Seeking advice/understanding of this disorder... NC

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My exuBPDbf split up on Monday over the silliest argument about my doctors appointment. After explaining to him that I had a bacteria infection(something common in women) he flipped out and started accusing me of sleeping with other men and that I better not have given him a disease and that he is breaking up with me. He kept calling back to back and texting the rudest comments. I felt very insulted, disrespected, and hurt and immediately changed my phone number. I thought NC would be the best since we have so called broke up every week for the past month. BTW each week his accusations and comments became more rude/hurtful and he wanted me to always apologize for something I didn't do. This time around I sent him an email with the results from my doctor (basically showing that my infection was a result of bacteria and the STI screenings were negative) I didn't hear back from him. So I called... I don't know why I called but I did on yesterday (blocked my number of couse) he asked me twice who is this and pretended as if he didn't know me. Then in short he told me to F**k off, erase every picture I have of him, called me a nasty pig and hung up. I was so lost for words... thinking if he every loved my why would he say such hurtful things and react towards me like I was a nobody... I am so hurt right now, shocked, disappointed, upset all at the same time. But I refuse to let him or any man ever treat me like dirt... Is this normal behavior of pwBPD? huh So confused I need some encouragement so I am not tempted to make contact again.   :'(

I also want to mention something else I found strange. I straight out asked him if he suffered from a mental illness. Then I mentioned BPD... He said to me Im not a professional and therefore I can't diagnose him with anything. Later he mentioned that he was diagnosed a while back with PostTraumatic Syndrome Disorder and anger issues but they said he did not have BPD or any other mental illness . Thought that was strange to hear this for the first time. I asked him a few days later what happened with the PTSD (used the abbr and he asked me what did that mean?)... Should I suspect that he lied about have PTSD and perhaps was diagnosed with another disorder?

[whythisgirl]

My exuBPDbf split up on Monday over the silliest argument about my doctors appointment. After explaining to him that I had a bacteria infection(something common in women) he flipped out and started accusing me of sleeping with other men and that I better not have given him a disease and that he is breaking up with me. He kept calling back to back and texting the rudest comments. I felt very insulted, disrespected, and hurt and immediately changed my phone number. I thought NC would be the best since we have so called broke up every week for the past month. BTW each week his accusations and comments became more rude/hurtful and he wanted me to always apologize for something I didn't do. This time around I sent him an email with the results from my doctor (basically showing that my infection was a result of bacteria and the STI screenings were negative) I didn't hear back from him. So I called... I don't know why I called but I did on yesterday (blocked my number of couse) he asked me twice who is this and pretended as if he didn't know me. Then in short he told me to F**k off, erase every picture I have of him, called me a nasty pig and hung up. I was so lost for words... thinking if he every loved my why would he say such hurtful things and react towards me like I was a nobody... I am so hurt right now, shocked, disappointed, upset all at the same time. But I refuse to let him or any man ever treat me like dirt... Is this normal behavior of pwBPD? huh So confused I need some encouragement so I am not tempted to make contact again.   :'(

I also want to mention something else I found strange. I straight out asked him if he suffered from a mental illness. Then I mentioned BPD... He said to me Im not a professional and therefore I can't diagnose him with anything. Later he mentioned that he was diagnosed a while back with PostTraumatic Syndrome Disorder and anger issues but they said he did not have BPD or any other mental illness . Thought that was strange to hear this for the first time. I asked him a few days later what happened with the PTSD (used the abbr and he asked me what did that mean?)... Should I suspect that he lied about have PTSD and perhaps was diagnosed with another disorder?

[Infern0]

It's quite possible he's got BPD (the behaviour is typical of personality disorder but seems to have some NPD traits too)

A lot of times they won't admit being diagnosed with a PD and will instead claim something like PTSD or ":)epression"

If you want out then stay no contact,  he sounds very unpleasant and horrible and if he's not in therapy then he's not going to improve.

Your call of course but I've done this dance long enough and they do not change without treatment.  Beware the possible "I'm different now,  I'm sorry" if he can't reel you back in any other way.

[whythisgirl]

Thanks for your response Infern0! Now that you mention it he does exhibit both BPD and NPD traits. He is all messed up! I will try my best to stick to NC... I fell for the "sorry" once before (fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me). I'm not putting myself through this emotional roller coaster anymore.

[Infern0]

Thanks for your response Infern0! Now that you mention it he does exhibit both BPD and NPD traits. He is all messed up! I will try my best to stick to NC... I fell for the "sorry" once before (fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me). I'm not putting myself through this emotional roller coaster anymore.

Yeah many of them have crossover with other PD's. It's just a tangled up nightmare.  Therapists etc avoid these people because they are so difficult to help.

Good on you for sticking to no contact.  He's not your problem anymore.