Can us NONs be like this to?

[jammo1989]

Ex BPD obsessively in love with her new replacement after literally 2 months of being together, i love you so, much, you mean everything to me and other statuses.  Personally as a NONs, i cant obsessively fall in love that early on, hell 2 months into my relationship with my ex, i still had some feelings for my ex before.  Would you guys feel obsessively in love with somone after a couple of months? 

[camuse]

No. In fact when mine declared her undying love after 2 months I remember being quite uneasy about it. She'd spent those two months saying she regretted falling in love with her exes too quickly, and that she just wanted to have fun and not be too serious, then suddenly she decided it was now a very serious relationship. Then she held those two months against me for not making enough effort for the rest of our time together. After we broke up she said she could never get over the fact that I hadn't been as serious about her as she was about me.

Barmy. Of course, what really happened, was she reached a point where she needed me to be more serious and attached, and saying she loved me was how she achieved that. It wasn't love, it was need, and control.

I think you'll hear from others on here for whom 2 months would have been a long time! Some had their BPD "in love" with them almost immediately. It just depends what they need at that time - when they need you to need them, they tell you they are in love with you. But this is not love, this is mental illness feeding off you, and the beginning of your complete destruction.

[jammo1989]

No. In fact when mine declared her undying love after 2 months I remember being quite uneasy about it. She'd spent those two months saying she regretted falling in love with her exes too quickly, and that she just wanted to have fun and not be too serious, then suddenly she decided it was now a very serious relationship. Then she held those two months against me for not making enough effort for the rest of our time together. After we broke up she said she could never get over the fact that I hadn't been as serious about her as she was about me.

Barmy. Of course, what really happened, was she reached a point where she needed me to be more serious and attached, and saying she loved me was how she achieved that. It wasn't love, it was need, and control.

I think you'll hear from others on here for whom 2 months would have been a long time! Some had their BPD "in love" with them almost immediately. It just depends what they need at that time - when they need you to need them, they tell you they are in love with you. But this is not love, this is mental illness feeding off you, and the beginning of your complete destruction.

Thanks for the reply my friend, they seem to get obsessed with their partner so early on, im guessing thats their wsy of saying thank you for saving me from my negative emotions, thank you for accepting me, thank you for validating me.  I just cant see how Nons would act like this after 2 months, which makes me feel a lot happier knowing that, shes just following the same pattern over and over again. 

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

It just depends what they need at that time - when they need you to need them, they tell you they are in love with you. But this is not love, this is mental illness feeding off you, and the beginning of your complete destruction.

Very true.  The more I reflect on my r/s with exBPDgf the more I realize that wanting to return to such a r/s must signify serious self esteem issues.  The pride must have been lacking within me to have entered into this r/s in the first place.  NC restores pride and credibility.

[Bak86]

Well yeah. In 4 months time i was madly in love with my exBPD.

[bungenstein]

Mine told me she loved me after 2 weeks, and later on admitted it was love at first sight, she pushed me into a relationship with her after 3 weeks, and immediately wanted to make it public on facebook, whilst at the same time snorting lines of coke, its amazing how oblivious I was to all the red flags in the first few weeks.

[Pingo]

I fell in love with my uBPDexh just as fast as he fell in love with me, and it was quick, the first couple months.  Very intense. Now of course, looking back with eyes wide open, I can see it for what it was, an addiction.

[RedDove]

Yup, same here... .my ex BPDbf declared his undying love for me 10 days after our first date. I was uncomfortable as well. But, I fell for the fairy tale hook, line and sinker! Grrr!

[Turkish]

The first time mine told me she loved me was a few months after we were dating. It was weird, in that it was almost like it was forcing its way out of her. She was still badly damaged from a previous bf who had abandoned her almost two years previously (but true to his narcissistic traits, kept in contact with her now and then). I took her two more years to fully detach from her previous love and it was only after we had our son. I felt the change. (here is where I admit my foolishness for choosing to have a child with someone like this)

Shortly after I found out about her cheating, 3 weeks before I finally called us quits after a brief salvage attempt, she wrote to my replacement, "every day that goes by is one day closer that we can be together forever." This was 4 months before she even moved out of my home. They weren't even spending that much time together, but sneaking around (so she thought). Soon after, she was calling him Love (I found this out by a text meant for him that she accidentally sent to me), something she never called me. She called me another pet name, the same one she called her siblings as a term of endearment.

It's been 8 months since she moved out so she could be with him full time. As far as I can tell, they are still going strong. It hurts, but you know what? If he bought into her fantasy, then they are a much better match than we were. They can have each other.

[hurting300]

I told mine two months in that i cared deeply about her.

[outside9x]

Well, my EXBPDgf, was a little older at 58 and after 3 husbands , and a multitude of guys I thinks she learned a bit, very intelligent went to a lot of self help meeting, could really talked the talk.

Anyway, she sexually came on to me right away talking & tease me with everything she had, even at work I would get these erotic messages etc, etc, and this was the 1st month.  I do think by month three I said to her I love her, then she said it .  I know she didn't do it first.  By the way she was going thru a divorce, and a few boyfriends and I was going thru a divorce too, but I was married once, for 34 years so it was like I hit the mother load I thought although she almost broke up with me after 1 month since I was only separate for 3 months, and her hooks weren't that deep and I didn't care, but she called begging me to come over and told me she made a big mistake, and lots of sexual allures. So I did.  Then the hooks when it and it was great for awhile, then the craziness came in.

[neverloveagain]

I think truthfully many of us can say yes we did, two weeks in i was head over heals in love with mine (waif) and she seemed to be the same with me, awsome i found the 'one' after being single for 8 years by choice. I think to a degree we all got on that fast moving train ans loved how exciting it felt i dont really buy into i didnt feel easy about it stuff, we went head first and loved it no?

[Blimblam]

I think truthfully many of us can say yes we did, two weeks in i was head over heals in love with mine (waif) and she seemed to be the same with me, awsome i found the 'one' after being single for 8 years by choice. I think to a degree we all got on that fast moving train ans loved how exciting it felt i dont really buy into i didnt feel easy about it stuff, we went head first and loved it no?

Yea I fell quickly. She would switch between the waif and siren and hooked me. I can't explain it. It's like the thunderbolt in the movie the godfather when he finds the girl in Sicily just this ethereal yet earthy maiden.