Caught her stalking me on FB - But what does it really mean?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

My exBPD fiance did a disappearing act 3 months ago. I have not heard from her and she has made it virtually impossible for me to contact her (not that she would respond anyway).

Yesterday, I was able to confirm that she is stalking me on FB. But what does this mean or what is it a sign of? She will not contact me but she is visiting me on FB everyday... .seems like to conflicting actions, what gives? 

[JRT]

My exBPD fiance did a disappearing act 3 months ago. I have not heard from her and she has made it virtually impossible for me to contact her (not that she would respond anyway).

Yesterday, I was able to confirm that she is stalking me on FB. But what does this mean or what is it a sign of? She will not contact me but she is visiting me on FB everyday... .seems like to conflicting actions, what gives? 

[Waddams]

what gives?

Honestly, who cares?  Let her obsess.  She's likely looking for some kind of evidence of how much you miss her, how downtrodden you are without her, etc.  She's looking for that validation that she's one up on you.  I'd post a pic of me with a Hooter's waitress on my lap or something, and a bunch of stuff about how great life is now.

Or the simpler response - block her.

[lipstick]

My exBPD fiance did a disappearing act 3 months ago. I have not heard from her and she has made it virtually impossible for me to contact her (not that she would respond anyway).

Yesterday, I was able to confirm that she is stalking me on FB. But what does this mean or what is it a sign of? She will not contact me but she is visiting me on FB everyday... .seems like to conflicting actions, what gives? 

Hi JRT,

My ex also "stalks" my FB page. I learned how to decipher source codes - and a deactivated account (the one I'm sure he uses to spy on me) is way up there towards the top of my list. People I interact with frequently are much, much further down the list. So I'm pretty positive it's him. Fits into what he's been doing.

Anyway - as to your question - who really knows? I've been discarded for over two years now. Been blocked by him on FB for over one year (since last December). So why any interest? I think it's like HeeltoHeal said - it's an attachment. And Borderlines don't like to give up attachments. In my case - the ex went back to his nightmare of a spouse. They've been together for 26 years (except for me). She is also disordered. They are basically roommates and drinking buddies.

Back over the summer - the ex added his spouse to his page. I guess they share his FB page now. So she is on there quite a bit monitoring his activity. He wouldn't unblock me to look at my page because he would fear her finding out. And all hell would break loose. So - he uses the deactivated account. Why does he look? I think he harbors a great deal of shame over what he did to me. I think he acts in the moment (feelings=facts) and later regrets those actions. Yet he will NOT apologize or be accountable for the damage. I also think I was painted black for a while. That may have faded. I've heard some things from mutual friends that would confirm it.

Anyway - perhaps your ex is like mine in that shame keeps her from true contact. Looking at your FB page allows them to feel a "connection" to you. My ex has actually adopted quite a few of my "slang" words. It's kind of creepy when friends tell me how he actually sounds like me when he posts something on FB. Mirroring, perhaps? I've abandoned the notion that mine will ever reach out to me again. Oh, he might years down the road. His spouse is quite a bit older than him and she could pass before he does. In that case... .maybe. But here's the thing... .he made me a LOT of promises, told me a LOT of lies and in the end was very cruel to me. He's quite aware that something is wrong with him - so I believe he does know how much pain he caused me. Therefore - to contact me would bring the possibility of rejection. Something he does NOT handle well. Perhaps your ex is also afraid of rejection? My ex does not know how to truly apologize. Everyone in his world just sweeps his actions under the rug. They pretend it didn't happen. I wasn't willing to do that. He practically destroyed me.

How much damage has your ex done? Is it beyond repair? Give her time to get up the courage to reach out. Mine actually did after over a year of Silent Treatment. He sent me a Friend Request on Facebook. Began "Following" me first. Then came the request. No communication. Just the request. I now know how much courage that took on his part. I didn't know it at the time. I ignored the request as I was waiting for communication. He then blocked me for not accepting his "friendship". As if I was the bad guy. You have to have TONS of patience with these folk. I don't have it.

Let her stalk your page. What does it hurt? I don't care that mine does it. A friend told me that my ex must admire me very much to still be so interested in what I'm doing. And to "mimic" (mirror) me by using my lingo. I would still prefer an opportunity to talk with him. But it is what it is. And he has to keep up his facade of the "perfect life / perfect marriage" now on Facebook. I don't fit in that dynamic.

How long are you willing to wait for contact? Don't be a dumba$$ like me and waste a whole YEAR hoping to be acknowledged. It's not worth it. Trust me.

[AnnaK]

what gives?

Honestly, who cares?  Let her obsess.  She's likely looking for some kind of evidence of how much you miss her, how downtrodden you are without her, etc.  She's looking for that validation that she's one up on you.  I'd post a pic of me with a Hooter's waitress on my lap or something, and a bunch of stuff about how great life is now.

Or the simpler response - block her.

Why is it wrong? I have never been diagnosed with anything, and I occasionally wander through the pages of my exes.

I have no intention to get back to them, and I have not talked to them for years.

I know it's called "online stalking", but it's kinda interesting how they live without me, and since the information is public, it's harmless to them. I would be very surprised if they were to go to extremes like decipher facebook scripts to find out that I showed up to see their latest pictures.

I don't know if my uBPDbf, during our "breakup leaves" stalks me on Facebook (we regularly unfriend each other), but I post all my information public (because I anyway don't post any secrets on Facebook)

[JRT]

@Lipstick

I was absolutely devastated by the way that my ex had broke up. It was a disappearing act while I was away... .an angry text... .threats to call the police and get a PPO if I contacted her (she actually did have a lawyer send me a letter and the cops called me to warn me to never call again)... .we didn't have the stormy kind of relationship that many of the couples have had that I read here... .it was quiet, no arguments or abuse. I was very happy.

So she left a lot of personal stuff here, mostly worthless but she left a trunk full of keepsake items like her son's baby booties and other items, old photos, family jewelry, personal letters and so on. I took a picture of it and put it on FB saying that I was cleaning out my basement and that the trunk and its content will be dragged out to the trash unless one of my friends did not claim it.

Two days later the FIRST thing in the morning, I received a message from her least liked friend (she 'split' her frequently and usually was on the out with her). My suspicion is that the people that were better friends or family were approached but told her that they would not get involved. THIS one was a perfect dupe. Anyway, the exchange was childish and I am certain that she was on the phone while the dupe typed. She first insisted that my ex was not stalking my FB page (which would beg the question how she knew that I was going to trash the trunk). Then denied that she even wanted the trunk and its content until she admitted that she did after a lot of fuss.

I was cordial, almost professional about it and stood my ground. My position was that I did not want her back but I did want for her to have her property picked up. My only condition was that she herself call and make arrangements and that she provides me with an explanation as to why she did the things that she did. Thats all. The gf was offended that she should be required to make arrangements to pick up her own stuff <rolling my eyes>... .I even made an offer to do so through an intermediary such as her therapist. (happy to copy and paste the exchange if anyone is interested)... .m goal is to make her give me an explanation

Well, that was 2 days ago. She stopped responding towards the end I suspect since she knew I was holding firm. I made it clear that the stuff would be given away to an interested taker on Saturday. It blows my mind that the proposition of contact with me of any kind is something that she would be part with property of this kind in order to avoid! What could possibly be so difficult for her that she is willing to go through these efforts (including blocking and other machinations by her) to avoid even hearing my voice as if it would be like acid in her face?

I have a little bit of a public persona where I live so I have always had my FB security on Public. She had blocked me on her account but I know that she created a dummy account to do her snooping. I made my posts private yesterday and wonder how she will react. Does this diminish their sense of power? And/or make her feel even more disconnected? What if she doesn't overcome her fear and pick up her property? This has been a little different from most of the accounts that I have been reading about here... .

[JRT]

what gives?

Honestly, who cares?  Let her obsess.  She's likely looking for some kind of evidence of how much you miss her, how downtrodden you are without her, etc.  She's looking for that validation that she's one up on you.  I'd post a pic of me with a Hooter's waitress on my lap or something, and a bunch of stuff about how great life is now.

Or the simpler response - block her.

Why is it wrong? I have never been diagnosed with anything, and I occasionally wander through the pages of my exes.

I have no intention to get back to them, and I have not talked to them for years.

I know it's called "online stalking", but it's kinda interesting how they live without me, and since the information is public, it's harmless to them. I would be very surprised if they were to go to extremes like decipher facebook scripts to find out that I showed up to see their latest pictures.

I don't know if my uBPDbf, during our "breakup leaves" stalks me on Facebook (we regularly unfriend each other), but I post all my information public (because I anyway don't post any secrets on Facebook)

I don't think that it is wrong... .I look up old GF's as well... .I also look up old buddies, neighbors co-workers, etc. It's natural I think. But, at least from my perspective, I wonder what it means within the framework of my relationship with a BPD.

The term online stalking probably needs a replacement... .it sounds far more severe than what it truly describes.

[Hawk Ridge]

I am guilty of viewing my replacements page, something I no longer do as my behavior made me feel worse.  She is noy my FB friend.  Can she detect that? Gulp

[AnnaK]

I am guilty of viewing my replacements page, something I no longer do as my behavior made me feel worse.  She is noy my FB friend.  Can she detect that? Gulp

She might. But so what? Do u think she'll message you like "Hey, I hacked Facebook stuff and I've seen you viewing my page!" or what?

Lol.

[JRT]

Through a friend of hers who IM'd me, mine categorically denied that she was stalking my FB page... .it was pathetic. Like talking to a 6 year old who denied that they wrote all over the wall after you just watched them.

[lipstick]

@Lipstick

I was absolutely devastated by the way that my ex had broke up. It was a disappearing act while I was away... .an angry text... .threats to call the police and get a PPO if I contacted her (she actually did have a lawyer send me a letter and the cops called me to warn me to never call again)... .we didn't have the stormy kind of relationship that many of the couples have had that I read here... .it was quiet, no arguments or abuse. I was very happy.

So she left a lot of personal stuff here, mostly worthless but she left a trunk full of keepsake items like her son's baby booties and other items, old photos, family jewelry, personal letters and so on. I took a picture of it and put it on FB saying that I was cleaning out my basement and that the trunk and its content will be dragged out to the trash unless one of my friends did not claim it.

Two days later the FIRST thing in the morning, I received a message from her least liked friend (she 'split' her frequently and usually was on the out with her). My suspicion is that the people that were better friends or family were approached but told her that they would not get involved. THIS one was a perfect dupe. Anyway, the exchange was childish and I am certain that she was on the phone while the dupe typed. She first insisted that my ex was not stalking my FB page (which would beg the question how she knew that I was going to trash the trunk). Then denied that she even wanted the trunk and its content until she admitted that she did after a lot of fuss.

I was cordial, almost professional about it and stood my ground. My position was that I did not want her back but I did want for her to have her property picked up. My only condition was that she herself call and make arrangements and that she provides me with an explanation as to why she did the things that she did. Thats all. The gf was offended that she should be required to make arrangements to pick up her own stuff <rolling my eyes>... .I even made an offer to do so through an intermediary such as her therapist. (happy to copy and paste the exchange if anyone is interested)... .m goal is to make her give me an explanation

Well, that was 2 days ago. She stopped responding towards the end I suspect since she knew I was holding firm. I made it clear that the stuff would be given away to an interested taker on Saturday. It blows my mind that the proposition of contact with me of any kind is something that she would be part with property of this kind in order to avoid! What could possibly be so difficult for her that she is willing to go through these efforts (including blocking and other machinations by her) to avoid even hearing my voice as if it would be like acid in her face?

I have a little bit of a public persona where I live so I have always had my FB security on Public. She had blocked me on her account but I know that she created a dummy account to do her snooping. I made my posts private yesterday and wonder how she will react. Does this diminish their sense of power? And/or make her feel even more disconnected? What if she doesn't overcome her fear and pick up her property? This has been a little different from most of the accounts that I have been reading about here... .

JRT,

She can't face you because of the shame involved. From what I understand - BPD is a shame-based disorder. I think these folk are made of anger, fear and shame.

My ex can't face me or communicate with me. He doesn't want to be reminded of the pain he caused me. That would make him a bad guy and he can't handle that. So these days it's all "moonlight and roses" with he and his spouse. They have a long history of domestic violence (she likes to hit and rage), but now suddenly they are like newlyweds again (according to what gets posted on FB, anyway). He needs to create this fake image. It's important to him. And to have contact with me would destroy that. However, I believe a part of him regrets what he did and what he no longer has. So he keeps tabs on me thru FB. It's harmless and I don't mind. I'm not a big "sharer" of personal stuff so he doesn't get to see much.

Your ex doesn't want you to know that she FB stalks you. That would be a shift in power in your favor. My ex would freak if he knew that I was aware of his "stalking". I've also begun receiving blocked calls again to my home phone. "Private Name, Private Number" on the caller i.d... This is where someone has deliberately blocked their number. These calls started back in October (the month I was discarded). They stopped prior to the start of the holidays ( all involved with his  family).  Now they have begun again. Why? My only guess is to hear my voice on the answering machine. Connection, remember? It's all about keeping the connection.

Toss her stuff. If she can't communicate directly with you about it - pitch it all out or give it to Goodwill. Let her continue to check out your page. What does it hurt? If you've locked it down - she'll lose interest. She may reach out to you eventually. I can't say. I've accepted that my ex wants to "check up on me" via social media, etc... but will not contact me.  It is what it is. What do you want to do about your situation?

[JRT]

Lipstik

Yeah, the avoidance of her shame is a powerful motivator for them as I am understanding. The extent to what lengths that she is willing to go through and what she is prepared to sacrifice is a good indication of that. She is by and large a good person, so I think that her internal struggle is immense. Each and very time we recycled, the mere sight of me (as she recalled) brought her episode to an end. How does that work? I would see the relief in her face... .the way she became relaxed... .almost as if she got a stay of execution from the prison warden! Thats REALLY what it seemed like. But to avoid that relief to this extent? What the... .

With your ex and his spouse, are meaning to infer that you believe that his marriage is a nothing more than a show for you to see 'how well he is doing'? That would be pretty crazy if true. How long have you been apart from him?

I am convinced that my ex would come undone if she knew that I realized she was FB stalking me. Yet she knows that I know how to find out as I told her that it could be done before. Perhaps she is just being sloppy or does not remember. But in the exchange that I had with her GF (maybe it was her, who knows), I made her aware that I knew. The GF, of course, denied it on her behalf as I am sure that that would be the LAST thing she would admit to since it would be giving away power. I thought that the GF was acting on her own accord but she said some things that confirmed that she was not and my ex was directly involved. Let me know if you would care to check out the transcript. It would be interesting to see what your opinion is about it.

Why the blocked calls I wonder? Is just hearing your voice that much assuaging to him? Or does he have some sort of other angle? I am curious about why he stopped during the holidays. It would seem to me that the holidays would have brought out more longing and pain for him the the extent that he would have been more outward and frequent? I thought that mine would have contacted me on our engagement anniversary and it didn't happen (I flew her to Europe and proposed in a medieval square under a fountain of Neptune... .every woman that I ever told the story to swooned).  Is it your belief that family and activities fill their days to the extent that you are not on his radar? I have had only the opposite... .

But if mine IS keeping the connection by stalking me on FB, I would assume that cutting her off would be devestating to her since that is the only connection she has. Do you think that's would be the case? I switched my page to private yesterday. 

As far as her stuff goes, it SO important... .SO personal... .SO sentimental ... .that I would feel of myself to be a HUGE a$$#ole if I got rid of it... .one day, she will be rational... .one day 3 months from now or 10 years from now. Its no sweat off of my brow to keep it, i have plenty of space. But yes, what a child that she cannot communicate with me directly for it, But we are back to her shame and pain. I am pretty sure that she KNOWS that a text/email will tunr into a call... .a call will result in a meeting... .a meeting will resume her relationship... .at least thats what happened in the past... .this time, I don't want her relationship... .I want her to provide an explanation of why she did what she did, I am entitled to that.

[lipstick]

Lipstik

Yeah, the avoidance of her shame is a powerful motivator for them as I am understanding. The extent to what lengths that she is willing to go through and what she is prepared to sacrifice is a good indication of that. She is by and large a good person, so I think that her internal struggle is immense. Each and very time we recycled, the mere sight of me (as she recalled) brought her episode to an end. How does that work? I would see the relief in her face... .the way she became relaxed... .almost as if she got a stay of execution from the prison warden! Thats REALLY what it seemed like. But to avoid that relief to this extent? What the... .

With your ex and his spouse, are meaning to infer that you believe that his marriage is a nothing more than a show for you to see 'how well he is doing'? That would be pretty crazy if true. How long have you been apart from him?

I am convinced that my ex would come undone if she knew that I realized she was FB stalking me. Yet she knows that I know how to find out as I told her that it could be done before. Perhaps she is just being sloppy or does not remember. But in the exchange that I had with her GF (maybe it was her, who knows), I made her aware that I knew. The GF, of course, denied it on her behalf as I am sure that that would be the LAST thing she would admit to since it would be giving away power. I thought that the GF was acting on her own accord but she said some things that confirmed that she was not and my ex was directly involved. Let me know if you would care to check out the transcript. It would be interesting to see what your opinion is about it.

Why the blocked calls I wonder? Is just hearing your voice that much assuaging to him? Or does he have some sort of other angle? I am curious about why he stopped during the holidays. It would seem to me that the holidays would have brought out more longing and pain for him the the extent that he would have been more outward and frequent? I thought that mine would have contacted me on our engagement anniversary and it didn't happen (I flew her to Europe and proposed in a medieval square under a fountain of Neptune... .every woman that I ever told the story to swooned).  Is it your belief that family and activities fill their days to the extent that you are not on his radar? I have had only the opposite... .

But if mine IS keeping the connection by stalking me on FB, I would assume that cutting her off would be devestating to her since that is the only connection she has. Do you think that's would be the case? I switched my page to private yesterday. 

As far as her stuff goes, it SO important... .SO personal... .SO sentimental ... .that I would feel of myself to be a HUGE a$$#ole if I got rid of it... .one day, she will be rational... .one day 3 months from now or 10 years from now. Its no sweat off of my brow to keep it, i have plenty of space. But yes, what a child that she cannot communicate with me directly for it, But we are back to her shame and pain. I am pretty sure that she KNOWS that a text/email will tunr into a call... .a call will result in a meeting... .a meeting will resume her relationship... .at least thats what happened in the past... .this time, I don't want her relationship... .I want her to provide an explanation of why she did what she did, I am entitled to that.

Hi JRT,

My ex discarded me in October of 2012. Two days before my birthday. He moved out while I was at work. He had lost his job the prior week. On a Wednesday. Said nothing to me about it. Pretended all was fine. Then ran away on Tuesday of the following week. Went back to his home and spouse. End of story.

No - I don't think his marriage is a "show" for me. They've been together a long time. Both disordered. Both getting something from the other one to feed their disorders. They are not intimate. Their sex life dried up about thirteen or fourteen years ago. She is older than him. Is now in her sixties. Has no interest in intercourse. And it's physically painful for her. So - my ex is in a platonic relationship. However - their relationship is "safe" for him. Even though she rages and is violent. There is no threat of true intimacy. So it is "comfortable" for him. She cannot support herself financially and has no work skills - she's a pub worker in a local beach dive. Only has that job because of her daughter. She is completely dependent on my ex for everything. Doesn't even know how to pay bills online. Which gives him the control that he craves. He puts on quite a show via Facebook about how great his life is. Funny - most people that live on FB 24 /  7 aren't happy at all... .

If the blocked calls are from my ex - it's just another way to keep a "connection" to me. Knowing that I haven't moved to another location (where he couldn't find me if he needed me). Knowing I'm still here in our hometown. I deactivated my FB account for a brief time (needed a break!) and that's when the calls started. I think I pop up on his radar late at night when he's sitting in his recliner drinking from the glass I gave him. It is his "favorite" and woe be to anyone who tries to use it !  He keeps super late hours. He and spouse sit up boozing. She passes out - he plays on Facebook. Sounds like a pretty crappy life to me, regardless of what he tries to portray to his little FB world ! 

Your ex is allowing you to keep her things as another way to keep a "connection" to you. My ex has an item of mine that I've asked to have returned. Well, it's been two years and I haven't gotten it yet. By you keeping her items - it leaves an avenue open for her to contact you. A convenient excuse to reach out. When she's ready. As far as getting an explanation from her about her actions - forget it. They're not capable of that. Because she was acting in the moment. Her emotions equal facts in her mind. In that moment!  Later I think they experience shame from what they did - but no apology. You may be painted black right now. In time that will probably change. I would just go about my day-to-day life and not worry about it. Let her be. I'm sure that you will hear from her again. Usually works that way. At least in the majority of what I've read here on this site !   

[JRT]

Sorry to hear about your episode... .I know how emotions work so I realize that you may have yourself have feelings for this man that are hard to shake but it doesn't really sound to me that this man was much of a prize... .maybe its a second chance at someone that is more of quality individual? Funny thing is that mine didn't really have the qualities that I found attractive in retrospect in her... .and she gained 40 lbs and was becoming unattractive on top of it. Yes, I didn't really care for some reason nor did I complain.

I made it very clear during my IM with her GF that I will be giving her stuff away today, period. It was funny how the GF swore over and over that the ex was not stalking my FB page (but somehow became aware that I was giving her things away to the first taker) and that she didn't really want anything back (then admitting that she did). So as far as she knows, her stuff will be gone permanently as of today yet, she is so petrified of even this kind of contact, that she would just as soon see her family treasures gone for good. WOW!

Going further, I have a letter going to her attorney to demand the return of property that she has of mine and to threaten a PPO against her is she does not stop stalking me, her friends do not stop stalking me and criminal action if her son verbally accosts me again. If she fails to return my property, she will definitely need to answer a summons. As disappearing, recycling, splitting, etc. are punitive and acts of power, I wonder how she will respond if at all.

Do you really think that give this posture that she will eventually recycle me? That she will unpaint me black? This seems extreme even for a BPD.

[Jack2727]

Maybe you guys can answer this. Is an ex being obsessed with facebook and stalking ex's a sign of BPD? My ex never posted on Facebook and during our seven months together never shared any pictures of us. But she would be constantly be on facebook stalking profiles.

[JRT]

You mean she would go on FB and never post anything on her own feed? She just read other posts?

[Jack2727]

Pretty much but she would spend hours on there. She would never post anything on her feed but would spend hours stalking profiles.

[shatra]

Lipstick wrote---

drinking from the glass I gave him. It is his "favorite" and woe be to anyone who tries to use it !

---Sounds like it is a "transitional object"---something they keep to remind them of the lost person

JRT----what "criminal action" that u mentioned, can u take re: the son "verbally accosting" you? Is it a crime? What is he doing---approaching you in person?

  It may be that she hasn't picked up her stuff since that might end the connection with you----and she hasn't returned yours as it can be a "tranisitional object"---she can keep a part of you. 

  I have seen the opposite happen---they return the itmes, delete the ex's phone number, etc., to try to purge themselves of any reminder, since a reminder is painful... .and then mothes later they try to reconnect.

Shatra

[JRT]

Pretty much but she would spend hours on there. She would never post anything on her feed but would spend hours stalking profiles.

Yeah... .I know people that do that... .a LOT of them... .don't think its a BPD thing.

[sirensong65]

Can someone tell me HOW you are able to detect they have been looking at your FB page?  I had no idea you could do that... .

[JRT]

Lipstick wrote---

drinking from the glass I gave him. It is his "favorite" and woe be to anyone who tries to use it !

---Sounds like it is a "transitional object"---something they keep to remind them of the lost person

JRT----what "criminal action" that u mentioned, can u take re: the son "verbally accosting" you? Is it a crime? What is he doing---approaching you in person?

  It may be that she hasn't picked up her stuff since that might end the connection with you----and she hasn't returned yours as it can be a "tranisitional object"---she can keep a part of you. 

  I have seen the opposite happen---they return the itmes, delete the ex's phone number, etc., to try to purge themselves of any reminder, since a reminder is painful... .and then mothes later they try to reconnect.

Shatra

Interesting Lipstick... .

I am having a lawyer prepare a document to return several items that are still in her possession of mine (including my garage door opener and engagement ring, recoverable under my states laws) ... .I am also having it noted that she is confirmed to be stalking me on FB... .that she has used her GF's online accounts to contact me or spy on me... .her son saw me at the mall with his gf and rather than avoid me, waled within inches of me and mumbled what I thought was a threat.

I am thinking that you are correct regarding the property... .I am sure that contact while not imminent, will happen eventually. It has happened in the past for sure this way. This time, I played a trick on her. I put one of the items on my FB page and offered it to the first person who wanted it (a trunk with a LOT of really priceless family heirlooms). Two days later, one of her WORST friends IM'd me asking if she can pick up the trunk repeatedly claiming that the ex was not stalking me and that she actually didn't want the property! Later in the conversation, admitting that she wanted it but should't have to ask me for it directly (I offered it to her only under the condition that my ex and my ex alone contact me and THEN provide me with a face to face explanation about why she did what she did. Her freinds also seemed to be under the impression that this was all about me not letting go - II made it very celar that I did not want her back. I think that this was seminal for her.). I told her if I did not receive this by Saturday (yesterday) that I would give away the trunk and its contents to the whoever wanted it - have not heard from her at all. I then set my FB privacy settings to private.

So:

-have. in her eyes, begun to purge her personal items from my possession no matter how valuable

-shut her down from her FB tether of me

-made it legally impossible for her or anyone associated with her to contact me

How do you figure that she will take it or react? The 'power' that she thought that she had just last week is now entirely gone.

[JRT]

Can someone tell me HOW you are able to detect they have been looking at your FB page?  I had no idea you could do that... .

You can... .but there is some technical know how that is required... .sorry.

[enlighten me]

A quick question with facebook. Does how high someone is on your friends list mean they view you more or is that just a myth? My exgf is top of my friends and I dont interact with her. My son is fourth and he has lost his password but I think his mum may use his account.

[JRT]

As I understand it, yes. Those that are on the left side of the page are the ones that you interact with the most. Its true for me but I think that if you were public as was I, then it does not count anyone except those that are friends with.