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Author Topic: Last thing you or BPD said before going no contact  (Read 8135 times)
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« on: October 06, 2014, 04:19:03 PM »

And would you change it?

After mine replaced me for a second time while lying about it the entire two months it was happening. One week after they were "official" she actually texted me to see how I was doing. I responded by telling her to never contact me again or I will tell the new supply everything about her. Then told her I never want to hear or see her again and she never cared about me at all.

That was a month ago. Haven't heard from her since. Wouldn't change a thing.
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JRav59
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« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2014, 04:29:25 PM »

The last thing I said to her before I blocked her (a month ago):

"I don't want someone like you in my life. You are a liar. This relationship was a mindf*** for me. Best of luck."

Too harsh? She told me I would regret saying that. I don't regret anything. If anything, I regret not leaving her sooner.
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Springle
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« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2014, 04:55:19 PM »

I think the last thing she said to me was that she was going to email me some tickets for an event we had planned to go to together (which she was now conveniently now bailing out of), so that I could go with someone else or alone.

She never emailed them to me > meaning I had to wait in line for 4 hours by myself to re-buy tickets I had already purchased, not happen.

She then dropped me like a stone, never spoke to me again, then I find out a month later that she and my non-ex are together. She probably bailed on me so she could go jump in bed with him.
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fred6
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« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2014, 04:57:52 PM »

And would you change it?

After mine replaced me for a second time while lying about it the entire two months it was happening. One week after they were "official" she actually texted me to see how I was doing. I responded by telling her to never contact me again or I will tell the new supply everything about her. Then told her I never want to hear or see her again and she never cared about me at all.

That was a month ago. Haven't heard from her since. Wouldn't change a thing.

In person or text message?

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ajr5679
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« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2014, 05:01:07 PM »

I have pictures and your baby book. lets make a trade. (ex)

I said keep it and leave me alone let me heal. (me)

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rickdeckard
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« Reply #5 on: October 06, 2014, 05:20:16 PM »

The last thing I said to her before I blocked her (a month ago):

"I don't want someone like you in my life. You are a liar. This relationship was a mindf*** for me. Best of luck."

Too harsh? She told me I would regret saying that. I don't regret anything. If anything, I regret not leaving her sooner.

How exactly were you supposed to regret it?
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« Reply #6 on: October 06, 2014, 05:23:42 PM »

It was a text message.
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« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2014, 05:26:27 PM »

After raging about me being in the shower and not responding to a text right away. (He had a bad dream in which I cheated and he now was paranoid I actually would)

We had been on the phone 2 times before that day, he hung up on me twice and acted passive aggressive the whole day. He said he would take a nap to overcome is moodiness, so I went about my day and was in the shower. I received a dozen messages within minutes... .One of the last onces:

He:

You're acting weird, you're cold and distant. You dont want me in your life, im not important. I dont see a future for us if you keep acting this way

Me:

Im sorry you feel that way. I am not acting any different. I have told you when you rage, i choose not to respond. I didnt mean to upset you.

He;

You dont care about my feelings. Im not allowed to have feelings in this rs. You need to be with a guy as cold and distant as you. I dont see us working out with all this BS of yours.

Me:

I am sorry you feel that way, but honestly at this point I have my doubts to. We keep coming back to the same issues, no matter how hard we try.

He:

F*ck you, you never loved me or cared for me. Im wasting my time. There's somebody else... .You wanna hang out with your friends more, bla bla bla Im done

Me:

Ok

Went NC and received texts and youtube links to musicvideo's.

He wanted to undo the push and pull me in again.

After a million recycles I was done and stayed NC
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freedom33
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« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2014, 05:47:02 PM »

In a mixed state of desperation, hopelesness and anger I said to her 'don't call me, don't talk to me ever again, you are finished' and walked out. Then over time she kept contacting me through every possible social medium and by now I have her blocked everywhere (Phone, Skype, Viber, Whatsapp, Instagram, Facebook). I don't regret any of it.
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« Reply #9 on: October 06, 2014, 06:44:57 PM »

Happen in the gym at her VB practice when i walked in with flowers and tried to give it one more shot. She grabbed the flowers from me, called it inappropriate and as i tried with all my heart, she brought up so much minor stuff, most i never new bothered her, some items like not calling her or being with her, i owned some of those and told her i would do better and im in counseling, she then said save it for your next girlfriend or your wife Molly (my daughter home from college). Yep. Then told her son whose is friends with mine, that im not capable of love or of emotion. That was 10 days ago and was my last contact. Shes moved on with the replacement and Im here going What the heck just happened.
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hope2727
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« Reply #10 on: October 06, 2014, 06:50:46 PM »

Mine called me a lying manipulative "Bad word". He promptly took another woman away for the weekend a few days later.

Then when we saw each other months later told me I had done all these horrible things he actually had done. I used SET and that helped but its amazing how they can project.

Yikes what a mess. Now we are NC until I am strong enough to deal with it without tears. That may come or may not. We shall see.
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« Reply #11 on: October 06, 2014, 09:19:16 PM »

We had gone to see a Financial planer he got mad and pouted all through the Appt then after told me that I didn't say us and we enough What? He told me that he couldn't be with me because I was only thought of myself uggg and that his friends told him that he would wind up in jail or dead ! Why because he drives too fast or maybe he eats too much or maybe it would be because she stands in the middle of the street and rages. What a waste of 3 years if my life. They are so good at leading you on thinking they will change if only I could get the script on what to say and not say ., Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) oh I forgot it changes min to min.
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Nicolai

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« Reply #12 on: October 06, 2014, 11:51:02 PM »

Last thing she said "I need to think about it! we shall talk about this next week!". Never heard from her again.
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« Reply #13 on: October 07, 2014, 12:21:29 AM »

"I hate you for your lies and manipulations and painful things you have said and done to me.  I never want anything to do with you ever again. I hate you"

Next minute "I just don't understand why you hate me and won't talk to me"

This came after I told her in what was a remarkably kind and caring email that I couldn't stand by and watch her ruin her life anymore and that I loved and cared about her but I couldn't remain.  And I refused the friendzone thing because her reasons made no sense to me "I love you but need to see if my new rs works I don't think it will and then we will be together but please be my friend until then"


Er... .what
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Bak86
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« Reply #14 on: October 07, 2014, 12:32:42 AM »

Her: "All is well now. It's peaceful and quiet"

Me: "Too bad you don't want to talk. I miss your company"
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Tiepje3
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« Reply #15 on: October 07, 2014, 02:55:50 AM »

Me: "Why do you hate me so much or give me the impression that you hate me?"

Him: "I do not hate you, I do not love you either. I feel nothing for you."

... .after a six year r/s (married for four years)... .

It hurts!
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« Reply #16 on: October 07, 2014, 03:15:17 AM »

Me: "Why do you hate me so much or give me the impression that you hate me?"

Him: "I do not hate you, I do not love you either. I feel nothing for you."

... .after a six year r/s (married for four years)... .

It hurts!

Ouch
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Bak86
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« Reply #17 on: October 07, 2014, 03:26:45 AM »

Me: "Why do you hate me so much or give me the impression that you hate me?"

Him: "I do not hate you, I do not love you either. I feel nothing for you."

... .after a six year r/s (married for four years)... .

It hurts!

Mine said that too... .there's no love, no hate, i don't feel anything... .
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FoolishMan
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« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2014, 03:32:04 AM »

"I hate you for your lies and manipulations and painful things you have said and done to me.  I never want anything to do with you ever again. I hate you"

Next minute "I just don't understand why you hate me and won't talk to me"

This came after I told her in what was a remarkably kind and caring email that I couldn't stand by and watch her ruin her life anymore and that I loved and cared about her but I couldn't remain.  And I refused the friendzone thing because her reasons made no sense to me "I love you but need to see if my new rs works I don't think it will and then we will be together but please be my friend until then"


Er... .what

It's disgusting. Mine tried something similar. They spent a while baiting me afterwards, which showed me exactly how little she cared for him while publicly loving him more than anyone. I've since beat him up quite badly in a boxing ring. I felt a little sorry for him but he did try to belittle me in public so hey ho.

I won't look at them again now it's done. Freedom is the goal.

She rang my phone later that nite but i didn't answer.
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Fluff
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« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2014, 04:43:04 AM »

Last thing in person, she said: I'll make it up to you next time baby. (after throwing me out while visiting her in her country)

Last thing in text, I said: I'm tired of being controlled! Sit, stay, good dog! No! No! No!
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Deeno02
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« Reply #20 on: October 07, 2014, 06:02:48 AM »

Me: "Why do you hate me so much or give me the impression that you hate me?"

Him: "I do not hate you, I do not love you either. I feel nothing for you."

... .after a six year r/s (married for four years)... .

It hurts!

I kind of got the same thing. "Me: Wow, I guess you really do hate me dont you?

                                          " Her: Stop. You have alot of good qualities. I just dont feel that way about you anymore. I finally know what

                                            I want"

Yep. Im the rebound guy. Now off to the next guy. Guess I'll get some popcorn and watch the show as he's lead down the road to perdition.
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brokenbutalive
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« Reply #21 on: October 07, 2014, 06:05:54 AM »

Last thing in person, she said: I'll make it up to you next time baby. (after throwing me out while visiting her in her country)

Last thing in text, I said: I'm tired of being controlled! Sit, stay, good dog! No! No! No!

Smiling (click to insert in post)

If I'd said that to mine there would have been a brick through my window the next day
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Algae
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« Reply #22 on: October 07, 2014, 06:58:57 AM »

Why does everyones last message here sound like THEYRE the ones that broke it off Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).  It's so different from my last words... which were...


ME:  Hello?  You haven't even said hi to me since you got back from your family camp trip, are you there?

Her: I don't care, I hate you, Bye. *Blocked me on everything*

Me:  What?  What the hell?  Hello?



And she goes riding off into the sunset with a new boy she met and only knew for 9 days before dating!  Not even thinking about how fked up it was to do that to me... especially after how Much I meant to her prior to her going on that camping trip.

what the hecks up with that huh?  Now she's still with him... and HAPPIER than every apparently.  They talk 24/7 even though they have NOTHING in common.
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Deeno02
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« Reply #23 on: October 07, 2014, 07:49:27 AM »

Algae,

They are always happier with the new person. Because you got painted black and now shes been rescued by her "real" hero. Give it time, he will screw up to and become downgraded. They place soo much expectation on a person, that its impossible to keep up with and, like me, become a shell of yourself. This year and a half with my BPD/gf was worse than my 18 year marriage. Im mentally destroyed. She will do the same thing to, unless this dude is smarter than me and sees through it and runs. Keep venting and reading these posts. They are so helpful.
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brokenbutalive
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« Reply #24 on: October 07, 2014, 07:57:15 AM »

Why does everyones last message here sound like THEYRE the ones that broke it off Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).  It's so different from my last words... which were...


ME:  Hello?  You haven't even said hi to me since you got back from your family camp trip, are you there?

Her: I don't care, I hate you, Bye. *Blocked me on everything*

Me:  What?  What the hell?  Hello?



And she goes riding off into the sunset with a new boy she met and only knew for 9 days before dating!  Not even thinking about how fked up it was to do that to me... especially after how Much I meant to her prior to her going on that camping trip.

what the hecks up with that huh?  Now she's still with him... and HAPPIER than every apparently.  They talk 24/7 even though they have NOTHING in common.

Horrible. Had the relationship been on the ropes by that point or was it completely out of the blue?
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Deeno02
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« Reply #25 on: October 07, 2014, 07:59:19 AM »

Algae,

They are always happier with the new person. Because you got painted black and now shes been rescued by her "real" hero. Give it time, he will screw up to and become downgraded. They place soo much expectation on a person, that its impossible to keep up with and, like me, become a shell of yourself. This year and a half with my BPD/gf was worse than my 18 year marriage. Im mentally destroyed. She will do the same thing to, unless this dude is smarter than me and sees through it and runs. Keep venting and reading these posts. They are so helpful.

However, my biggest fear is recycling... .scares me to death.
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freedom33
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« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2014, 08:00:10 AM »

Why does everyones last message here sound like THEYRE the ones that broke it off Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).  It's so different from my last words... which were...


ME:  Hello?  You haven't even said hi to me since you got back from your family camp trip, are you there?

Her: I don't care, I hate you, Bye. *Blocked me on everything*

Me:  What?  What the hell?  Hello?



And she goes riding off into the sunset with a new boy she met and only knew for 9 days before dating!  Not even thinking about how fked up it was to do that to me... especially after how Much I meant to her prior to her going on that camping trip.

what the hecks up with that huh?  Now she's still with him... and HAPPIER than every apparently.  They talk 24/7 even though they have NOTHING in common.

Horrible. Had the relationship been on the ropes by that point or was it completely out of the blue?

A relationship with a pwBPD is on the ropes from day one in their eyes. It is just us that we fail to notice and/or take seriously.
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brokenbutalive
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« Reply #27 on: October 07, 2014, 08:08:05 AM »

Why does everyones last message here sound like THEYRE the ones that broke it off Laugh out loud (click to insert in post).  It's so different from my last words... which were...


ME:  Hello?  You haven't even said hi to me since you got back from your family camp trip, are you there?

Her: I don't care, I hate you, Bye. *Blocked me on everything*

Me:  What?  What the hell?  Hello?



And she goes riding off into the sunset with a new boy she met and only knew for 9 days before dating!  Not even thinking about how fked up it was to do that to me... especially after how Much I meant to her prior to her going on that camping trip.

what the hecks up with that huh?  Now she's still with him... and HAPPIER than every apparently.  They talk 24/7 even though they have NOTHING in common.

Horrible. Had the relationship been on the ropes by that point or was it completely out of the blue?

A relationship with a pwBPD is on the ropes from day one in their eyes. It is just us that we fail to notice and/or take seriously.

True, very true. But even by their standards algae's breakup was cold and brutal.
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« Reply #28 on: October 07, 2014, 08:10:58 AM »

Mine said After 8 weeks of steady and solid progress, CBT and DBT, "I've changed my mind, its over" That was 8 days ago. Not a peep since. Oh and she just posted on her facebook page "She needed a hero, so she became one"

I'm not sure if she's serious, or it's just a new threat to add the previous 20 times she has said it. The law of averages says it's not serious. But if she was, it would free me up considerably in so many ways Smiling (click to insert in post)


. Then told her son whose is friends with mine, that im not capable of love or of emotion. That was 10 days ago and was my last contact. Shes moved on with the replacement and Im here going What the heck just happened.

What she's actually saying is that "She thinks she's not capable of love and emotion"

And rather than face the pain of that truth with you, it's easier for her to move on and start the honeymoon phase with someone else, INAAY Its Not All About You.

Mine called me a lying manipulative "Bad word". He promptly took another woman away for the weekend a few days later.

Then when we saw each other months later told me I had done all these horrible things he actually had done.

So sorry hope2727, this must have hurt so much!

"I love you but need to see if my new rs works I don't think it will and then we will be together but please be my friend until then"

Er... .what

Sorry, but that's just hilarious BPD crazy logic. She is just trading pawns on a chess board.  How did you keep a straight face?

I've since beat him up quite badly in a boxing ring.

This = my favourite post on BPDfam! Smiling (click to insert in post) How on earth did you get him in the boxing ring?
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« Reply #29 on: October 07, 2014, 08:13:42 AM »

my ex was apparently frustrated that i refused to sleep with him again (in a recycle attempt). i told him, "look how you talk to me" (after being raged at for a few hours). he said, "because i don't want anything to do with you! i have nothing to say to you because i don't want to be with you!" i ended up having to block him because he wouldn't stop texting me that day.

those words have haunted me for over a week now. i can't stop replaying them in my head.
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