Well once again she missed work today and was at her new mans house hungover when she said she would be home for me to drop off our daughter. I blew up on her and said everythign I can to make her feel bad because she really should she's throwing her life away and hurting her own daughter while blaming everyone else in the process.
This is a bitter pill but she is showing her true colors. She is not going to change. Her actions are that of someone who is selfish, wreckless and immature. If she cannot keep her self together for her own child then she is a loss. I would speak with legal counsel and begin the process of removing this BPD cancer from your daughter's life.
I still love my BPDex but I also know what she is. If I were to let her back into my life it would be the same soul-crushing cycle over and over. There is a slim chance that treatment would help her behave like an adult. The problem is, so long as she can seduce men to feed her needs, she will never seek treatment. Her needs are met and that is all that matters to the vacant heart of a pwBPD.
Do what is best for your daughter. Take her as far away from her broken mother as you can.