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Author Topic: Will he contact me? Do they come back?  (Read 7793 times)
Raybo48
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 413



« Reply #90 on: November 05, 2014, 02:33:53 PM »

God. I opened my old e-mail account which had backed up all of our messages from months ago.

Now, I'm crying my eyes out and just want to call him. I miss him so much it hurts.

All of the time in the military, and everyday of him telling me "he knows he needs help" "I've always been what he needed."

How did we get here? How did this happen?

2 Steps forward, 1 step back.

I deleted all her pictures, every email we ever exchanged, tossed out anything she ever gave to me, deleted all texts and it still hurts like a B... .You need to get rid of all that stuff or it just prolongs the pain.   
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lovethebeach
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« Reply #91 on: November 05, 2014, 02:35:53 PM »

How I wish we could just re-wind time to those moments.

What happened to it all? How did we get here? There was once so much between us.

It's all gone. I plan to go to the post office tomorrow to send his things back.

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Deeno02
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« Reply #92 on: November 05, 2014, 02:39:33 PM »

How is it that the same person who said all of those things to me? Needed to be in constant contact with me. Couldn't live without me... .

Is now the same person who is perfectly fine without me?

Who is as cold as stone and doesnt seem to care.

Again LTB, its an illness. They are not wired like us at all. Im sorry, thats just how it rolls. I cant make sense of it either, no one can. They are so time consuming and exhaustive that they suck the life right out of you. Mine said horrible things about my kids! Who does that!... .They do, thats who.
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Raybo48
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 413



« Reply #93 on: November 05, 2014, 02:42:07 PM »

How I wish we could just re-wind time to those moments.

What happened to it all? How did we get here? There was once so much between us.

It's all gone. I plan to go to the post office tomorrow to send his things back.

I personally wouldn't mail anything back to him because that is considered contact.  If you want to be NC that means every form of contact.  Plus as many of us have attested to the BPDx is extremely unpredictable and you don't know how he will take that.  They can twist even the most innocent gesture around and be a victim.   I thought about sending my BPDx flowers... She lives at her mothers house in AZ, but the thought crossed my mind that she could easily accuse me of stalking by knowing where her mother lived so forget that mess.

I suggest letting all this settle in and don't do anything right now related to him... You need to think about YOU.
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lovethebeach
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« Reply #94 on: November 05, 2014, 02:43:55 PM »

I would, but he sent me money to mail his things back since we live 3 hours apart.

So, I don't have much of a choice... .
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bruceli
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« Reply #95 on: November 05, 2014, 03:13:52 PM »

Do you think they miss us or care?

He must remember. He doesn't have amnesia?

Every time my BPDx contacted me her first words were usually "I missed you" or something along those lines with an I love you thrown in or I think about you every day.. You get the picture.    Was it true? Who's to say... I can tell you that after those words were spoken it would hook me back in and it wouldn't take anytime at all for her to be the same exact person she was right before she disappeared.  Vindictive, accusations, the victim, lying, still talking to other guys behind my back at the very least, etc, etc.    

He remembers, but it's his version of things.  

I would think that in order for one to contact someone, a thought about that person would need to be generated.  Now, if it is everyday?  In my case I believe it is.  As many have stated here, I believe the same is what keeps them at bay.
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Raybo48
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Posts: 413



« Reply #96 on: November 05, 2014, 03:16:40 PM »

Do you think they miss us or care?

He must remember. He doesn't have amnesia?

Every time my BPDx contacted me her first words were usually "I missed you" or something along those lines with an I love you thrown in or I think about you every day.. You get the picture.    Was it true? Who's to say... I can tell you that after those words were spoken it would hook me back in and it wouldn't take anytime at all for her to be the same exact person she was right before she disappeared.  Vindictive, accusations, the victim, lying, still talking to other guys behind my back at the very least, etc, etc.    

He remembers, but it's his version of things.  

I would think that in order for one to contact someone, a thought about that person would need to be generated.  Now, if it is everyday?  In my case I believe it is.  As many have stated here, I believe the same is what keeps them at bay.

Interesting way to think about it.  I have come to accept the fact that there is no way I'm on her radar much of the time, just one more thing to process and deal with emotionally.
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outside9x
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Relationship status: divorced for 2 1/2 years
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« Reply #97 on: November 05, 2014, 03:17:44 PM »

I miss him. I miss us. The memories keep flooding back. We had so many amazing times together. But, in truth I don't think I could take him back I want him to care and show that but I don't think I'll ever get that at this point. I value trust and at this point there just isn't any.

That's just it, even in a normal relationship, and this is way far of normal, you can't teach or ever expect them to love you.  Either they do or they don't and with BPD it's all about their needs, big time, and all the time.  That's why you can never satisfy them.  It's a need they always need constantly to obtain, and the funnier thing (not really ) is they push you away, and that drives us all nuts, doesn't it.
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Mutt
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Relationship status: Divorced Oct 2015
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« Reply #98 on: November 05, 2014, 03:21:33 PM »

Staff only

Thank you for participating in this thread. The thread has reached it's post limit. You are welcome with opening a new thread for discussion.
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