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Author Topic: Question - Have any of you not heard from and exBPD/NPD ever again?  (Read 6887 times)
Sandman1881
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 106



« on: November 25, 2014, 01:29:56 PM »

Or do they ALWAYS return at some point?

I could care less about my replacement. She was ragging on him before we broke up with a comment like "Oh people from |THAT STATE| are all trashy... .blah, blah, blah, fire, fire, smoke. I thought, at the time, she was taking about me. I now know otherwise. It's truly remarkable how it gets them off to talk about someone they are cheating with right in your face and they know your oblivious and make you believe that they are talking about you when they obviously are not. That's wrong on so many levels.

The saddest part as non is the belief that they need to hurt us in order to maintain their sanity. Truly a painful illness to be that out of touch with another human being. Especially one that genuinely loves her but (with the exception of the cheating - I told her one time and I will not return - and even though I now believe it was impossible for her to avoid - my boundaries have been reestablished and) I will not for any reason take her back into my life. I value myself more than this relationship and her problems are once again her own. I can not fix this and I have to accept that.

How many more times will I have to shake my head?

I was a great supply for her and an excellent servant. There is an OP in place for my protection (thank you GOD). And I know that OP has disturbed the near perfect cycle of abuse. And I'm mildly sadistic, so I miss it too. And her arrest and OP abruptly ended her ability to continue to triangulate. But I'm wondering if the OP and the real threat of an additional arrest is enough to keep her from me. She has lost so many of her perfectly prearranged plans and schemes to continue the cycles and take this to her required next level. No way she was turning her back for good. She was going to enjoy continuing to hurt me after our final break - and I took that ability away from her. So now I don't know if I'm back to being idolized for that action, or even more black then the empty depths of her soul.

There has been no contact from her with the exception of one forwarded text that I sent to her blaming myself for everything. I sent a few texts to her shortly after about new information I discovered (more lies) a few days earlier. But since my meeting with the Assistant DA I have remained silent. 48 days no contact. And so has she. Although she did harass the hell out of me via third party for nearly 2 weeks. So much so that I had to change phones.

Thank you all in advance. Stay strong!
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Waifed
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1026



« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2014, 01:38:20 PM »

Its been 14 months.  I haven't tried to contact her and she hasn't tried to contact me.  I would be very surprised if I ever heard from her again.  She has strong avoidant traits so I believe she is afraid of how I might react so she avoids it altogether.  I feel pretty confident that if I contacted her she would respond and possibly even try to rekindle depending on her current situation.  She asked if I would still see her if I ever got remarried, when I told her I was leaving because she cheated.  I told her I didn't cheat.  That's just how she works.  Who knows for sure though.  It's not gonna happen.  I am in a much better place now and hopefully she is too.
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Popcorn71
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Posts: 483



« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2014, 01:48:11 PM »

It's been 15 months since my xBPDh left for the replacement.  For the first couple of weeks he contacted me and I got several texts and phonecalls that apparently were 'mistakes' and he meant to call somebody else.

Since then he has only contacted me a couple of times, each time requesting something that he left behind.  Since I told him his stuff has been thrown away, he has not contacted me again.

However, a friend of mine has told me that my ex always asks about me when he sees him.

I really think that however long it takes, when he splits up with the replacement, I think I'll hear from him again - but not until then.
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Deeno02
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1526



« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2014, 01:49:55 PM »

Im still a baby in all this, only about 3 months out, but no. Not a sighting or have I heard from her at all. And Im good with that. Unfortunately, shes my sons VB coach so around March/April time frame, I will have to be around her at games... .but from a distance... .a long ass distance...
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Confusedmae

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« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2014, 02:13:17 PM »

My ex and I went for over 2 years without any contact so it can, and probably will, happen somewhere down the line.  I find it best to be prepared so you don't falter, unless you really want to step back into the ring.
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DangIthurts
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Posts: 181


« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2014, 02:28:14 PM »

My ex and I went for over 2 years without any contact so it can, and probably will, happen somewhere down the line.  I find it best to be prepared so you don't falter, unless you really want to step back into the ring.

I'm kinda with deeno young at this. Mine has an endless supply pool to pull new people from and judging by the indifference shown towards me as our contacted lessened to now having a replacement already.

I see more runner traits in her than going back to the well regardless of the effort I gave, because the effort only matters if somewhere in her Brian she acknowledges it happened.

Now the exception is that after the initial break when I fully believed I'd never hear from her she contacted me two days later [very early in it though]. So I guess she's quite capable of coming back. We'll see I think I'm so devalued and uncared for that it won't happen.

I'd step back in the ring now who knows if in 6 months I'll come back here and laugh at what I wrote, or feel the same. I just do know I'm the kinda person that if she had a problem be it now or in a year I'd try to find some way to help. Which probably is a bad trait to have with these types... .Unless she just stays gone.

I think I'm most upset at myself that is I have a better sense finding this site on how to deal with it all and I'm just down because I feel like I'll never get that chance. Btw, in the meantime I'm moving forward and if she comes I'll evaluate where I'm at and what should be said. For now the replacement is perfect, I'm blocked on all social media outlets, and I think it'll be that way for quiet some time.
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