Question About Abandonment Issues

[captainp]

My ex BPD appeared to not have the constant fear of abandonment that most BPD's have -- or at least the pretense of not caring about being abandoned.  She ticked every other box on the BPD checklist -- and a few boxes from HPD, NPD, and ASPD.

The strange thing is that her constant push-pull behaviour, and idealization/devaluation phases actually started to make me worry about being abandoned by her.

i don't know what to think about this.  Any thoughts? 

[AwakenedOne]

My ex was similar to what you are describing. She had so many friends and family though it didn't seem to matter much if she lost or disposed of me (just one person/thing). It's kind of like people are objects or possessions to them.As long as she was not totally alone she's was ok . I also thought my ex would abandon me and the marriage that's why I didn't rush into having any children with her.

[captainp]

Mine had a lot of "friends" too.  She wasn't very close to them, and most of them were guys.  Lots of satellite guys -- which perhaps is why she didn't fear abandonment.  The satellite guys were also part of the reason our relationship stressed me out the way it did.  I knew that I was instantly replaceable.  And I was right.  Lol