Free, Healing, Alive again.

[ReluctantSurvivor]

Hello BPD family.

About 3 months ago my two year relationship with my dBPDxgf came to catastrophic failure.  She nutted up and left.  I was emotionally eviscerated by losing someone I had poured everything I had into.  At the time I did not understand BPD.  I did not realize that no amount of compassion could heal the black hole wound she has where a heart and soul should be.  

 At first I grieved, hard.  I spent every free moment scouring the internet for relationship fix it advice.  I studied BPD religiously.  I was on a quest for the holy grail that would bring back my addictive love.  All this did little to help me greive and I hit a new low emotionally.  I ran out of gas, was ready to check out.  That day I shuffled out to my car at lunch and looked up mental health services.  I found a therapist.  I went, I talked and slowly sanity began to reenter my life.

 I started to detach and heal.  I started a new semester of night classes.  I joined a gym and started going 7 days a week.  I went to see my Dad once a week.  I built a new life far from BPD land.

 Today was the first day where I felt totally liberated from my soul crushing BPD experience.  I still keep in light contact with the dBPDxgf but I am divorced from it.  Today I am whole again.  Mostly it was the hardcore gym time that lifted me up.  Either way I wanted to share with all you fine folks and wish you each equal success in your journey.

[terranova79]

Hello BPD family.

About 3 months ago my two year relationship with my dBPDxgf came to catastrophic failure.  She nutted up and left.  I was emotionally eviscerated by losing someone I had poured everything I had into.  At the time I did not understand BPD.  I did not realize that no amount of compassion could heal the black hole wound she has where a heart and soul should be.  

 At first I grieved, hard.  I spent every free moment scouring the internet for relationship fix it advice.  I studied BPD religiously.  I was on a quest for the holy grail that would bring back my addictive love.  All this did little to help me greive and I hit a new low emotionally.  I ran out of gas, was ready to check out.  That day I shuffled out to my car at lunch and looked up mental health services.  I found a therapist.  I went, I talked and slowly sanity began to reenter my life.

 I started to detach and heal.  I started a new semester of night classes.  I joined a gym and started going 7 days a week.  I went to see my Dad once a week.  I built a new life far from BPD land.

 Today was the first day where I felt totally liberated from my soul crushing BPD experience.  I still keep in light contact with the dBPDxgf but I am divorced from it.  Today I am whole again.  Mostly it was the hardcore gym time that lifted me up.  Either way I wanted to share with all you fine folks and wish you each equal success in your journey.

That's great to hear!  I am glad you are out of a damaging relationship and well on your way to recovery.  As hard as it was--and don't take this the wrong way--you are lucky she left you.  My uBPDw threatened to leave me 4 years ago and I just barely managed to get her to stay in the relationship basically by taking the blame for everything.  I wish I had known about BPD then because I would've made a different decision.  Now I'm in a situation much harder to get out of, but reading posts like yours is inspirational!

[BrokenFamily]

I'm in the same boat, I'm completely detached emotionally from the actions of my BPDex & mother of my child. I gave her the best 4 years of her life and in return she gave me nothing but drama. It hurt at first, I cried a lot feeling loss and actual pain but when I sat down and thought about it I realized it's not worth getting stressed over; depression will only hurt me while she's seemingly happy having the time of her life. Our daughter needs me to stay sane , be a good provider and keep my head on straight. It didn't take a therapist to get me where I am , bpdfamily, the love I have for my daughter and self preservation did. The only thing that bugs me at times is someone I love or loved has such a train wreck of a life now but there is nothing I can do to fix it unless she decides to seek therapy.

[ReluctantSurvivor]

Well I think it's only fair to share after tooting my horn.  I just had a rough two days emotionally.  Yesterday I saw my dBPDxgf briefly.  After that occured I was speaking with a friend and she ask me, "What would you do if she wanted you back?"  I thought I had a lid on things but that questions stirred up a torrent of emotions.  I spent yesterday and today working through mixed feelings.  Thankfully that same friend gave me a pep talk this afternoon.  I also went and gave myself some therapy time at the gym.

  I think it is important to remember how benificial having a support network is when working through these things.  Friends, therapists, this forum and self care can help us all heal and grow.  Thank you all, I hope each of you is doing well today!

[StayOrLeave15]

Hello BPD family.

About 3 months ago my two year relationship with my dBPDxgf came to catastrophic failure.  She nutted up and left.  I was emotionally eviscerated by losing someone I had poured everything I had into.  At the time I did not understand BPD.  I did not realize that no amount of compassion could heal the black hole wound she has where a heart and soul should be.  

 At first I grieved, hard.  I spent every free moment scouring the internet for relationship fix it advice.  I studied BPD religiously.  I was on a quest for the holy grail that would bring back my addictive love.  All this did little to help me greive and I hit a new low emotionally.  I ran out of gas, was ready to check out.  That day I shuffled out to my car at lunch and looked up mental health services.  I found a therapist.  I went, I talked and slowly sanity began to reenter my life.

 I started to detach and heal.  I started a new semester of night classes.  I joined a gym and started going 7 days a week.  I went to see my Dad once a week.  I built a new life far from BPD land.

 Today was the first day where I felt totally liberated from my soul crushing BPD experience.  I still keep in light contact with the dBPDxgf but I am divorced from it.  Today I am whole again.  Mostly it was the hardcore gym time that lifted me up.  Either way I wanted to share with all you fine folks and wish you each equal success in your journey.

I am so happy for you.  Not only am I happy for the peace you have found but also the inspiration it gives other members here.  I am 1 month out from an 8-month relationship, and have achieved similar peace (and am a gym addict, quit drinking, engaged at work, all big positives!) and that is an exact proportion to yours (I'm a numbers geek).  1 month of recovery for every 8 in the relationship? Not bad.  But every case is different.  I wish hope and strength to all the members of our family and community here. 

And keep it up in the gym, ReluctantSurvivor! "What do you bench, brah?" (Kidding... ) Exercise + therapy + family & friends + healthy eating = Success and Recovery!