Getting 'tested' after relationship

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

This is probably going to sound quite harsh but there is logic behind it I would argue.

Sine pwBPD do have a tendency to cheat, and it is likely they were very sexually active with several partners both before and potentially during the relationship, as well as in between any recycles.

Would it seem wise to get tested for any STI's after a r/s with a pwBPD? Or have a new partner be tested if you knew their ex was a pwBPD?

Have you ever asked a partner with BPD to get tested? What was their reaction? Did they do it? How did you know?

I always ask any person I am getting intimately involved with (I've never had sex outside of a r/s) if they have been tested recently/or ask them to get tested before we do anything. It's awkward but better safe than sorry.

I hate to say it but I would be even more alert if I was aware a guy had been with a pwBPD in the recent past.

[Springle]

This is probably going to sound quite harsh but there is logic behind it I would argue.

Sine pwBPD do have a tendency to cheat, and it is likely they were very sexually active with several partners both before and potentially during the relationship, as well as in between any recycles.

Would it seem wise to get tested for any STI's after a r/s with a pwBPD? Or have a new partner be tested if you knew their ex was a pwBPD?

Have you ever asked a partner with BPD to get tested? What was their reaction? Did they do it? How did you know?

I always ask any person I am getting intimately involved with (I've never had sex outside of a r/s) if they have been tested recently/or ask them to get tested before we do anything. It's awkward but better safe than sorry.

I hate to say it but I would be even more alert if I was aware a guy had been with a pwBPD in the recent past.

[pieceofme]

my ex's ex actually contacted me and said she recently was tested and i should get tested, too. even though my ex and i always practiced safe sex, i did get tested for the full range of STDs, including HIV. it was scary, but thankfully, everything came back clean.

no judgment! it's the right thing to do! and knowing you're clean will make it easier to move forward in the future.

[hope2727]

Always better safe than sorry. I was tested the moment he left and will do blood work again in 6 months. It is the responsible thing to do for yourself and those you may end up impacting. No germs no problem. But if there are then at least you can get timely treatment and protect others around you.

I work in a blood borne health industry and many many people don't know they have various blood borne diseases for YEARS. So best to know.

Besides then you can throw a "I didn't get an STI party"

[Springle]

Has anyone ever contracted an STI from their pwBPD? Must be an awful way to learn of cheating .

[Rifka]

Always better safe than sorry. I was tested the moment he left and will do blood work again in 6 months. It is the responsible thing to do for yourself and those you may end up impacting. No germs no problem. But if there are then at least you can get timely treatment and protect others around you.

I totally agree! I went and got tested the following week for any and everything! He swore that he was faithful to me and the ex before me. They were together for three years. Honestly since I caught him in so many lies towards the end. I didn't know if there was any truth to anything ever that came out of his mouth.

My tests came back good, but it takes 6 months from the last unprotected sex for HIV to show, so I will be back to test in 5 more months.

I believed he was loyal to me, so we had unprotected sex for 7 months! I feel like an ass now for believing him, but live and learn. I was loyal to him and my past ex who I was with for 5 1/2 years.

Testing is important for me to know that I'm healthy and if not to do what I needed to deal with whatever. Thankfully results were good!

[tim_tom]

Has anyone ever contracted an STI from their pwBPD? Must be an awful way to learn of cheating .

I did... Makes the whole thing harder cause you feel like moving on is going to be so difficult

[Springle]

Has anyone ever contracted an STI from their pwBPD? Must be an awful way to learn of cheating .

I did... Makes the whole thing harder cause you feel like moving on is going to be so difficult

I'm so sorry tim_tom

And I bet, when you want to cut off you have the lingering reminder. I hope it wasn't serious and you were able to recover?

[hurting300]

I got tested. I mean not all BPD's cheat but I wanted to be sure.

[fred6]

Has anyone ever contracted an STI from their pwBPD? Must be an awful way to learn of cheating .

I did... Makes the whole thing harder cause you feel like moving on is going to be so difficult

Holy $hit, I'm  scared! Just a couple days ago, I was talking to a 10+ year ex coworker/friend of her's that she split black back in May. Her friend confided in me that she was told by my uxBPD that she had herpes. She also told me that her step mother was the only other one that knew about it. Maybe her ex friend is bitter and stirring the pot to cause trouble.

But should I call her step mother and ask her about it?

[pieceofme]

fred6, regardless of what the step-mother might say, it's only hearsay. you should avoid any contact and get tested asap. take care of yourself!

[fred6]

fred6, regardless of what the step-mother might say, it's only hearsay. you should avoid any contact and get tested asap. take care of yourself!

I know. But with me paying all her bills for 3 months. Then having to move out, buying furniture and everything else to just live I don't have the money right now. Damn, I spent $3K in the past month. I NEED TO CALL NEW SUPPLY AND TELL HIM! Doesn't he deserve to know? Fcuk this ___... .

[hurting300]

fred6, regardless of what the step-mother might say, it's only hearsay. you should avoid any contact and get tested asap. take care of yourself!

I know. But with me paying all her bills for 3 months. Then having to move out, buying furniture and everything else to just live I don't have the money right now. Damn, I spent $3K in the past month. I NEED TO CALL NEW SUPPLY AND TELL HIM! Doesn't he deserve to know? Fcuk this ___... .

Go out to a club and leave with a hot ass easy girl ok.

[tim_tom]

Holy $hit, I'm  scared! Just a couple days ago, I was talking to a 10+ year ex coworker/friend of her's that she split black back in May. Her friend confided in me that she was told by my uxBPD that she had herpes. She also told me that her step mother was the only other one that knew about it. Maybe her ex friend is bitter and stirring the pot to cause trouble.

But should I call her step mother and ask her about it?

the standard test doesn't include herpes... you have to get full panel.

good luck my friend

[tim_tom]

I know. But with me paying all her bills for 3 months. Then having to move out, buying furniture and everything else to just live I don't have the money right now. Damn, I spent $3K in the past month. I NEED TO CALL NEW SUPPLY AND TELL HIM! Doesn't he deserve to know? Fcuk this ___... .

I had that same debate internally... I still feel its' the right thing to do, but everyone including my T told me not to...

What sucks is that she'll just go around spreading it, and I'll do the right thing and tell people. Only to risk rejection

[fred6]

I know. But with me paying all her bills for 3 months. Then having to move out, buying furniture and everything else to just live I don't have the money right now. Damn, I spent $3K in the past month. I NEED TO CALL NEW SUPPLY AND TELL HIM! Doesn't he deserve to know? Fcuk this ___... .

I had that same debate internally... I still feel its' the right thing to do, but everyone including my T told me not to...

What sucks is that she'll just go around spreading it, and I'll do the right thing and tell people. Only to risk rejection

I wonder why people say not to tell the replacement? I was reading that sometimes herpes doesn't have any symptoms. That's just great... .

[tim_tom]

I wonder why people say not to tell the replacement? I was reading that sometimes herpes doesn't have any symptoms. That's just great... .

I dunno why... just a lot of people said not to. None of thier answers satisfied me on any level

And yea, 90% of people who have it don't know