I deleted pics of her...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So I had hundreds of pics of my ex in varying states of undress. I really used to enjoy photographing her at the time and she did too.

I thought about it and realized that there is no good reason to keep those pics. I don't even really want to look at her because that person isn't who I thought she was. So I finally deleted them from my phone and computer last night and it feels good.

Just another clue that this is not any type of normal relationship in which you want to keep good memories of the person after you're not together anymore. I don't want any evidence.

[SpringInMyStep]

So I had hundreds of pics of my ex in varying states of undress. I really used to enjoy photographing her at the time and she did too.

I thought about it and realized that there is no good reason to keep those pics. I don't even really want to look at her because that person isn't who I thought she was. So I finally deleted them from my phone and computer last night and it feels good.

Just another clue that this is not any type of normal relationship in which you want to keep good memories of the person after you're not together anymore. I don't want any evidence.

[Deeno02]

Mine was so embarassed of me that there were only 3 photos of us in existence after 16 months, which Im sure by now are history. Oh fu*king well.

[SpringInMyStep]

embarrassed of you? I'm sure she wasn't, but it probably came off that way because all of the focus had to be on her. my wife never gave me compliments about appearance, but she had to be the diva at all times.

[Deeno02]

embarrassed of you? I'm sure she wasn't, but it probably came off that way because all of the focus had to be on her. my wife never gave me compliments about appearance, but she had to be the diva at all times.

Im a Veteran and Im pretty beat up, got tons of tattoos and although I have a good job, make good money and a very loving caring man, in the 16 months together I have only met her friends 4 times. We never did anything with other couples and since her ex made a crap ton of money, they lived in the ritzy areas of town,(thats why she could be a stay at home mom with 5 kids) hanging with people who can afford to rent out a whole club for a birthday party, buying me expensive shirts to wear, and other things. I did address that to her, ignored. Im not from those circles, never have been. No pictures of us on FB. No relationship status change, so yes, she was embarassed of me. I was merely the confidence builder while she rebuilt herself. Hard to swallow, but true.

[SpringInMyStep]

sorry Deeno : (

This whole situation is hard for all of us because we realize now that they didn't really value who we are... .just what we could do for them.

[Deeno02]

sorry Deeno : (

This whole situation is hard for all of us because we realize now that they didn't really value who we are... .just what we could do for them.

Yep. Figured that out pretty quick. Once I floundered, I was painted black and just couldnt do anything right. She broke me mentally, emotionally and physically because of this abuse. Well, got nothing in front of me but good, her? not so much... .

[SpringInMyStep]

oh and I have tattoos too and don't think there's anything wrong with that! 

[Deeno02]

oh and I have tattoos too and don't think there's anything wrong with that! 

Lol! Some people aren't purveyors of good art!

[SpringInMyStep]

oh and I have tattoos too and don't think there's anything wrong with that! 

Lol! Some people aren't purveyors of good art!

exactly!

[Raybo48]

I'm pretty sure we all were the confidence builders to our BPDx, I know I was.  They are like a body without a skeleton much of the time so I always found myself propping her up.  She'd call me morning, noon, or night.  At work, when I was out with my friends, sleeping in the middle of the night for a "pep talk" about a catastrophe in her mind that couldn't wait for another second, and god forbid if I didn't take her call.

I remember once I was in Salt Lake City visiting a high school buddy and she was having major withdrawals from drinking Vodka for 10 straight days.  So she calls me around 10:00pm and she literally kept me on the phone with her the entire night (her mother flew in from AZ to be with her, but she wasn't good enough I guess) into the next morning so she could go through her withdrawals and have me be her support system.  

Yea, good luck to the next guy with all that comes with her.

There are no directions found in that box!

[Deeno02]

I'm pretty sure we all were the confidence builders to our BPDx, I know I was.  They are like a body without a skeleton much of the time so I always found myself propping her up.  She'd call me morning, noon, or night.  At work, when I was out with my friends, sleeping in the middle of the night for a "pep talk" about a catastrophe in her mind that couldn't wait for another second, and god forbid if I didn't take her call.

I remember once I was in Salt Lake City visiting a high school buddy and she was having major withdrawals from drinking Vodka for 10 straight days.  So she calls me around 10:00pm and she literally kept me on the phone with her the entire night (her mother flew in from AZ to be with her, but she wasn't good enough I guess) into the next morning so she could go through her withdrawals and have me be her support system.  

Yea, good luck to the next guy with all that comes with her.

There are no directions found in that box!

I should have known better.I was the rebound after her husband dumped her. She persued me. Got her through her divorce, alimony issues, death of her mother, out of control kids, encouraged her to go back and coach volleyball as a means of work, encouraged her to get in certifications in it, took her kids to their sporting events while she coached VB and all I get is a kick in the nuts and a "I finally know what I want". Thank you... please pull forward... .

[SpringInMyStep]

There are no directions found in that box!

That's funny because one of my friends used to say that she needs an instruction manual. Seriously, there were words people weren't allowed to say around her. Who does that?

She also consumed all of my time and I let her. I'd get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her if she was freaking out or having bad dreams (even though I had to work in the morning), I'd call in sick to be home with her if she was scared, I'd drop everything to attend to her needs. So naturally when we stop doing these things, we're "evil" and "unsafe" to be around. Well that's fine by me because I don't want to be around her anymore.

[Deeno02]

There are no directions found in that box!

That's funny because one of my friends used to say that she needs an instruction manual. Seriously, there were words people weren't allowed to say around her. Who does that?

She also consumed all of my time and I let her. I'd get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her if she was freaking out or having bad dreams (even though I had to work in the morning), I'd call in sick to be home with her if she was scared, I'd drop everything to attend to her needs. So naturally when we stop doing these things, we're "evil" and "unsafe" to be around. Well that's fine by me because I don't want to be around her anymore.

Yep, between her fibromyalgia, anxiety, emergency xanax refills, sick kids, out of control kid, and on top of the chaos in her regular life, I was forever running to and from. Again, kick in the nuts and ... .next please. Or as she so nicely put it"When Im done, Im done". Yep, lets see how that works out with you... .

[Raybo48]

There are no directions found in that box!

That's funny because one of my friends used to say that she needs an instruction manual. Seriously, there were words people weren't allowed to say around her. Who does that?

She also consumed all of my time and I let her. I'd get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her if she was freaking out or having bad dreams (even though I had to work in the morning), I'd call in sick to be home with her if she was scared, I'd drop everything to attend to her needs. So naturally when we stop doing these things, we're "evil" and "unsafe" to be around. Well that's fine by me because I don't want to be around her anymore.

Yep, between her fibromyalgia, anxiety, emergency xanax refills, sick kids, out of control kid, and on top of the chaos in her regular life, I was forever running to and from. Again, kick in the nuts and ... .next please. Or as she so nicely put it"When Im done, Im done". Yep, lets see how that works out with you... .

Oh Jesus, I heard "when im done i'm done" too.  Unfortunately, if that were true 75% of them wouldn't try and recycle all the damn time.  I'm glad yours hasn't for your sake.   You did a ton for her man.   Mine loved the Xanax too and liked to mix it with Vodka... .I was half expecting to walk in on her dead when she was pill popping and drinking.

[Deeno02]

There are no directions found in that box!

That's funny because one of my friends used to say that she needs an instruction manual. Seriously, there were words people weren't allowed to say around her. Who does that?

She also consumed all of my time and I let her. I'd get up with her in the middle of the night to comfort her if she was freaking out or having bad dreams (even though I had to work in the morning), I'd call in sick to be home with her if she was scared, I'd drop everything to attend to her needs. So naturally when we stop doing these things, we're "evil" and "unsafe" to be around. Well that's fine by me because I don't want to be around her anymore.

Yep, between her fibromyalgia, anxiety, emergency xanax refills, sick kids, out of control kid, and on top of the chaos in her regular life, I was forever running to and from. Again, kick in the nuts and ... .next please. Or as she so nicely put it"When Im done, Im done". Yep, lets see how that works out with you... .

Oh Jesus, I heard "when im done i'm done" too.  Unfortunately, if that were true 75% of them wouldn't try and recycle all the damn time.  I'm glad yours hasn't for your sake.   You did a ton for her man.   Mine loved the Xanax too and liked to mix it with Vodka... .I was half expecting to walk in on her dead when she was pill popping and drinking.

Yep, Vodka Tonic for her... .

[SpringInMyStep]

oh mind was a suicidal mess all the time, yet somehow she managed to keep this from her medical doctor and he prescribed her xanax, sleeping pills, and other stuff. I had to keep her pills locked up so she wouldn't off herself while I wasn't looking.

[Pingo]

There are no directions found in that box!

That's funny because one of my friends used to say that she needs an instruction manual. Seriously, there were words people weren't allowed to say around her. Who does that?

Oh yes!  There was a list of things I was not allowed to talk about or mention... .I was only allowed to listen to his long drawn out stories of his life (good & bad) & I wasn't allowed to compare anything about my life to his, as his was apparently very unique and special.  I used to actually say that it was the most high-maintenance r/s I had ever had.  Spent most of my time trying to follow the rules or there would be hell to pay otherwise!

Good for you to delete those pictures, that signifies growth and moving on!

[Raybo48]

oh mind was a suicidal mess all the time, yet somehow she managed to keep this from her medical doctor and he prescribed her xanax, sleeping pills, and other stuff. I had to keep her pills locked up so she wouldn't off herself while I wasn't looking.

I took her pills and hid them a few times... She soon realized I was doing it and started to hide them from me when she started drinking.  So one night she had them hidden in her basement; I noticed because she came up with one in her hand.  She became violent that night and I thought there was going to be a confrontation so I left and went home.  Then about two hours later I got a call from the police, she told them I stole her pills.  Even after she got sober she accused me and that went on for two months until she found them in the spot in the basement where she put them that night.  She was just too damn drunk to remember and it was easier to try and get me in trouble with the police.  I wasn't pleasant with the cop that night I can tell you that.  I asked him for his badge number and asked him why he was believing someone who was bombed out of their mind.  He did admit she was wasted, DUH!   It's just one story of dozens of crazy making behavior events she put me through.

[WhatTheFrank]

There are no directions found in that box!

The directions are pump then dump, but it's displayed like one of those IKEA drawings that make no sense. So we spend too long trying to figure out the instructions, meanwhile we've gotten too far to just completely trash the thing and can't take it back to the store... .