is it true that like my ex most BPDs are great at sex?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

This is me high-fiving myself in the mirror... .

This gave me a good laugh, I'm high-fiving you too!

[Pingo]

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

This is me high-fiving myself in the mirror... .

This gave me a good laugh, I'm high-fiving you too!

[guy4caligirl]

My ex  use to Shout " Next " after every long sex Session , never called it making love !

[Heartandsole]

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

As a point of clarification, the freedom I refer to is to be away from the devaluation and demeaning verbal abuse.  I too have been told that I am no good in the sack, go read books, get a clue etc.  Just put down so badly that I didn't care to try anymore.  It was sick.  In the beginning she lied to me about how great I was during  the ideation phase which is also so damaging and unhelpful.  

So I "starved myself" because I am a good guy and monogomous inside a marriage, not even eating Ramen  There was plenty of passion in the beginning.  

I can remember her telling me that sometimes girls just want to be "taken and ravaged" by a "real man"  Obviously that wasn't me.  So one time I got more dominant and physical and just tried to throw some more spice in the bedroom.   Yeah- later she accused me of raping her... .What the heck?  There was never even a "no or stop" or "simmer down" at the time.  Unbelievable... .wait no-- totally believable once you wrap your head around the BPD NPD mindset.  Just sick- that's what it is!

And thanks Pingo! 

For everyone that thinks that sex isn't going to be as passionate as it was with their BPDex... .be reminded that it takes two to tango.  Bring the party, don't go to the party!  Could it be that you confused passion with being used as a sex object for their gratification because they are Hedonistic? 

Maybe TMI but it's when I start to be concerned about "just me" is when I light the afterburner, girls can do this for longer than guys!  Something to contemplate.

[Deeno02]

I dont know what it was. A series of quickies because there were 5 kids all over the place? Yep. Very few passionate times, but even then, all about her. Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

[fromheeltoheal]

Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

That's good Deeno, you're processing your way out of it.  What's next?

[Deeno02]

Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

That's good Deeno, you're processing your way out of it.  What's next?

Beats me, kind of a ___ day... .

[caughtnreleased]

how about... .do pwBPD date people who are GREAT at sex? My experienced opinion? yes!

[JohnLove]

I dont know what it was. A series of quickies because there were 5 kids all over the place? Yep. Very few passionate times, but even then, all about her. Whatever, sick of talking about this ___... .

I have said exactly the same thing TO my BPDgf in times of stress and conflict where the problem couldn't be resolved amicably. The issues that the non has (to deal with) as well as the crap that a pwBPD puts on you tends to leave you feeling this way... .especially when you (or them) have left the relationship and YOU ARE LEFT HOLDING THEIR BAGGAGE.

I know where you're at Deeno02. Keep going. It only gets better. 

[Trog]

Let's not forget that many of us are so banged up, battered and bruised by the time we extract ourselves from our disordered ex, we may not be in a great place to attract what we want, or be a good judge of what we get.  I enjoy sex as much as the next guy, but I don't give a ---- if the filet mignon taste great in jail, I'll take Ramen noodles and freedom everytime.

As a point of clarification, the freedom I refer to is to be away from the devaluation and demeaning verbal abuse.  I too have been told that I am no good in the sack, go read books, get a clue etc.  Just put down so badly that I didn't care to try anymore.  It was sick.  In the beginning she lied to me about how great I was during  the ideation phase which is also so damaging and unhelpful.  

So I "starved myself" because I am a good guy and monogomous inside a marriage, not even eating Ramen  There was plenty of passion in the beginning.  

I can remember her telling me that sometimes girls just want to be "taken and ravaged" by a "real man"  Obviously that wasn't me.  So one time I got more dominant and physical and just tried to throw some more spice in the bedroom.   Yeah- later she accused me of raping her... .What the heck?  There was never even a "no or stop" or "simmer down" at the time.  Unbelievable... .wait no-- totally believable once you wrap your head around the BPD NPD mindset.  Just sick- that's what it is!

And thanks Pingo! 

For everyone that thinks that sex isn't going to be as passionate as it was with their BPDex... .be reminded that it takes two to tango.  Bring the party, don't go to the party!  Could it be that you confused passion with being used as a sex object for their gratification because they are Hedonistic? 

Maybe TMI but it's when I start to be concerned about "just me" is when I light the afterburner, girls can do this for longer than guys!  Something to contemplate.

Wow, this mirrors my experience exactly. Also told I was the best one day to not knowing what to do in bed after the marriage, also told to read books, also told she wanted to be 'taken' and then when I did it accused of hurting and rape and as you say,there was no protest at the time, only afterwards. It's obv just more leverage to keep us bound in guilt.

There's something I don't understand though, why go to all this bloody effort, I was already committed to her, acting in this way was the catalyst for losing me, I know prior partners have also left her similarly, some running away to other countries, most just cutting all contact with her. I understand action=consequences, if I'm horrible to someone, if I make them feel badly it's not nice, you feel bad and you increase the chance of that person not wanting to be around. My ex is fairly intelligent, why can't she learn! I guess they just get more pleasure in hurting people, it's so weird!

[Visitor]

My one wasn’t good in bed she was just accommodating. As soon as she learned about something I like she would implement it into our sex sessions.

This would be fun as it was quite kinky and felt good. What she wasn’t very good with is foreplay and slowing things down to make things last longer. It was all about the orgasm and getting off as quickly as possible.

My non-ex was great in bed but she hadn’t had that much experience. She was good because I am good at communicating what I like and don’t like. I am also good at finding out what my girlfriend likes so I can please her.

Sex with my non always got better and never boring. Sex with my BPD was exciting at first but started to get boring. In the end I would say it was one step up from masturbating.

I’ve heard about these crazy girls being good all the time but its just because they are willing to take the lead and be adventurous. There is absolutely no reason why the sex can’t be just as good with a non-crazy.

All you need to do is communicate with your partner and be willing to try things out.