Oh gee... .now what have I done. We started texting two days ago about the Reconciliation Agreement. Maybe for an hour on stuff. Real slow so I just picked up the phone and called her. She answered and I couldn't believe it. She said a day earlier she would never have talked with me? We talked for four hours, very calmly. Next evening another four hours on the phone. She says that she just wants to keep up the house and herself while we're in individual and marital counseling. I'm at a cross roads. Is she really BPD or some psychopath and this is all a ruse? Or is she sincere? I'm leaning towards the latter but blinded by love.
Sending you a great big hug!
I have been married to my husband for 16.5 years and we have been together almost 18 years. I so badly want to leave but the thought of sorting out that many years of stuff and dealing with the financial stuff is kind of scary. And, I know that there are times when my husband will catch me at a weak point and I will think, "Oh my, maybe there is some hope after all." After so many years on that roller coaster, I am emotionally checked out of the relationship. I have no idea how I would handle an actual divorce. I don't feel like there is anything left of a real relationship. I feel like most of what my husband and I do is out of habit and fear more than anything else. He is afraid of taking care of himself and I am afraid of trying to support four kids on my own.
And, don't forget, you have 28 years of history to look at to help you determine if she is sincere or just bat crap crazy. I have spent a whole lot of years thinking, "Maybe this time will be different." Don't kid yourself. Unless she is in some serious therapy and is working on her stuff, things probably aren't going to change and you are going to end up right back on that roller coaster. Step away from the emotion and look at things logically.
