Why is it so hard to move on?

[Craydar]

I assume I'm not alone. I am having a very hard time trying to forget and move on from my relationship with an uBPDgf. This forum has been an excellent resource to help me understand BPD and accept that it's not all my fault. I'm wondering if the attention I am giving to this forum and, in effect, my ex makes it harder for me to forget and move on with my life.  Thinking about her and the whole situation depresses me. Thoughts?

[CareTaker]

Hey Craydar,

Hang in there 

I know the feeling. I am working through the same thing. Just remember that what you are feeling is a heeling process. Much like the pain you feel when you get cut, or break an arm. You cannot take the pain away until the wound has healed. And as the wound heals, the pain slowly eases.

For me it has been 2 months, and I must admit it is healing. But you got to work at it. You must force yourself to do things. Keep active, because your mind is playing games with you.

I find that this website has had a great influence on my recovery. It is great sharing with others, and feeling their pain as well. Others words of encouragement and support has really kept me going. I am not all alone in this.

Remember this, you are healing and will love again. Only this time you will be more careful, and you will know the red flags when you see them. I dream of being in a relationship with someone who shares my life. Not one with a list of her demands. That is not a relationship, it is an addiction. And once I feel more confident and addressed this "caretaker, rescuer" personality of mine, I will go look for that love. I am kinda getting excited about it. I wonder where this woman is? I dream of her, and I rather keep focussing on what I want, rather than what I lost.

I am healing. My ex has to run from her problems and she never deals with them. So the next victim is in for a huge surprise. At 34 she desperately wants a baby, so I know he is probably already under pressure. Rather him than me.

[Craydar]

Hey Craydar,

Hang in there 

I know the feeling. I am working through the same thing. Just remember that what you are feeling is a heeling process. Much like the pain you feel when you get cut, or break an arm. You cannot take the pain away until the wound has healed. And as the wound heals, the pain slowly eases.

For me it has been 2 months, and I must admit it is healing. But you got to work at it. You must force yourself to do things. Keep active, because your mind is playing games with you.

I find that this website has had a great influence on my recovery. It is great sharing with others, and feeling their pain as well. Others words of encouragement and support has really kept me going. I am not all alone in this.

Remember this, you are healing and will love again. Only this time you will be more careful, and you will know the red flags when you see them. I dream of being in a relationship with someone who shares my life. Not one with a list of her demands. That is not a relationship, it is an addiction. And once I feel more confident and addressed this "caretaker, rescuer" personality of mine, I will go look for that love. I am kinda getting excited about it. I wonder where this woman is? I dream of her, and I rather keep focussing on what I want, rather than what I lost.

I am healing. My ex has to run from her problems and she never deals with them. So the next victim is in for a huge surprise. At 34 she desperately wants a baby, so I know he is probably already under pressure. Rather him than me.

Thanks for the support. I am concerned because I feel as if my uxBPDgf has many different traits then so much of what is talked about on here. The basics are there, but she also portrays a lot of narcissistic traits that create a much different animal.