How do they change there identity so quickly ?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My BPD ex gf has completely changed pretty much over night ! I ended the relationship over a month ago coz she started to neglect me and her kids I was goin to work a lot and she started hanging around this new group of mates and started acting like them goin out more and more started to devalue me at this point I think . A week prior to this she was so happy with us and the way things were goin . Why do they idolise and get easily influenced? Is it just to fit in ? She goes thru freinds rather rapid and falls out with them BPD obviously. She is now with my replacement and is a colourd guy and so are the new group she is white . It's just really surreal! It hurts a lot although I ended it . I have pictures of us together from only 9 months ago and she looks so different is this just the whole don't know ther identity ? Will it be just a phase ?

[Splitblack4good]

My BPD ex gf has completely changed pretty much over night ! I ended the relationship over a month ago coz she started to neglect me and her kids I was goin to work a lot and she started hanging around this new group of mates and started acting like them goin out more and more started to devalue me at this point I think . A week prior to this she was so happy with us and the way things were goin . Why do they idolise and get easily influenced? Is it just to fit in ? She goes thru freinds rather rapid and falls out with them BPD obviously. She is now with my replacement and is a colourd guy and so are the new group she is white . It's just really surreal! It hurts a lot although I ended it . I have pictures of us together from only 9 months ago and she looks so different is this just the whole don't know ther identity ? Will it be just a phase ?

[BrokenFamily]

It's called mirroring, all people not just those with BPD do it. Subconsciously I'm sure even you do it at times; have you ever started using a word to phrase you picked up from a friend family member or even television? Girls in general do this quite often and perhaps more so when reinventing themselves in a new life and relationship. It may seem fake or even strange but I wouldn't give it much thought. As for the sudden change in emotion, there are so many possibilities you'll drive yourself trying to find a legitimate reason because even she may not know.Her emotions could have changed some time ago and she suddenly decided to put an end to it while playing a convincing role at the end. There's also the possibility that her emotions could have never been there in the first place and she was just using you to kill time. Maybe she did love you truly then met your replacement who showed her that she was capable of a greater love. I can go on an on with different scenarios here and they will all lead to only one thing... .You will keep thinking about, obsessing about and worrying about what your ex is doing , why she left and how wrong she was... .< This will put you in an unhealthy state of mind driving you insane while she's having a good time and enjoying her life. I suggest you do what she's doing enjoy life and have a good time. Worrying about a lost love that never was, maybe wasn't or at the least abusive will only prevent you from finding the real love you deserve.

[fromheeltoheal]

Not having a stable sense of self causes a person to morph into whoever they need to be in different situations, always a fiction.  Pretty handy when you think about it, don't like who you are, just change into someone else.  And with a borderline think attachments, not having them means they don't exist, so mirror whomever in a given situation to affect an attachment, so they can be somebody, until they find a need to change again, and yes, photographs from different periods of time can look like entirely different people.  Such is mental illness.