Always happy- he has a flat affect

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I'm trying to understand my soon to be exBPD husband. He is always happy, not manic happy but always seems up. It seems somewhat a-typical for a BPD from what I read here. He often uses the Bible, specifically Ephesians 3:16 fruits of the spirit as a shield when I confront him about his behavior to protect himself from criticism. I believe that his always up attitude is a defense mechanism to protect from some kind of darkness in his childhood. What I understand is that he acted out a lot as a child and one of the last of a large brood of siblings his negative acting out got him in trouble a lot. He has a sister diagnosed with multiple personalities and had accused the father of sexual abuse. None of the other siblings feel this is real so it makes me wonder what really happened for him as a child. Has anyone seen a person with BPD so disconnected from negativity that they cannot feel or show signs of depression? He also has a grandiosity about things he does, investments, likes to dispense wisdom to others like he has all the answers? I just am trying to understand the pathology and it all has really got me confused. Thanks for any thoughts.

[TedBear]

So I'm trying to understand my soon to be exBPD husband. He is always happy, not manic happy but always seems up. It seems somewhat a-typical for a BPD from what I read here. He often uses the Bible, specifically Ephesians 3:16 fruits of the spirit as a shield when I confront him about his behavior to protect himself from criticism. I believe that his always up attitude is a defense mechanism to protect from some kind of darkness in his childhood. What I understand is that he acted out a lot as a child and one of the last of a large brood of siblings his negative acting out got him in trouble a lot. He has a sister diagnosed with multiple personalities and had accused the father of sexual abuse. None of the other siblings feel this is real so it makes me wonder what really happened for him as a child. Has anyone seen a person with BPD so disconnected from negativity that they cannot feel or show signs of depression? He also has a grandiosity about things he does, investments, likes to dispense wisdom to others like he has all the answers? I just am trying to understand the pathology and it all has really got me confused. Thanks for any thoughts.

[fromheeltoheal]

Those traits don't sound specifically like traits of the disorder, but I see them a lot nonetheless.  People, myself included, sometimes manufacture happiness in the face of something less, like depression, anxiety, discontent, whatever, it's a false self and a denial of a reality, like 'screw you, I'm going to be happy anyway.'  Not necessarily a bad thing, in a 'fake it till you make it' sense, but maybe it's a matter of degree, and if it departs from reality entirely.  With a sister with multiple personalities, someone who responds to some sort of trauma by compartmentalizing entire identities to corral the effects of that trauma, the manufactured happiness seems plausible.   

And grandiosity, acting superior isn't inappropriate if we really are superior in some area, but there's the other kind, one I've been guilty of myself more than once, of acting superior because we feel inferior, an overcompensation.  Ugly that, especially when someone is confronted with it and the facade crumbles.

My two cents... .

[SlyQQ]

might just be narcism boderlines despair often