the power of self reflection

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I made a mask over the course of my whole life. With each new experience I hid more deeply behind it. Eventually, I thought I was the mask. I believed it was me and I it. I wore the mask of a hero, and I wanted to save her... .I wanted to save her from herself. I failed. I began searching for answers. Through time I began to find them. Still though, I couldn't see clearly for my mask had gotten very large. I knew that if I took off my mask I could see the truth, but I was afraid.

Time passed. Lessons were not learned, for, I found that I already knew the answers but had chosen not to acknowledge them. Eventually, and with much fear, I took off the mask. What did I see?

I saw that much of the fault was mine. I needed her. I needed someone to save. I needed someone to save so that I didn't have to save myself.

The first step to healing is to acknowledge your own mask; your own guilt. Only through admission of our mistakes can we begin to learn not to repeat ourselves and forever perpetuate our own misery at the fault of our own hands.

I was choosing to let her control me. It was my fault as much as hers... .

I love you all,

The Woofhound

[woofhound]

I made a mask over the course of my whole life. With each new experience I hid more deeply behind it. Eventually, I thought I was the mask. I believed it was me and I it. I wore the mask of a hero, and I wanted to save her... .I wanted to save her from herself. I failed. I began searching for answers. Through time I began to find them. Still though, I couldn't see clearly for my mask had gotten very large. I knew that if I took off my mask I could see the truth, but I was afraid.

Time passed. Lessons were not learned, for, I found that I already knew the answers but had chosen not to acknowledge them. Eventually, and with much fear, I took off the mask. What did I see?

I saw that much of the fault was mine. I needed her. I needed someone to save. I needed someone to save so that I didn't have to save myself.

The first step to healing is to acknowledge your own mask; your own guilt. Only through admission of our mistakes can we begin to learn not to repeat ourselves and forever perpetuate our own misery at the fault of our own hands.

I was choosing to let her control me. It was my fault as much as hers... .

I love you all,

The Woofhound

[Pingo]

I saw that much of the fault was mine. I needed her. I needed someone to save. I needed someone to save so that I didn't have to save myself.

I can totally relate to this woofhound, and with the demise of my r/s I feel like the mask has been ripped off and I am totally exposed.  I realise that I have numbed myself for my entire adult life with many protective defenses and now I am aware and exhausted.  Time to heal old wounds and forgive ourselves for what we did to 'survive'.

[woofhound]

The funny thing is; once you realize your true nature there is a moment of total disgust, but its followed by a wave of relief. In seeing ourselves we instinctively begin healing.