Have you talked with a therapist?
not yet, my ex wont allow that so I have to address that in court. my daughter is about to turn 2 so she is still pretty young. I plan on getting her in counseling.
*First, a transition object that represents you to the child, that child can take with him/her. And/or an object that is there to remind them of you, e.g. T suggested I bring in a bouquet of flowers to her classroom so that when she sees them she remembers I'm thinking of her. I asked if it's a good idea for the kids if H did this also and he said yes. H wasn't talking to me at this point so I don't remember if I tried to communicate it to him or not. Actually I think he did buy little gifts for them a few times, and I didn't say anything one way or the other to them. I figured they belonged to the kids, not me, and it was part of their relationship with their dad.
my thoughts exactly that was the idea of getting her the bear.
*A photo of me and child that child can keep at other parent's house. I did this and it has since been lost at ex's house
I tried that and my ex refused, she has 2 other kids with 2 different dads and allows 1 of those kids to have a picture of her dad. what message is she sending to her daughters by allowing one to have a picture of her dad but not the other ones. something im going to bring that to the attention of the judge.
Maybe a therapist can help offer ideas and if it comes from someone besides you, she might listen.
hopefully she will but she never has in the past when other councilors offered advice. she is right and everyone else is wrong
I think it's irrelevant what she does or doesn't ask you to take. I don't think it's a game of, "you did this so I can do that" or "I don't do this so you can't do that." I think that's how my ex sees things sometimes. Can you put something in your custody agreement that the child is free to transfer her belongings between homes/take her belongings to her mothers'?
I agree its about making life easier for the kids. that's what I intend to do when we go to court.
Do you have the choice of daily phone contact with your daughter?
I would like that but the ex wont let me talk to her but twice a week. my last lawyer did a horrible job on the write up in the order. to many grey areas and as im sure you know with these people it has to to be black and white.
What would happen if you just keep giving daughter something each time to take with her? In other words, doing what you want to and what you think is healthy for your daughter?
more conflict but I have to keep trying for my daughter.
thanks for the advice
