Working thirds

[dustrat]

Know this all to well the old walking on eggshells... .My BPD wife lost her job and  got a DUI during the last time she left without a reason and separated from me for 5 months and now we are back together.  Today I was picking her up from community service and trust me I work thirds get home at 830 am and take her to com service get our 3 year old off to school then pick her up... .And usually get 4-5 hours sleep and do it all over again.  Anyway I get her and after we got home I asked if she wanted a backrub and she said I know what your trying to do ... .You just want sex and yes she is at the push me away stage no sex no affection and if I do the normal thing and try to show her affection like I always have ... .Im made to feel like sex driven freak and all I care about is sex and I'm selfish.  It then went from that to her saying I never do anything for her money wise etc and that she is sick of it?  We are living off my income and it is tough since she used to work .  I told her let's look into getting a part time job for her. Seemed to calm her a little but I asked her how or what makes her think I don't do anything for her ... .That just turns into I probly want out and want someone else and yes I could tell by her text that morning she was baiting a argument I just don't get it.  I've gotten a lot better at how I handle my own anger towards her outrageous treatment to myself ... .Its a lot of walking away and letting the situation calm down and also kinda take a lot of the abuse... ugghh

[Mutt]

I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in dustrat. It feels frustrating, depressing and tiring when we are blamed for everything in the r/s and working terribly long hours to provide for the family.

I share a similar experience with working long hours and my ex detaching from sex and being told I was homosexual and didn't want sex. The reality if it is that she was engulfed.

Having said that I agree being indifferent when we feel hopeless and in the fog is very difficult.

What sort of boundaries do you have? I understand she has a DUI. You're working thirds. Have you talked to her about getting work?