and "not-me," there are some times when I feel my wholeness very strongly. For example, when I have unstructured time – time to explore whatever strikes my fancy, time to breathe, reflect, do yoga, write, or dance around like a teenager.  Time in nature and with animals, too. I can feel very whole spending time with friends and family, but it seems being alone is often a trigger for me to feel that abundance of peace and well-being (then I like to reach out to others from that sense of wholeness).

Like you, these are times when I feel in touch with myself... .but a "deeper" self, one that is always present, but not shouting for attention, either.  Just being and embracing whatever comes.  Welcoming the "me" when I pay attention.

I'd love to hear more about your feeling whole while competing.  Did you feel in a kind of "zone" where you were acting with 100% of your capacity and talent?  Or maybe something else?

heartandwhole

[workinprogress]

Hi workinprogress,

What a great question and reflection, thanks for sharing what makes you feel whole. I resonate with the statement that being whole is more important than feeling happy.  For me, happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, being whole is a fact of my true nature.  In other words I am whole and always have been. 

But, in this world of "me" and "not-me," there are some times when I feel my wholeness very strongly. For example, when I have unstructured time – time to explore whatever strikes my fancy, time to breathe, reflect, do yoga, write, or dance around like a teenager.  Time in nature and with animals, too. I can feel very whole spending time with friends and family, but it seems being alone is often a trigger for me to feel that abundance of peace and well-being (then I like to reach out to others from that sense of wholeness).

Like you, these are times when I feel in touch with myself... .but a "deeper" self, one that is always present, but not shouting for attention, either.  Just being and embracing whatever comes.  Welcoming the "me" when I pay attention.

I'd love to hear more about your feeling whole while competing.  Did you feel in a kind of "zone" where you were acting with 100% of your capacity and talent?  Or maybe something else?

heartandwhole

Hi Heartandwhole, yes, I'd have to say I did get into the "zone."  It's weird, it's almost like you are observing yourself while your body or instinct take over.

I had a former bball coach tell one of my friends that I could dominate a game if I wanted to.

I would most often get into the zone while jogging.

Also, sometimes from reading I would get into the zone.  Especially when reading the Bible, it was like it came to life to me and became a living, breathing book.

Anyway, I'm really curious as to what other people did that impacted their wholeness.

[Blimblam]

Changing man,

I just did a yahoo search of depth psychology + alchemy + Carl Jung.  To be honest the reading is suplementary. Also I listened to a manly p hall speech on YouTube about Gnosticism, hermetic ism, and Neoplatonism.

None of that is necessary as a prequisite. If you watch movies you have probably seen the concepts over and over. They hit you on a subconscious level. Stanly kubrik, Christopher Nolan, and rifdley Scott. Watch their movies. Where it mainly comes from is meditation for me. I go to a quiet space. I often listen to a perfect circle or radiohead, I recommend the songs a stranger and exit music. and I just focus on the physical sensations in my chest and gut and I end up closing my eyes.  I lay down and get comfortable while I do it. I don't focus on my breath and I do not focus on being present in the moment.  The focus is typically at first the music which activates an emotional response then feelin the somatic sensations of it as the focus.  The somatic sensations are unpleasant and accepting them as a part of the moment is the struggle.

Look within and see for yourself.

[Moselle]

While I have been researching different subjects on personal strength, I have come across some articles that say being "whole" is more important than being happy.

Being whole may be a bit of a vague concept, but I can relate to it.

Suddenly tonight, I had a recollection of reading that article.  It's interesting in the fact that it didn't have much of an impact on me when I read it.  It was later while I was alone driving, listening to some metal, and feeling a bit strong that it flashed upon me.

I started recalling times of my life when I felt "whole."

For me, the times that I felt whole were when I felt "in touch" with myself.  When I found myself lost in a task and had the feeling that I was satisfied internally.

The times for me when I felt most whole was when I was competing.  Whether it be in sports or sales.  I also recall feeling whole while jogging in my youth.

The last time I felt truly whole was while jogging while in college.  At that time I still held on to my dreams of breaking out of my little town.  I never wanted to attend college, but I did it to appease my parents.  The quality of my spiritual life has declined since.  I have had flashes of wholeness during my sales career.  But nothing like when I was younger.

I think I gave too much of myself away in life.

Now, when I say I felt most whole was while I was competing in sports, I mean that I was a FIERCE competitor.  I didn't cheat or give cheap shots, but I hit hard in football and basketball.  I lost myself in the sport.  At times I just had an awareness about me.  I could sense what was going to happen and correctly anticipate an opponent's next move.

Due to the hard hits I put on opponents I was ejected out of a game once and gotten several warnings from officials.  I did not do this deliberately.  I just became a different person while competing.

In fact, after one high school football game a player from the other team walked up to me, shook my hand, and told me that I delivered a great hit on him.  He told me that his coach suspected that I broke his ribs.  I promptly apologized to him, but he seemed to be proud to be the recipient of such a hit.  .

Other times I felt complete when I was younger was when I was researching words and the origins of words.  I loved their meanings and their roots.  I had an old Oxford Dictionary.  I could read it for hours.  The words came to life for me.

Working out has made me feel alive and whole.

Lastly, my job in sales has satisfied my competitive nature.  I could easily work 12 hours a day and be ready to head back out.  I loved it.  I have actually had competitors approach me (from bigger stronger companies) and try to call a truce with me because I had gained so much ground on them. 

 

I know, at my core I am odd.    Which I can accept and love about myself now.

So, what has made you "whole" in life?

Thanks for posting! This is a great question, and perfect timing for me at the moment, as I try to connect/engage with myself after a 14 marriage to my BPD NPD wife.

I realise that I have chosen to twist, and contort to the delusional feedback delivered by a person with serious mental disorders.

What has made me whole or feel whole?

Being a change agent. Fully engaged in a worthy activity, often fixing something that is broken. A bankrupt company, an organisation that has become toxic etc.

A sustained, consistent, close relationship with God. And a recognition that I am his son. Also, a regular study of the scriptures makes me feel whole.

Being in a social environment, makes me feel whole. My intuition and perception feel totally engaged, when socialising, in a cohesive team, or negotiating my way through the dynamics of a group of people.

Leading makes me feel whole. Myself first and then others. Inspiring others and being inspired.

Feeling connected and close with my SO, makes me feel whole.

Contributing to something which is great, bigger than me, makes me feel whole.

[workinprogress]

I have found over the last couple of days that just by recalling these times it seems to help with the healing process.

Also, I have found reading other people's posts on this subject inspiring.

[Changingman]

Changing man,

I just did a yahoo search of depth psychology + alchemy + Carl Jung.  To be honest the reading is suplementary. Also I listened to a manly p hall speech on YouTube about Gnosticism, hermetic ism, and Neoplatonism.

None of that is necessary as a prequisite. If you watch movies you have probably seen the concepts over and over. They hit you on a subconscious level. Stanly kubrik, Christopher Nolan, and rifdley Scott. Watch their movies. Where it mainly comes from is meditation for me. I go to a quiet space. I often listen to a perfect circle or radiohead, I recommend the songs a stranger and exit music. and I just focus on the physical sensations in my chest and gut and I end up closing my eyes.  I lay down and get comfortable while I do it. I don't focus on my breath and I do not focus on being present in the moment.  The focus is typically at first the music which activates an emotional response then feelin the somatic sensations of it as the focus.  The somatic sensations are unpleasant and accepting them as a part of the moment is the struggle.

Look within and see for yourself.

Will do thanks