She says she thinks about me at mom's and thought about me this weekend. Perhaps she has empathy for me?
It's probably healthy empathy if she knows she is not responsible for making you happy.
A friend told me how the side of her family that had big holiday traditions completely stopped talking about her mom after her parents divorced, as though the mom never existed. Even in normal divorces, kids probably feel the absence and the loss of the other parent during holidays, and the silence might make it feel even weirder and harder.
Holidays can also make people acutely aware of how different they are.
I'm really glad I posted. There are so many things I had
notthought about. Mainly from the perspective of an 8 year and what she's going through.
MIL, FIL, exBPDw all split me black. I don't exist to them.
I'm pretty sure that I'm not talked about anymore. FIL didn't have kind words about SD15's dad when I first met him, and those were stories told to him by ex.
I can't see that I'd be an exception. The absence is amplified over the holidays.