Mirror Mirror

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I woke up this morning and have been feeling good for several days now and as the anger is leaving although I still think of my ex it's not the repetitive thinking or angry imaginations of before but AHA moments that really confirm she has BPD.

I used to think she was really strong and intelligent and that was what I loved about her, I'd heard about mirroring before but dismissed that I fell for that but now I can see at least with small things she was mirroring me like crazy.

Her family would comment that she she shouldn't lose her personality and that she was pronouncing things like me, gaining weight (like me unf), humour changing, stopped listening to her music and books and took on my likes, wants and desires. It's strangely, now im out, comforting to know that thi emotional caring and sweet person who she displayed in the early phases is actually me, that woman was nowhere around for the last year, I fell in love with myself! Not sure what to make of that! We also got comments that we look alike and yet I still can't see that one! But also bums me out!

We're you mirrored?

[Trog]

I woke up this morning and have been feeling good for several days now and as the anger is leaving although I still think of my ex it's not the repetitive thinking or angry imaginations of before but AHA moments that really confirm she has BPD.

I used to think she was really strong and intelligent and that was what I loved about her, I'd heard about mirroring before but dismissed that I fell for that but now I can see at least with small things she was mirroring me like crazy.

Her family would comment that she she shouldn't lose her personality and that she was pronouncing things like me, gaining weight (like me unf), humour changing, stopped listening to her music and books and took on my likes, wants and desires. It's strangely, now im out, comforting to know that thi emotional caring and sweet person who she displayed in the early phases is actually me, that woman was nowhere around for the last year, I fell in love with myself! Not sure what to make of that! We also got comments that we look alike and yet I still can't see that one! But also bums me out!

We're you mirrored?

[rollercoaster24]

Yep sure was

I'd get told that 'he and I were so much alike' then it would switch to 'we haven't got anything in common and we just aren't getting on'

He would mirror my level of romance and emotion, but then he could switch that off to intense coldness too.

At first he really mirrored me flat out, convincing me he was the best man I would ever meet in my entire life, and it really worked on me.

He used to say "oh roller' and pull me in close for a hug and be all romantic, and that was exactly the same level of emotion that I had always displayed with him in really close intimate moments after yet another of his fight provoking rows.

He couldn't mirror real tears though, I think I only saw his eyes glass up once or twice in 4 years, but he always said he cried a lot in private, (sorry don't believe it).

He mirrored my morals, but as it turned out, he had no qualms about stealing from worksites of mine, from me, my family, his own parents etc.

At the very end I found out, (through investigation a little) that he was drinking in secret too, although all that time he had professed to hating wine and never drinking because he 'couldn't afford it' on the Unemployment Payment he got for 6 years.

I guess 85% of him was a fake, and now some poor replacement female will be slowly learning this too. I hope she cottons on faster than I did, boy was I a fool.

[Splitblack4good]

I woke up this morning and have been feeling good for several days now and as the anger is leaving although I still think of my ex it's not the repetitive thinking or angry imaginations of before but AHA moments that really confirm she has BPD.

I used to think she was really strong and intelligent and that was what I loved about her, I'd heard about mirroring before but dismissed that I fell for that but now I can see at least with small things she was mirroring me like crazy.

Her family would comment that she she shouldn't lose her personality and that she was pronouncing things like me, gaining weight (like me unf), humour changing, stopped listening to her music and books and took on my likes, wants and desires. It's strangely, now im out, comforting to know that thi emotional caring and sweet person who she displayed in the early phases is actually me, that woman was nowhere around for the last year, I fell in love with myself! Not sure what to make of that! We also got comments that we look alike and yet I still can't see that one! But also bums me out!

We're you mirrored?

I think we all were to some degree some at the start and others mirrored from start to finish I never knew my  ex had BPD when we were together and when we broke up she said I even changed who I was for you ! Now I know about mirroring being part of BPD that statement she made makes perfect sense now ! my ex is mirroring my replacement more than she did me tho she even walks like him ! It's sad really is when I saw her 4 weeks after the break up I hardly recognised her like seeing a new person for the first time she was even talking like him at times the funny part and prob the most strange is he is black Caribbean And ex is white Caucasian so to hear her talking like that is most bizarre !