Replacement contacted me today.

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I never had any real problems with my ex until she had gone to France for a month, and stopped communicating with me. Following this we spent two weeks together in England and she was not the stable empathetic partner I had known before, she was crazy and all over the place. Only then did I really start to realize there was something off about her. One night while skyping (we lived in different countries when we werent at college) a picture emerged of her kissing another guy in France. I commented on it, got his skype, and we found that she had been telling us both she loved us, we were the only one, etc. She made up a pretty intense web of lies to try and get us both back but I left right then and never looked back. The other dude stuck around. I was one of her only two long term relationships ever and thought we had a pretty strong connection, but after I broke NC a month after dumping her (I had never heard of NC, I simply stopped talking to her the moment I broke up with her, even though she feigned an insane amount of remorse and tried to get me back) she was bitter and mean and told me she loved the replacement and would NEVER do the same thing to him  and he was the one.

Today he contacts me to tell me she dumped him over skype. While I assumed theyd last a lot longer than me, since she had him convinced she left me for him because shed deeply fallen for him, he actually didnt keep her hooked nearly as long as I did. I think alot of it has to do with her inability to keep being attached to anyone who she doesnt see daily. He said she pretty much stopped talking to him, and when he nagged her as to where they stood she flat out dumped him. They had made so many plans to reunite in france while she was dating me too.

Its weird, I had always kept the possibility in my mind that maybe she did find true love outside of our relationship and that I was just unlucky, but she went hot and cold on this guy in such a quick and callous manner that I dont think anyone can ignore the writing on the wall. Im amazed that she still can.

I feel good to have gotten out at a fairly good point. Right when she started getting weird on me pretty much, but I spent most of my money on our european trip together, during which she was cheating on me, so that financial hit on the way out haunts me. Still, I think I got out just at the right point to reap the shallow benefits of this unhealthy relationship without enduring too much of the abuse. My main concern looking forward is that I can achieve personal happiness and self-esteem. I feel like the only reason I went for any of her whole thing originally was that I have low self-esteem and she was always down to feed my ego. I am unsure as to how to go about healing my core trauma though, and Ive only recently realized that I have a very dysfunctional dynamic with one of my parents, so I feel as though I have a long and trying road ahead of me.

[Yellowman]

I never had any real problems with my ex until she had gone to France for a month, and stopped communicating with me. Following this we spent two weeks together in England and she was not the stable empathetic partner I had known before, she was crazy and all over the place. Only then did I really start to realize there was something off about her. One night while skyping (we lived in different countries when we werent at college) a picture emerged of her kissing another guy in France. I commented on it, got his skype, and we found that she had been telling us both she loved us, we were the only one, etc. She made up a pretty intense web of lies to try and get us both back but I left right then and never looked back. The other dude stuck around. I was one of her only two long term relationships ever and thought we had a pretty strong connection, but after I broke NC a month after dumping her (I had never heard of NC, I simply stopped talking to her the moment I broke up with her, even though she feigned an insane amount of remorse and tried to get me back) she was bitter and mean and told me she loved the replacement and would NEVER do the same thing to him  and he was the one.

Today he contacts me to tell me she dumped him over skype. While I assumed theyd last a lot longer than me, since she had him convinced she left me for him because shed deeply fallen for him, he actually didnt keep her hooked nearly as long as I did. I think alot of it has to do with her inability to keep being attached to anyone who she doesnt see daily. He said she pretty much stopped talking to him, and when he nagged her as to where they stood she flat out dumped him. They had made so many plans to reunite in france while she was dating me too.

Its weird, I had always kept the possibility in my mind that maybe she did find true love outside of our relationship and that I was just unlucky, but she went hot and cold on this guy in such a quick and callous manner that I dont think anyone can ignore the writing on the wall. Im amazed that she still can.

I feel good to have gotten out at a fairly good point. Right when she started getting weird on me pretty much, but I spent most of my money on our european trip together, during which she was cheating on me, so that financial hit on the way out haunts me. Still, I think I got out just at the right point to reap the shallow benefits of this unhealthy relationship without enduring too much of the abuse. My main concern looking forward is that I can achieve personal happiness and self-esteem. I feel like the only reason I went for any of her whole thing originally was that I have low self-esteem and she was always down to feed my ego. I am unsure as to how to go about healing my core trauma though, and Ive only recently realized that I have a very dysfunctional dynamic with one of my parents, so I feel as though I have a long and trying road ahead of me.

[Infern0]

Well you certainly got some validation.

They always do that to try and get to you. In my case it was "he is the love of my life and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him, I hate you and will never speak to you again"

About two weeks later he got devalued and now she appears to be preparing for a recycle with me. Telling me how much she misses me and wants to see me. Certainly changed her tune.

You have to ignore the disregulated bull___ because it means nothing and can change in a millisecond.

Hang on to that validation.  You are the sane one.

You and your replacement have had a chat,  hopefully it was civil. You both got bitten by the same snake.

[Yellowman]

Yes, exactly, I feel like the sane one. Logically I knew that, but I had always considered maybe she was in a new healthy romance and I was the one with the problems.

We talked when I first caught her cheating and he told me "I might be crazy but Im going to stay with her because I love her." I kept telling him he should just cut his losses. Regardless he learned quickly... .