Hello

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I'm new and have two children with npd/sociopath man,we never married but we have two children together we are not together now he married now and he lied that he will bring my son back but he never did,so he lives with my son who is 11 years and I live with my 9 years daughter... .this past holiday he came to see my daughter and asked to take her in usa,(i live outside usa)... .he only talked to everybody else but not me about taking her to study in usa... .I don't know where to start... .I need help... .wish I can even take my son from him and live happily

[Amanda133]

I'm new and have two children with npd/sociopath man,we never married but we have two children together we are not together now he married now and he lied that he will bring my son back but he never did,so he lives with my son who is 11 years and I live with my 9 years daughter... .this past holiday he came to see my daughter and asked to take her in usa,(i live outside usa)... .he only talked to everybody else but not me about taking her to study in usa... .I don't know where to start... .I need help... .wish I can even take my son from him and live happily

[livednlearned]

Hi Amanda133,

Welcome to bpdfamily! How long has it been since you saw your son? It sounds like you do not have a formal custody agreement? Does your son communicate with you?

And your daughter -- did she go with him to the US?

I'm sorry you're dealing with this, but I'm glad you found the site.

[Amanda133]

Thanks ... .He came with my son... I get to talk to him... .he is very unhappy and scared to share anything with me... .I don't know what they have done to him... I tried to ask him but he is said im fine ... .and he was very angry to his sister even over small things ... .my daughter is still with me ... .his dad called her today that she should get ready for moving ... .without even asking me ,... but good thing her passport is with me so he can't take her without my approval as far as I know

[livednlearned]

You can check online to see -- find out if he needs your permission to bring your son and daughter into the US without your permission. When I was married to N/BPDx, I had to show a notarized letter giving me permission from my ex to bring my son into Canada, my home country. I only needed a passport if I was flying. By car or boat, I didn't need a passport for S13.

Each country is different. If you do not have a formal custody agreement, it will make it more difficult to prevent your ex from doing what he wants.

It sounds like your son is afraid. Too afraid to tell you how he is doing. He might also be mad at you because he thinks you let him go with his dad, who is abusive to him.  :'(  How long has he been living with his dad?