Is it wrong I use humor to deal with my sibling's insanity while here?

[ropend]

I find myself wanting to start a mock betting pool for how long my sibling can stay on a friend's friends and family cell phone plan.

Is that horrible?

Is that inappropriate?

Is it funny?

[goingtostopthis]

 Im telling you,  I do the same thing and I think it's very healthy to find humor in negative, destructive things family members are doing.

                 It's a way to stay sane and detach yourself from the stupidity and insanity they project.  This is from my point of view and the dysfunction I'm going through.

                                          I find myself afraid of my sister now and I'm not happy about it. She irrationally started ranting at me over something she understood nothing about and there was no way she would accept a single word I said.  It frightened me because it was done in such a bullying way that I felt that I almost wanted to hit her, she kept verbally coming at me and coming at me and would not stop.  It was like she was out of control. I told my mother about this and she did nothing.  This explains it all as to why I grew up in a dysfunctional family and have had self esteem, relationship problems most of my life.  Abuse by siblings,  parents stand by and do nothing.

                                          Ive found myself as a coping mechanism, imitating my sister as if I were doing a comedy act, not in front of her of course,  but to myself.  One thing Ive realized is that my sister unknowing to herself, starts these fights to gain a reaction out of me and it's horrible the way she does it.  This is her way of feeling superior and I dont care if she's 5 years older then me,  we are all adults now with our own individual experiences worthly of being treated with equality and respect.   She wants me to make this a big deal,  and that's the manipulation on her part. It's how she feels in control.    When I see humor in how she's acting,  more so the humor in the absudity of the whole situation,  I'm able to detach myself from her evil spell and free myself in a sense.         

[Harri]

Humor gets us through.  I see nothing wrong with it.  Some of the stuff they do is so over the top I can't help but laugh.  So go ahead and start collecting bets.   

[HappyChappy]

It's right to find humour. It defuses things. It allows us to make a point, without allowing the BPD to take offence. My BPD and NPD hated the fact I could get a room to laugh, but they would always play along when others where around. They'd laugh aloud in company to my jokes, but when it was 1 on 1, they made a point of never finding anything funny. Bless.   Also if you look at the triangulation, one category for  child other than the usual scapegoat and golden child, is "entertainer". I wonder if Woody Allen and W C Fields fall into this category - so many comedians had abusive childhoods.

Another comedy point of interest is that if your ruminate, then attaching comedy labels to the people you ruminate about is a technique for stopping the negative thoughts. If you ever saw the 1970’s situation comedy "Reginald Perrin", he use to think of a hippopotamus, every time someone mentioned his mother in law. Lets not forget laughing releases endorphins.

[sisterofbpd]

I see nothing wrong with that at all. 

Once BPDsis asked my parents for her inheritance early!  Mind you, she has been nothing but nasty to both of them.

Every so often when my brother and I are joking with my parents, we ask them for our inheritance early.  It always gets a laugh!

[P.F.Change]

Finding humor in a stressful situation can be one way to cope with it. However, is it really healthy to place bets on how long someone with a mental illness can function? Would it be okay to place bets on whether someone who is paralyzed would be able to get down a flight of stairs, or how many steps they would be able to take before falling on their face, and then laugh about it?

It's good that you're asking that question--whether it's healthy--that's the kind of thing we're here to work on. To me, it seems more like a way to feel superior about yourself and how "together" you are in comparison. It's one thing to be annoyed or frustrated with someone, quite another to make fun of their shortcomings. Is there a way to shift your focus from how terrible your sibling is at their life to ways you can improve your own?

Wishing you peace,

PF

[HappyChappy]

If it’s funny it’s a joke, if not it’s an insult. In response to those that a wary of humour in such situations, consider Anthony Jeselnik. He parodies a sociopath so his jokes are not Political Correct. I find it cleansing, as it’s frustrating BPD get away with their subtle abuse. Nothing subtle about Mr Jeselnik, except for his humour – he exposes it all.

Also Steve Coogan’s Alan Partridge – sends up  a narcissist, right down the sexual fantasies and living alone in a Premier Inn Hotel. Again, if we can laugh at it, it becomes less scary, lowers anxiety levels.  

[Upcyclinggirl]

Yes, I do that, and betting pools feature strongly between my husband and I. If she starts getting along with someone 'how long till the turn.' 'How far will she take this one?' We can never predict, you can't predict the unpredictable. Because the situation is so serious, humour is the only language I can use with 'norms' if they knew the full truth they couldn't cope with it and I can't cope with explaining it to someone who will never understand. Many decades of experience has taught me this. Eg 'why is she acting this way?' Can't ever be explained to a norm so I just go to humour. Eg 'Why did your mum go shopping in the middle of your wedding?' 'Um, I guess she really didn't want to miss the sales.' Is much easier than the truth.

[P.F.Change]

'Why did your mum go shopping in the middle of your wedding?' 'Um, I guess she really didn't want to miss the sales.' Is much easier than the truth.

That's an example of the kind of humor that I think can be helpful as a way to cope by offering a little levity.