Debbieharris
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 1
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« on: January 10, 2015, 07:43:29 AM » |
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Hello everyone,
I have been with my partner for almost 4 years. She is bipolar and has borderline personality disorder, both diagnosed. I'm 35 and she's 25. We got a civil partnership 9 months ago.
Just before I met her, she was in hospital for about 6 weeks and after a year and half together, she was hospitalised again same period. She used to self-harm and suicidal threats but no longer does the first.
Our lives has been a roller coaster really... .things are good but when is bad is really bad. She has cheated on me few times but I forgave her and thought she'd have learned a lesson. I have also injured all sorts of abuse, physical and emotional.
Recently, just before Christmas I found out she slept with a guy (even though claims to be a lesbian) and in order for me not to ask her whereabouts, she sent me a text saying that she tried to kill herself again. Which was a lie, I checked with a friend that she was staying over who confirmed she was fine and slept somewhere else.
Still I confronted her in a calm matter but still, she went ballistic, had a breakdown, threatened me in many ways (with a big kitchen knife, broke a bottle of wine also tried to strangle me). The ambulance came and we managed to calm her down and we still attended Christma's do at her family's. When in there, we talked a lot and promised to work things in the relationship. When we got back she started to change and left 2 days later without and explanation or whatsoever. I was really hurt, couldn't believe she'd ever done that. When I managed to get hold of her, she said she was alone and cutting ties with me and her Mum, which again I read as suicidal threat.
The next day we talked a bit and she admitted to be staying at her lover's house. And then, said she shouldn't have run away and wanted to come back home. She came, we talked and again promised to work through things, same thing happen, next morning texted saying she found somewhere to stay.
Since then we have only seen each other once, she keeps disappearing and appearing, saying she wants her life back and when I say just come home, she backs out at the last minute. Like today, said and even sent a text to the guy saying she couldn't continue this and wanted to save her marriage and then texted me later saying she's broken and can't make anyone happy and wasn't coming anymore. In two weeks, this is the third time.
And not to mention, all the responsibility I have to face on my own, rent, bills... .in two weeks, she has spent £900 on new guy and temporarily place, money that we don't have.
I feel I'm trapped in her turmoil and because I love her, every time she comes back I don't have the guts to simply say no more and tbh I don't know what to do.
Does anyone have any tips?
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