Having a rough night need some encoragement

[guy4caligirl]

I have been doing better after 4 months of separation and trying to do the best I can helping myself and others but tonight I felt how much I loved her even though she was bad news .

It is the worst brake up I have ever had in my life 5 years .

Need some lifting up and words of encouragement .

[Deeno02]

I have been doing better after 4 months of separation and trying to do the best I can helping myself and others but tonight I felt how much I loved her even though she was bad news .

It is the worst brake up I have ever had in my life 5 years .

Need some lifting up and words of encouragement .

It will be like that for awhile. Your 4 months in, Im only 2 months in, but im getting better, you will to. We are going to have these moments, not much we can do about it. Just take a deep breath. When i get like this, i think of the abuse i suffered and realize that no one needs to be treated like we did. No one. Look ahead, not behind.

[Blimblam]

It's not easy. I found it gets better with time but it has been very painful. I found leaning into the pain to help me get through it. Different stages in the healing and grieving seem to present their own obstacles. Something i struggled with for a long time was projecting my hope for myself onto her. So I haunted her image and thoughts of her in order to feel hope but this hope for a long time and even in some way still are associated with me and her as an us rather than an I and I as a whole.

[guy4caligirl]

Thank you my friends really thank you ! tears in my eyes

[Targeted]

4 months in I was there just yesterday!

I went out in bought two cards and wrote down all of my feelings in them and they were very nice cards, my words were not hateful but more on the lines of I will be here if you ever decide you may have made a mistake, I cried when I wrote them!  And then I gave them  to somebody who would mail them for me because I leave for work around 3:30 AM.  The next morning I felt much better and called that person and told them to throw the cards away, I did that because it is only going to Prolong what will never seem to end.  

I had a better today than I had yesterday,  buy a nice card and write your feelings in it!

Than seal it and give it to someone you trust to throw it out.    Helped me.

[Targeted]

Unfortunately throwing them out has the same effect as her reading them.

Just saying.----- never gets heard anyway.

[Seriously?]

I recently heard the phrase "ambushed by grief." This is what it feels like to me. Not so often or as long in duration, but the intensity is still high enough it scares me. I learned that these brief episodes should not make one panic or be thought of as setbacks. They are raw emotion that need to be released. I self - talk myself better by saying." You have grown.  You are growing. Where you are is not where you were or where you will be. Your story is not over yet."