Today's my birthday, thanksgiving, and been terribly hard

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Today is my birthday. For some reason I was really hoping I would hear from her today. It kind of sunk in this morning that I wouldn't hear from her, now the day is almost over and I haven't heard a single thing from her. It has been 2 months post b/u and since  NC started. It has been 1 month to the day since she last tried to contact me, and when she did it was all about HER feelings.

Last year she gave me a spectacular birthday, she put so much thought and time into it. And this year I didn't hear a thing from her. It hurt so badly. Especially when I heard from my cousin during our thanksgiving dinner that she saw her at a party. My cousin asked her about me and my exBPDgf acted like she didn't even care and seemed very happy. My exBPDgf is very extroverted and loves being around people, was probably very happy. It hurt so badly. I had to compose myself and put on a mask until the dinner was over.

It has been a pretty terrible birthday/holiday. Not even a small text message wishing me happy birthday, nothing. Hearing her having so much fun and being around so many people is making it worse. I try to focus on myself but thoughts of her CONSUME my mind. And obviously she doesn't even think about me

[antonio1213]

Today is my birthday. For some reason I was really hoping I would hear from her today. It kind of sunk in this morning that I wouldn't hear from her, now the day is almost over and I haven't heard a single thing from her. It has been 2 months post b/u and since  NC started. It has been 1 month to the day since she last tried to contact me, and when she did it was all about HER feelings.

Last year she gave me a spectacular birthday, she put so much thought and time into it. And this year I didn't hear a thing from her. It hurt so badly. Especially when I heard from my cousin during our thanksgiving dinner that she saw her at a party. My cousin asked her about me and my exBPDgf acted like she didn't even care and seemed very happy. My exBPDgf is very extroverted and loves being around people, was probably very happy. It hurt so badly. I had to compose myself and put on a mask until the dinner was over.

It has been a pretty terrible birthday/holiday. Not even a small text message wishing me happy birthday, nothing. Hearing her having so much fun and being around so many people is making it worse. I try to focus on myself but thoughts of her CONSUME my mind. And obviously she doesn't even think about me

[Turkish]

I'm sorry that you are feeling the abandonment projection (that's a way I look at it) from her. Happy birthday all the same.

What are you going to do for you today?

[antonio1213]

I'm sorry that you are feeling the abandonment projection (that's a way I look at it) from her. Happy birthday all the same.

What are you going to do for you today?

I guess eat and hangout with my brothers.

Probably expecting too much out of her to contact me today. Though I might not respond it would at least make me feel better, like she actually cared.

[ShakinMyHead]

Happy Birthday Antonio! I'm sorry you are hurting. I understand how you feel. I am 1 month NC once again from my exBPDbf, and 2 weeks ago no word on what would've been our 2 year anniversary, and nothing today Thanksgiving. I thought I might get some fishing text from him, but, because he's got strong Narcissistic tendencies, I also expected he might not "Give in" first. Ya see, I'm pretty sure he's giving me the silent treatment, but I have gone No contact. I'm not so sure they don't care. I actually think they like to inflict pain. And what is more painful then withholding on special days? I mean this guy use to celebrate, 1 week together, 3 weeks, 2 months etc…Your ex would act especially cold in front of someone you know. In fact my exBPDbf would make sure that my friend saw him with another woman, so that would definitely get back to me. The more pain and withholding they can inflict, the more they think we will come running after them. It may work for a few recycles, while we are actually trying to figure out what type of pervasively insecure creature we are with, that has to instill fear and insecurity to hold on to us, as oppose to love and kindness. I know how painful this is, but, it is only because we've responded to the negativity in the past that we all lasted with them as long as we did. I bet you dollars to donuts, they all think they will hear from us. Hang in there. I know it doesn't seem it now, but contrary to popular belief, you have received the greatest Birthday/Thanksgiving gift ever. If they walk away and find another target, you are free to find true love which we all deserve. "Man's rejection, is God's protection." You are going to be ok... Just breath through the pain, today is almost over. Again, Wishing you so much happiness, love and health in the coming year. Happy Birthday Antonio! Hugs, SMH

[Hope0807]

Happy Birthday Antonio!  Disordered persons are incapable of feeling what we do and the harsh reality is…that birthday she put so much work into and you thought was a loving gesture toward you…was all really about her and her ego.  Once you learn more about how screwy they're wired and what parts of the brain are so drastically different from ours, you'll realize you never stood a chance.  The pull we continue to feel toward the illusion of what we believed they were is the equivalent of our brains being addicted to them.  Work to break the addiction…it's an unhealthy one.

I'm oftentimes soothed by other stories on here, but I don't know if this will make you feel any better:  I gave my ex the last of my reproductive years and listed the home I poured money into over the years and hoped to grow old in the day before my birthday.  The next day (on my birthday) he sent me a simple text that said, "happy birthday" - that text was a hundred times more sickening than if he hadn't sent one at all.  Thank goodness for your brothers to help pass some time.  I didn't have a soul.  Heal, heal, and many blessings and hugs being sent your way.  Your birthday will bring you smiles again in the future.  Hang on to that.

[Hadlee]

Happy birthday to you