Detoxing - literally

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm curious what sort of stuff you do physically for yourself to help.

This morning I had a massive hot shower, with body scrub and lots of it.  I worked on all the areas of my skin which I think are holding onto stress. 

I feel like I need to go to a Native American sweat lodge, take some juju herbs and steam all my mother's crap out of me.

I feel that it's not me, all these things she left me with and I need to dispose of them.

I let a good deal of it flood down the drain with all the body scrub.

As I did it, this thought popped straight into my head 'What if it doesn't work?'   

Is that my mother talking?  Go away, it will work!  I need some Neuro Linguistic Programming to get rid of her negative voice. 

I will let some more go this afternoon by meditating on the little me.  For now, it's self love (I just moisturised, I feel good) and chatting with little me to let her know she's safe. 

What do you do to detox and love yourself? 

[ElvisLives]

I'm curious what sort of stuff you do physically for yourself to help.

This morning I had a massive hot shower, with body scrub and lots of it.  I worked on all the areas of my skin which I think are holding onto stress. 

I feel like I need to go to a Native American sweat lodge, take some juju herbs and steam all my mother's crap out of me.

I feel that it's not me, all these things she left me with and I need to dispose of them.

I let a good deal of it flood down the drain with all the body scrub.

As I did it, this thought popped straight into my head 'What if it doesn't work?'   

Is that my mother talking?  Go away, it will work!  I need some Neuro Linguistic Programming to get rid of her negative voice. 

I will let some more go this afternoon by meditating on the little me.  For now, it's self love (I just moisturised, I feel good) and chatting with little me to let her know she's safe. 

What do you do to detox and love yourself? 

[Kwamina]

Hi ElvisLives

Welcome to coping and healing! Thanks for this great post. When you've been raised in a negative and invalidating environment, as adults its very important to now to take good care of ourselves. A hot shower works for me too. Meditation also and physical exercise. Something I've been doing since last year is hot chocolate, but no regular hot chocolate ofcourse! I was never a real fan of hot drinks but last year I saw someone make some coco that looked something like this:



... .and ever since I've been hooked so to speak

Talking back to that negative inner voice is probably one of perhaps even the most important thing many of us who were raised by a BPD parent have gotta learn. I myself apply cognitive behavior techniques to combat the negative thoughts that pop up in my mind and have greatly benefited from this over the last three years. It's something I still gotta work on constantly, but I do feel like it gets easier and also that as I get stronger I keep reaching new levels and discovering things that I wasn't really aware of before or unable to (fully) experience before as a result of those pervasive negative thoughts. When you're able to effectively talk back to that negative inner voice, it's like a door opens to a new world and you're able to see everything with new eyes.

[Harri]

Hi Elvis! 

I like to create things with clay (polymer) and I also make jewelry (mostly chain maille).  Both of those things help me to focus and re-center myself.  When i can, I do a walking meditation and when I can't walk, I use the same principles and apply them to my clay work and jewelry.  I have a hard time with more traditional forms of meditation so I go with what works. 

Great question!  Thanks for asking.

[ElvisLives]

... .and ever since I've been hooked so to speak

Whoa!  That looks so good but I'd be the size of a house if I drunk that on a regular basis.  :D

Yes, calming that inner voice.  She doesn't half go on, I swear.  :D  I'll look into the cognitive behaviour thing, thanks.

Wow Harri, clever you.  l love that polymer stuff, it looks so enticing.  Thanks for the tip on the meditation, I hadn't thought of that.

[Theo41]

Here's what has worked for me:

1. I was successful ( graduated, served in the Army, got married, had children, worked, got raises, got promotions. ) a successful reality trumps toxic negativity.

2. When the negative thinking shows up in my head I put a stop to it and turn it out. Sometimes it wants to hang in there for a while But usually when I see it "come up the front walk" so to speak, I see a skull and crossbones and slam the door on the unwanted, toxic and inappropriate thoughts. Try it . The more u do it , the better it works.  But you've got to want to stop entertaining the negative thoughts. If there's a big part of u that's really comfortable entertaining the negative/critical thoughts go for therapy.

In summary: become successful and don't entertain negative, toxic thoughts. Hope that helps, Theo

[Shameful]

I am newbie here and understand the power of the parent's negativity and the tapes that replay over and over in our minds.  I clean for a living and as a child that was one of my tasks at my BPD mother's and at my BPD Fathers.  With both cases they would come home mad and tell me how I was lazy and didn't do anything all day, and how bad the house looked.  This after I spend 4 hours that day trying to here a simple thank you and I am proud of you.   So as I am cleaning for my customers and in my head lines like this play over and over "you are not doing a good enough job" and other negative things follow through my head.  So by the end of the job I usually have a headache and feel totally worthless.  And when I would come home I would be in a bad mood.  So my poor hubby and kids would always ask what was wrong.   My customers all love me and always tell me how good of a job I do.  So now I am standing up for myself when that thinking comes in and working on being aware of this damaging self talk.  It makes a huge difference and on my way home from work I pray and tell myself good things about my self to counteract the old thinking.  I love a hot bath with Epsom salt, candles, and some soft music.  But at the same time watching my thinking, because my old tapes will try to beat me up for taking time for myself.  I also love cuddling up with some warm chamomile tea and a good book.  Nature walks are awesome to!  I enjoy coloring and puzzles to, I guess that is for little me One thought at a time we can replace the old thinking!   

[gentlestguardian]

I run outside. Running under trees with the sun bursting through the leaves and branches and a blue sky overhead makes my heart swell with gratitude and love. It's the best detoxer I've found yet. I like yoga too, but I always feel mentally heavier after yoga because I end up sitting with my most inner self during the practice and that raises a lot of heavy feelings in me right now. Really being present and actually feeling the joy and ease of spending time with my SO and my step-kids also does a lot for me.

[ElvisLives]

Thanks for the responses guys.

Appreciate it.

Gentlestguardian,  you paint a lovely picture with the running.  I hear you.