Do they just have to have the BPD last word

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I split up with my BPD gf just over a month ago now the usual texts from both of us in the wake of it all I hate you now etc back and forth . I got what I thought was the last text from her that I didn't reply to it then went quite.2 days later I got a text saying do you not have any thing to say to that then ? Then had a flash back of maybe I'm the crazy one like you do after you leave them . I ignored it then got another saying well ! So I did reply saying what are you talking about to witch she replied you text me today and I was replying. Again thinking I had gone crazy ! I replied with you now have a new bf please don't text me anymore I am now moving on to . Hour later she texts saying her new bf is kind ,loving,gentle he looks at me not through me sees me sees what I need and gives it to me . To witch I also ignored another hour passes and text from her again saying so your f*****g off to another country ! I have nothing to say to you anymore you are abandoning me and the kids ! (They are her kids) one of my mates let it slip my mistake that I possibly May of got a job in Australia .

So I'm say ther thinking if she is happy with the new guy and she hates me why is she worried about moving? Or even still texting me ?

Another 2 days passes and I text her saying I'm sorry I ended up being like this I'm glad your new bf is great but the texts have to stop in order for me to move on good luck with everything. 3 days later got a phone call from her saying you have to stop texting me it's over I'm sorry I never want to see you or hear from you again goodbye .

I got off the phone thinking what the hell ! Please tell me what that was all about for a second or so I thought I was the crazy one again.

Any one on her had the same ? And what's your opinion. I've remained no contact now for nearly 2 weeks.

[Splitblack4good]

I split up with my BPD gf just over a month ago now the usual texts from both of us in the wake of it all I hate you now etc back and forth . I got what I thought was the last text from her that I didn't reply to it then went quite.2 days later I got a text saying do you not have any thing to say to that then ? Then had a flash back of maybe I'm the crazy one like you do after you leave them . I ignored it then got another saying well ! So I did reply saying what are you talking about to witch she replied you text me today and I was replying. Again thinking I had gone crazy ! I replied with you now have a new bf please don't text me anymore I am now moving on to . Hour later she texts saying her new bf is kind ,loving,gentle he looks at me not through me sees me sees what I need and gives it to me . To witch I also ignored another hour passes and text from her again saying so your f*****g off to another country ! I have nothing to say to you anymore you are abandoning me and the kids ! (They are her kids) one of my mates let it slip my mistake that I possibly May of got a job in Australia .

So I'm say ther thinking if she is happy with the new guy and she hates me why is she worried about moving? Or even still texting me ?

Another 2 days passes and I text her saying I'm sorry I ended up being like this I'm glad your new bf is great but the texts have to stop in order for me to move on good luck with everything. 3 days later got a phone call from her saying you have to stop texting me it's over I'm sorry I never want to see you or hear from you again goodbye .

I got off the phone thinking what the hell ! Please tell me what that was all about for a second or so I thought I was the crazy one again.

Any one on her had the same ? And what's your opinion. I've remained no contact now for nearly 2 weeks.

[Deeno02]

I split up with my BPD gf just over a month ago now the usual texts from both of us in the wake of it all I hate you now etc back and forth . I got what I thought was the last text from her that I didn't reply to it then went quite.2 days later I got a text saying do you not have any thing to say to that then ? Then had a flash back of maybe I'm the crazy one like you do after you leave them . I ignored it then got another saying well ! So I did reply saying what are you talking about to witch she replied you text me today and I was replying. Again thinking I had gone crazy ! I replied with you now have a new bf please don't text me anymore I am now moving on to . Hour later she texts saying her new bf is kind ,loving,gentle he looks at me not through me sees me sees what I need and gives it to me . To witch I also ignored another hour passes and text from her again saying so your f*****g off to another country ! I have nothing to say to you anymore you are abandoning me and the kids ! (They are her kids) one of my mates let it slip my mistake that I possibly May of got a job in Australia .

So I'm say ther thinking if she is happy with the new guy and she hates me why is she worried about moving? Or even still texting me ?

Another 2 days passes and I text her saying I'm sorry I ended up being like this I'm glad your new bf is great but the texts have to stop in order for me to move on good luck with everything. 3 days later got a phone call from her saying you have to stop texting me it's over I'm sorry I never want to see you or hear from you again goodbye .

I got off the phone thinking what the hell ! Please tell me what that was all about for a second or so I thought I was the crazy one again.

Any one on her had the same ? And what's your opinion. I've remained no contact now for nearly 2 weeks.

You need to go non contact. Block, delete, shred, throughout, delete and block again, rinse or repeat. If she still does this now, you wont find any peace. Shes not worth you spending any more time on.

[Splitblack4good]

I haven't heard anymore from her since and I have stayed NC I'm still stumped now though do they have to have the last word or is she really thinking if it all goes wrong with the bf she will try to get me back. And knows she can't ?

[Deeno02]

I haven't heard anymore from her since and I have stayed NC I'm still stumped now though do they have to have the last word or is she really thinking if it all goes wrong with the bf she will try to get me back. And knows she can't ?

I dont think she realizes your serious. Most of them dont.

[Splitblack4good]

I haven't heard anymore from her since and I have stayed NC I'm still stumped now though do they have to have the last word or is she really thinking if it all goes wrong with the bf she will try to get me back. And knows she can't ?

I dont think she realizes your serious. Most of them dont.

she knows I'm serious although I've not heard anything since she is still rambling on to one of our mutual freinds about me poss moving to Australia! I'm Wondering if I havnt heard the last from her yet ?

[Splitblack4good]

Another thing why do they remain so angry for so long ?

[Deeno02]

Another thing why do they remain so angry for so long ?

Guilt, I believe... .

[Splitblack4good]

Another thing why do they remain so angry for so long ?

Guilt, I believe... .

guilt for what ? I ended it the other thing that has me stumped but might be over thinking it is she has put 2 new pics on her FB of her kissing and cuddling her new toy ! (For my benefit no doubt ) But hasn't deleted any pics of me- us Thers easily got to be 25 pics of me and us together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly.

[Mr Hollande]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

My ex hated this.  NC takes control out their hands and is blinding to them.  You are an escapee and why would anyone want to escape from them?  The truth is difficult for them to process.  They are left with your replacement - he can expect the raging but will have no idea why.  I think the guy I replaced (unknowingly since she assured me she had been single for 3 months) did the same thing (NC) and I then became the target for her rages.  They are very sick people.

[Deeno02]

Another thing why do they remain so angry for so long ?

Guilt, I believe... .

guilt for what ? I ended it the other thing that has me stumped but might be over thinking it is she has put 2 new pics on her FB of her kissing and cuddling her new toy ! (For my benefit no doubt ) But hasn't deleted any pics of me- us Thers easily got to be 25 pics of me and us together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly.

They are projecting the anger they have for themselves on to you. I've had it done to me so many times, I felt that I was the dysfunctional one...

[NYMike]

There last word is usually distorted.Mine got the last word this week and it was 200% my fault.I belong in a Mental Institution,i am the worst man ever,i am nuts and crazy and the list goes on and on.This comes from a woman who was loved dearly and well taken care of from myself.

This is a woman who pissed all over the red carpet I layed at her feet.This comes from a woman who has no credit,no money and who is on her azz and has nothing in life.This comes from a woman who is in a 100ft hole and screaming at me that I am a loser...

Hmmmmmmmmm... .My life is paid for.My beautiful home is paid for,my harly's are paid for and my business is paid for.My retirement is set and I am sober 20 years and doing well for myself... .

It hurts to hear her view me in such a way but I try so hard to just let her have her ''opinion'' of me and go on her smear cam·paign... .I think this is what she has to do to ''justify'' and ''irrationalize'' her illness and her actions and behaviors... .It's always someone elses fault in the end.

One of the biggest ''red flags'' I missed when I met her is she BLAMED every man for having a terrible life.2 ex husbands,Live In boyfriends,her childs father,her work,her neighbor,her friends and the list goes on and on...

Dummie NYMIKE MISSED IT and all I could see was how I could ''save the day'' and show her what a wonderful man I am and how all men are not jerk offs... .LMAO.There is no saving the day with these creatures...



noun

noun: smear campaign; plural noun: smear campaigns


a plan to discredit a public figure by making false or dubious accusations.

[Splitblack4good]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

That's probably why she rang and not text me . She asked me to delete her number but I did that already then she rang me ! Why do they keep your number besides the obvious? Towards the end come to think of it the day I ended it she had tried to sabotage the relationship that morning and 2 days before that by lying over something that had no meaning in a way she was pushing the limit so that I would end it they really do act strange I've given up trying to understand them I told her I was emotionally scared of her a few times while we we're together and she flipped that right round on me with that last call I told her to delete my number but I know full well she hasn't

[NYMike]

Another thing why do they remain so angry for so long ?

Guilt, I believe... .

guilt for what ? I ended it the other thing that has me stumped but might be over thinking it is she has put 2 new pics on her FB of her kissing and cuddling her new toy ! (For my benefit no doubt ) But hasn't deleted any pics of me- us Thers easily got to be 25 pics of me and us together she normaly deletes pics of her exes instantly.

They are projecting the anger they have for themselves on to you. I've had it done to me so many times, I felt that I was the dysfunctional one...

BINGO... .They are masters at Projection and Blame... .

[Splitblack4good]

Funny thing is 2 days before the end she said if we broke up she would regret it 6 months down the line and when I ended it she came out with I had no intention of getting back together with you anyway! Makes me laugh looking back on it the 6 month regret thing is probably coz she knows shel hack the new guy off and the new group of mates associated with this guy and the other thing I find weird the most is my favourite music she couldn't stand but with the new freinds they all like that style of music and she now can't get enough of it !

[Splitblack4good]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

i know this sounds wrong and kinda playing ther own games but I hope she does text at some point so I can ignore her but we will see.

[NYMike]

I stole this Quote... .

Quote from: christoff522 on December 03, 2014, 07:43:50 PM

I think for a BPD, we're like characters in a holodeck novel (star trek reference). We are real in the sense that we exist, we are people in the sense that we act and behave like people, but for a BPD the only real person is them. They can have a crush on us, or an infatuation on us, but when we become annoying they'll say "computer, delete character" - out of sight out of mind.

We exist for them and their benefit, if we are not beneficial anymore they begin to despise us, they'll resent their need for us, and so they cut off all those emotional bonds and move on. In order to avoid conflict they detach in private, and then run.

Did they love us? Not in the human sense, more in the "i love this car" sense, until the car breaks and they get a new one. Too much emotion is the terror hiding in the closet for a BPD, so they'll never truly let go and develop real emotional bonds - not with anyone. Its the burden that they will carry with them all their lives unless they get help.

[Splitblack4good]

I stole this Quote... .

Quote from: christoff522 on December 03, 2014, 07:43:50 PM

I think for a BPD, we're like characters in a holodeck novel (star trek reference). We are real in the sense that we exist, we are people in the sense that we act and behave like people, but for a BPD the only real person is them. They can have a crush on us, or an infatuation on us, but when we become annoying they'll say "computer, delete character" - out of sight out of mind.

We exist for them and their benefit, if we are not beneficial anymore they begin to despise us, they'll resent their need for us, and so they cut off all those emotional bonds and move on. In order to avoid conflict they detach in private, and then run.

Did they love us? Not in the human sense, more in the "i love this car" sense, until the car breaks and they get a new one. Too much emotion is the terror hiding in the closet for a BPD, so they'll never truly let go and develop real emotional bonds - not with anyone. Its the burden that they will carry with them all their lives unless they get help.

My ex was actually the other way round from start to finish regarding money etc she spoilt me rotten and didn't ask much in return other than my sanity! However that did give her an excuse after I ended it she said you done this on purpose you took what you could from me you took advantage of me then left ! Has anyone else's ex BPD paid for most things and not the (non) don't get me wrong I did pay my way bills etc but most goodies were bought by her

[Deeno02]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

i know this sounds wrong and kinda playing ther own games but I hope she does text at some point so I can ignore her but we will see.

I will see her again. I dont have a choice not to as she coaches my son in Volleyball. However, she will be met with professionalism and indifference to her existence. Im sick of this ___ and am not going to stand for it any longer. I dont deserve to feel bad for a failed relationship. I did the best I could with what I had in my tool belt. 90% of women would have been greatful to have a caring man. The other 10%? They have zero freaking clue what they want other than it must revolve around them. She is the one who needs to get her ___ together, not me.

[Deeno02]

I stole this Quote... .

Quote from: christoff522 on December 03, 2014, 07:43:50 PM

I think for a BPD, we're like characters in a holodeck novel (star trek reference). We are real in the sense that we exist, we are people in the sense that we act and behave like people, but for a BPD the only real person is them. They can have a crush on us, or an infatuation on us, but when we become annoying they'll say "computer, delete character" - out of sight out of mind.

We exist for them and their benefit, if we are not beneficial anymore they begin to despise us, they'll resent their need for us, and so they cut off all those emotional bonds and move on. In order to avoid conflict they detach in private, and then run.

Did they love us? Not in the human sense, more in the "i love this car" sense, until the car breaks and they get a new one. Too much emotion is the terror hiding in the closet for a BPD, so they'll never truly let go and develop real emotional bonds - not with anyone. Its the burden that they will carry with them all their lives unless they get help.

My ex was actually the other way round from start to finish regarding money etc she spoilt me rotten and didn't ask much in return other than my sanity! However that did give her an excuse after I ended it she said you done this on purpose you took what you could from me you took advantage of me then left ! Has anyone else's ex BPD paid for most things and not the (non) don't get me wrong I did pay my way bills etc but most goodies were bought by her

Outside of 5 shirts, 2 cups, 2 breakfests and 2 dinners, no, I paid for mostly everything, including pricey Chicago hotel stays.

[Splitblack4good]

Mine got the last word. She had the last word several times and I never replied. Yes, the last word was certainly hers but the last laugh was mine as she didn't get the reaction she wanted. Only silence. So let them have their last word(s) but try and make sure the last laugh, the upper hand if you like, is yours by giving them silence in return. They don't like that.

My ex hated this.  NC takes control out their hands and is blinding to them.  You are an escapee and why would anyone want to escape from them?  The truth is difficult for them to process.  They are left with your replacement - he can expect the raging but will have no idea why.  I think the guy I replaced (unknowingly since she assured me she had been single for 3 months) did the same thing (NC) and I then became the target for her rages.  They are very sick people.

talking of escape and as to why they keep your number as a just in case ! Do they forget about all the things they say to you during your break up ? I know my ex had a terrible memory I also think my ex from what I can gather has isolated the new guy already all of our mutual freinds have said they have not seen her in or him in ages ! Poor guy she did that to me then after 8 months said why don't you go see your friends you have neglected them ! I do often wonder are they gona be diferent with the new guy ?

[OutOfEgypt]

I agree with what others have already said.  BPD's want to control the relationship (i.e. control you).  They do this buy destroying your self-esteem, getting you to believe that it is your fault, that you did something wrong, that you blew it, etc.  They do this by making you feel like you are always off balance, and they do it by calling you repeatedly to answer for your "crimes" (which are usually not crimes at all... .but rather things that make them feel insecure and trigger rejection and abandonment in them).  They can do the most awful, terrible things to us, and we are expected to forgive quickly or understand that they couldn't help it, but if we so much as pass gas in a way they don't like, they will remind us how it has "ruined their lives."  They also keep control by making sure, if anyone leaves the relationship, it's going to be them.  They are perfectly fine being the one who does the dumping, but they cannot handle being dumped.  It's about control.  When you go N/C, it rips control from her hands.  Right now, all she is doing it trying to threaten, accuse, and guilt-trip you into reacting.  Even if you don't actually go back into the relationship, she needs to know she has you firmly planted in her pocket... .to pull out and use whenever shes wants.

[Splitblack4good]

I agree with what others have already said.  BPD's want to control the relationship (i.e. control you).  They do this buy destroying your self-esteem, getting you to believe that it is your fault, that you did something wrong, that you blew it, etc.  They do this by making you feel like you are always off balance, and they do it by calling you repeatedly to answer for your "crimes" (which are usually not crimes at all... .but rather things that make them feel insecure and trigger rejection and abandonment in them).  They can do the most awful, terrible things to us, and we are expected to forgive quickly or understand that they couldn't help it, but if we so much as pass gas in a way they don't like, they will remind us how it has "ruined their lives."  They also keep control by making sure, if anyone leaves the relationship, it's going to be them.  They are perfectly fine being the one who does the dumping, but they cannot handle being dumped.  It's about control.  When you go N/C, it rips control from her hands.  Right now, all she is doing it trying to threaten, accuse, and guilt-trip you into reacting.  Even if you don't actually go back into the relationship, she needs to know she has you firmly planted in her pocket... .to pull out and use whenever shes wants.

im glad you joined in outofegypt you talk so savage ! Gets the point across ! So it may just be a matter of time before I get the next form of contact from her ? Who knows

[Splitblack4good]

I agree with what others have already said.  BPD's want to control the relationship (i.e. control you).  They do this buy destroying your self-esteem, getting you to believe that it is your fault, that you did something wrong, that you blew it, etc.  They do this by making you feel like you are always off balance, and they do it by calling you repeatedly to answer for your "crimes" (which are usually not crimes at all... .but rather things that make them feel insecure and trigger rejection and abandonment in them).  They can do the most awful, terrible things to us, and we are expected to forgive quickly or understand that they couldn't help it, but if we so much as pass gas in a way they don't like, they will remind us how it has "ruined their lives."  They also keep control by making sure, if anyone leaves the relationship, it's going to be them.  They are perfectly fine being the one who does the dumping, but they cannot handle being dumped.  It's about control.  When you go N/C, it rips control from her hands.  Right now, all she is doing it trying to threaten, accuse, and guilt-trip you into reacting.  Even if you don't actually go back into the relationship, she needs to know she has you firmly planted in her pocket... .to pull out and use whenever shes wants.

im glad you joined in outofegypt you talk so savage ! Gets the point across ! So it may just be a matter of time before I get the next form of contact from her ? Who knows

12 hours after my previous post ta da ! I got a text from her asking about the Sky tv box and could I go round there What the heck ! I just ignored it and deleted it NC is the way forward I'm not using NC in the gameplay they are used to but my sanity !

[Splitblack4good]

Only yesturday was I posting about the ex BPD gf having the last word . I remained NC since . . last night very late I got a text message as follows

The sky tv box is playing up I can't reset it can you come over and take a look ?

I didn't reply I ignored it now if she wanted some form of contact I think that's abit poor and especially as my replacement is only 4 weeks in to ther relationship do you think I should reply or leave it to see if she follows it up my another text ?

[hope2727]

IGNORE the message. Seriously. She is an adult and can solve her own problems. If she doesn't know how this will be an excellent learning experience for her. Meanwhile it won't pull off all your emotional scabs.

Mine was vicious in his dumping of me. Like cruel. He bad mouthed me to everyone including my friends who believed him. Then he calls me looking for his tent pegs. SERIOUSLY? He is military. He can walk down the hall and grab another pack off the shelves. I can't believe I fell for it and even bothered to look for the darn things. I was suckered in and he used the opening to flay me a little more. To attack and project all his bad acts onto me.

Its just a hook to pull you in and prove she has the power to control you. You are a smart independent person. Don't fall for it.