Changing Phone Number

[Depression = 72% of members]

Does changing your phone number make your BPD ex come after you even harder? Does it re-enforce or trigger their abandonment issues in knowing that you are gone for real this time? I do not have FB or any social media, so NC there and I have been strict NC 3 months and have no desire to break it after catching her cheating. I also changed my number out of necessity because I do not want to receive any text messages from her and not have the anxiety of discovering one.  Also, why is it so hard for them to be honest?

[VistaView]

Does changing your phone number make your BPD ex come after you even harder? Does it re-enforce or trigger their abandonment issues in knowing that you are gone for real this time? I do not have FB or any social media, so NC there and I have been strict NC 3 months and have no desire to break it after catching her cheating. I also changed my number out of necessity because I do not want to receive any text messages from her and not have the anxiety of discovering one.  Also, why is it so hard for them to be honest?

[Pieter2]

It certainly does - I did not change my number, but blocked her on everything and she went to my family, ballistic about it. So, yes, it certainly triggers them. Sad when they are the ones screwing it up that they then expect you to still be available for them whenever they want. They can't be honest - It triggers core shame and will certainly make you see that they are not perfect. After raging, swearing at me and being horrible to me for months my ex was horrified to hear that "I don't think she's perfect in every way". Shame.

[VistaView]

@Pieter... She can't go to my family, they want nothing to do with her as they know she has "issues".  We broke up once before for a year and a half while she entertained my replacement, then got back together for 1.5 yrs.  I caught her out there again and told her that I was done.  Looking back at our r/s, nothing but lies and secrets.  Sad, so sad, because she is over 50 and still going from guy to guy.  All I can think is that it must be terrible to feel so empty inside for so long. She has not attempted any contact at all. 

[blissful_camper]

I changed my cell number and gifted myself an upgraded phone at 14 months out of the r/s. I did it for me. Interestingly, around that time, I lost my hard drive. I had not backed up my journal that detailed my work and progress in the last year. At first I had mixed feelings about losing that journal, and not being able to reread my entries. I wanted to put it all behind me, and maybe losing what I'd written was part of that process too.

Take steps that benefit you, and leave the other out of the equation. 

[freedom33]

I have blocked her in all social media as she broke NC using one after the other. Blocked her on Skype, Whatsapp, viber, facebook , email. Her insistence really surpised me. Mine had also narcissistic traits so she 'd never be going over the top and she never begged or apologised.

But after I blocked her she went mental... .She kept trying to get through and break NC but also in a stupid way as if nothing was wrong between us. She wouldn't beg or apologise nor she'd say reasonable things like I really want to talk to you - I have missed you etc.

She 'd just say e.g. ''hey I am in location X having fun with a girl friend - want to pass by for a coffee later?. Then I 'd block her and she 'd use another medium after a couple of days saying e.g. "I will be at my flat at 11pm want to pass by and see me?". What a crazy btch... .

Now I occasionally get calls from unknown numbers that I don't pick up.

[Infern0]

After being accused of being an insane psychopath and told she never wanted anything to do with me again it took a few days for her to start going ape___ trying to contact me.

Texts,  phonecalls, Facebook,  snapchat,  calling my WORK.

In the end I had to get her to calm the f down because it was affecting work. The conversations we have had since have been surreal.

If you can sustain NC do it

[hurting300]

My ex changed her number the day after she left me.