Do I break NC to wish her a Merry Christmas?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm still undecided. I don't know if it's worth it. I would either get ignored, a Merry Christmas, or a You too. Is it worth breaking 25 days no contact over?

[Xidion]

I'm still undecided. I don't know if it's worth it. I would either get ignored, a Merry Christmas, or a You too. Is it worth breaking 25 days no contact over?

[merlin4926]

No! Either of those replies will make you feel worse.  Hold on to that bit of control I think we will all feel better for it x

[neverloveagain]

Hi xidion, in short no youve got 25 days under your belt keep it that way for your own sanity. It would only hurt yourself and put you back at square one. I wont lie i thought aboit doing the same thing im 8 months nc but there would be no point, my ex waif is someone completly different now. Why wish merry christmas to someone who hurt you and doesnt give a s hit. Stsy strong try and make the best of today.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

My advice is to retain NC.  We need to be breaking away from these toxic relationships.  Part of that process is making it clear to your ex that contact is not desired.  Sending a festive season message also sends mixed signals.  Contact leads to abuse.  No contact leads to peace.  Merry Christmas to all and I wish you all a Happy No Contacting day.

[Xidion]

You guys are right. I will just try to concentrate on having fun with my family. Thanks for the support.

[Splitblack4good]

I agree stay NC if you already have time served . My ex rang out mutuel freind yesturday as she knew were I was and as I'd blocked her now . Crying her eyes out down the phone as she had a stressful 2 days and had finally pushed away her 1 and only remaing freind . Now just left with my replacement who is feeling indifferent towards her now due to hiss freinds being the now p****d off ex  freinds of my exBPDgf ! Then hearing my voice wishing her and her kids a merry Xmas I think that's when it hit her the hardest . Stay NC if you can like others have said will only make you feel worse and back to the start you will go.

Merry Xmas everyone chin up stay strong and new year new start !

[Infern0]

Absolutely not. I made the mistake of checking her instagram.  Big mistake. There she is smiling with her "true love" (who last month she cheated on with me and wanted to dump because she didn't love him and he was abusive and made her depressed) After that 30 minutes or so of rage from that little peek I learned my lesson again.

Stay no contact people,  just do it.

[CloseToFreedom]

I'm trying hard to stay in NC as well. Nothing good will come out of wishing her a merry christmas. I will only end up feeling worse. Screw her, she can find other people to wish her a merry christmas.

[GuiltHaunted]

Merry Christmas Xidion.   

25 days is not a long time, keep it up and it will get easier. I am 359 days NC today and 18 months past breakup. So you can imagine what happened last christmas.

[Rise]

What are the potential positives that can come from it? What are the potential negatives? How to the two compare?

[Recooperating]

I posted this before... .My mantra these days:

Silence is better then Bullsh!t... .

Why give yourself the agony of sending a message and then worrying all the time what will come back? Checking your phone every 3 minutes and giving yourself that stress and anxiety. When staying silent will give you peace (somewhat at least).

Good luck Xidion, focus on your friends and family, people that truely love you and wont cause you drama or stress.

Happy holidays! 

[NYMike]

I posted this before... .My mantra these days:

Silence is better then Bullsh!t... .

Why give yourself the agony of sending a message and then worrying all the time what will come back? Checking your phone every 3 minutes and giving yourself that stress and anxiety. When staying silent will give you peace (somewhat at least).

Good luck Xidion, focus on your friends and family, people that truely love you and wont cause you drama or stress.

Happy holidays! 

Thanks for this post.I was thinking about sending a Merry Christmas Too.I am going to continue NC TODAY.

[CloseToFreedom]

Look at it this way: is she wishing you a merry christmas? No. So why should you? Obviously she doesn't think it is worth it, so why should you.

[Xidion]

Look at it this way: is she wishing you a merry christmas? No. So why should you? Obviously she doesn't think it is worth it, so why should you.

You're right about that.

[Seriously?]

I am fighting the urge, too. I am upset today because last year was our first and last Christmas together.  It started off bad because on Christmas Eve my text message self corrected and he thought I was saying I was outside when I was supposed to be home baking. We had a big fight over nothing, but did have a nice Christmas.  I apologized even though it was just a texting error and a person without BPD wouldn't have thought anything of it. Now, although I want to text him, I am trying to focus on how much energy I wasted on appeasing him all the time. It helps.

[antelope]

it's not Christmas... .it's Thursday... .and just like the other 6 days a week, I don't communicate in any way with my ex... .

I advise you to do the same  

[willtimeheal]

it's not Christmas... .it's Thursday... .and just like the other 6 days a week, I don't communicate in any way with my ex... .

I advise you to do the same  

Love it!  You're right!  It's Thursday!   Don't break NC!

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

It is very tempting to contact your ex.  The heart pines but this time we MUST allow our heads to rule over our hearts.  :)o not blacken your Christmas by attempting contact.  Chances are they will see this as extreme weakness and rub your nose in it.  These people are emotionally at the level of a three year old child and we know what savage cruelty children can demonstrate.  We accept this in children but we cannot accept it from our BPD ex's.  NC is a must.  Complete Radio Silence.  And if she or he contacts you - delete the text or do not answer the phone or both.  :)on't kid yourself she or he wants you back - they will move on to the next one on their friend zoned bench once you rebuff their moves.  At most they will want soothing and triangulation.  This is not about you at all.

[Beach_Babe]

No, don't do it. It wont be appreciated and will ruin YOUR holiday. They aren't worth that. Stay strong.