Do they still rage at others once you've broken up?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Just curious, does anyone know if they still rage at someone else once the relationship has ended? A friend, family member, or is it just isolated usually to the significant other when in relationships?

My exBPDgf only used to rage when she was drunk, and not every time (she was usually drunk at least twice a week). She usually raged at me around every 3 months.

I know when we caught up with her parents she was very very snappy and angry with her mom. I could never understand, because her mom seemed nice and reasonable to me.

[parisian]

Just curious, does anyone know if they still rage at someone else once the relationship has ended? A friend, family member, or is it just isolated usually to the significant other when in relationships?

My exBPDgf only used to rage when she was drunk, and not every time (she was usually drunk at least twice a week). She usually raged at me around every 3 months.

I know when we caught up with her parents she was very very snappy and angry with her mom. I could never understand, because her mom seemed nice and reasonable to me.

[Raybo48]

Mine was on a football FB group (she's a Packer fan) and if someone gave her too much stick she would rage at them and call them all kinds of names and then block them.  I've seen her do it to FB friends as well and some family members and certain friends. 

The bottom line is if she gets any sort of resistance and gets challenged emotionally it doesn't matter who it is, she will verbally assault them and cut them out of her life so I really had nothing to do with her rages. 

I honestly think it's getting worse for her regarding emotional control, and in part it probably has to do with her internal struggle to stay sober.  I think it's coming out in very ugly ways right along with her BPD.

[BrokenFamily]

In the case of my ex yes... .I've picked her up in tears after a night of fight with the replacement, gotten calls of her crying after a night of fighting with her mother and heard several other stories of her having issues with others. My ex would also rage when she's drunk. Despite this fact I'm still to blame for the relationship and our family being torn apart. Denial Denial Denail... .It's not just a river in Egypt : (

[Craydar]

Good question. I have no idea who took on the role of doormat after I was discarded. One theory is that she felt relieved that I (the person who caused all of her misery) was gone and she could get a fresh start being happy with all or most people in her life.

[Craydar]

Good question. I have no idea who took on the role of doormat after I was discarded. One theory is that she felt relieved that I (the person who caused all of her misery) was gone and she could get a fresh start being happy with all or most people in her life.

[clydegriffith]

Of course they do, that's what the replacement is for. In my experience the BPDx can not ever be single for the very reason that she needs someone to rage at.

[myself]

I saw my ex rage at her best friend, complete strangers, inanimate objects... .She did it before being with me, while with me/aimed at me, and I'd bet everything I have that she's been doing it since we broke up and will continue. Because she doesn't seek real help for what she goes through.

[Bak86]

Not really raging, but she is irritated by everything and everyone. Makes rude remarks to coworkers and strangers.

[BrokenFamily]

Drinking often brought our the rage in my ex but now that I think about it never really in public or around other people. It's as if she could control it as not to make a scene and embarrass herself in front of others but when it was just the two of us she didn't hold back.

[parisian]

BrokenFamily, mine raged in public and private.

It was always when she was drunk. She screamed multiple times at me at a restaurant on Valentine's Day. I was embarrassed for her and me.

She has got into aggressive conversations with my friends when she was drunk. They were agreeing with her on an issue but she saw it as them disagreeing.

She did a similar thing when we were at one of her acquantances' (not a close friend) house for dinner - she turned up extremely drunk. There were other people there she did not know, and exactly the same thing happened - we were all having a laugh and a chat about whatever, and she took offense to something one of the guests said, screwed up her face and pulled her head back as if in indignation about what was said, and the got quite aggressive in how she spoke.  

Sometimes I felt like it was as a result of anxiety from being around people she did not know very well. She never behaved like that around her own 'core' group of friends - that was when she was the charming self. It made me wonder if her friends ever got to see or experience that behaviour.

[Turkish]

No one close is usually exempt. I saw her do it to family members (which is one reason why I think they sympathized with me through all of this), and even to our children. Thankfully, her anger pretty much stopped being directed towards me once she got her paramour, in combination with me establishing clear boundaries on what we would talk about while she still lived with us for the last months.

With her, outright "rages" were rare. Her anger was more like a smouldering pile of embers which would burn just the same. She only raged at S4 once that I know of after we split, poor little guy. In general, it was more of what I think Bak86 is talking about, "I'm irritated, so I'm going to act like it," with a tone of voice that indicates everyone else is an idiot for not seeing things her way. I saw it during quite a few family get-togethers. I may be understating things, because I tend to do that... .

She's on the positive side of her happy baseline now with her Love as best that I can tell. I know he's seen it. Every boyfriend has.  It still doesn't save the kids from having issues with her anger. As S4 said the other day in front of me, her and D2, "Mommy, you need to be more patient!" Poor kids!

[Craydar]

Not really raging, but she is irritated by everything and everyone. Makes rude remarks to coworkers and strangers.

This makes sense. If someone is not emotionally invested in the life of the pwBPD, they would just walk away. This can be problematic with co-workers. HR usually has a low tolerance for bullying

[fred6]

No one close is usually exempt. I saw her do it to family members (which is one reason why I think they sympathized with me through all of this)

Like I just posted in another thread

I noticed the same thing. My ex's family members were pretty understanding of things when I talked to them after she split from me. Maybe they were just patronizing me until I was out of the picture. They didn't seem to want to get involved to any extent though. They just let her do her thing and they just went about their business. That's one issue that I have with them. To my knowledge, no one ever told her that she was wrong about anything. No one ever stood up for me. It seems like they just looked the other way, almost like they were scared of her or something. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway, she would have still done whatever she wanted to do, it's just the point of it.