Did everyone else hate going out with their BPD?

[antonio1213]

Maybe it was just me but I hated going out to family, formal, or events with friends with my exBPDgf. She would either do a couple of things:

• She would get mad at me and mis treat me (unintentionally) in front of ppl. One time she slapped me in front of my little brother or she would snatch things from me.



• She would get mad or be in a bad mood before we came and not talk and barley respond to my family when they talked to her.



• She would get wayyy too PDA with me



• When she got alcohol in her system she would go crazy and get way to drunk. Very embarrassing stuff



• She got WAyy to competitive when we played games and would go crazy. Even family games.



• she would share things about my me with my family that I didn't want them to hear

[bungenstein]

Yep, all of the above.

I hated it, I was constantly on edge, I couldn't be myself, I felt like I was under surveillance, and that I also had to keep her under surveillance, just waiting for something to happen, some explosion.

Eventually I just stopped doing anything in public with her.

[Deeno02]

Loved going out with her at the begining. Never got to met her friends but 4 times,and that was at large events where I was left to my own devices while she mingled with her snooty friends, maybe I was introduced to people, most times not, my friends 2 times, barely met her sister. I always tried to get her to do couples things, never did. So it was always just her and I. I firmly believe she was embarrassed of me and all I did was be guilty of loving her. I was a replacement. That's all.

[Popcorn71]

I was with my xBPDh for 9 years.  For the first few years I had a lot of fun with him and enjoyed going out with him.  However, this had to be at events he wanted to go to.  If it was anything to do with my family, he usually had a row with me beforehand or refused to go at all.  Every Xmas he made a scene and it resulted in members of my family virtually begging him to come to the party and make up with me.

During the last 3 years we were together, I began to dread going out with him.  He loudly made derogatory remarks about people, like saying they were fat or ugly, etc.  I was always worried that somebody would hear and that it would cause trouble.  He also lost his temper easily after drinking and got into several fights in bars.  It was embarrassing and scary to be with a man in his late 50's who would pick a fight over nothing.  Apart from anything else, I worried that one night he would get a beating from somebody tougher than him!

Also, during the last year of our marriage, he was less and less concerned about me when we were out.  Several times, he left me to make my own way home despite knowing I didn't have much money on me or a house key.  Another night he simply failed to turn up to meet me and wasn't bothered at all when I was angry about that.  By then he was desperately trying to fit in with a new crowd and although I didn't realise it at the time, was seeking the replacement from within this group.